Is the internet the only place where you can pass as NT?

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Joe90
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14 Jun 2022, 10:11 pm

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Sociopaths are the opposite of autistics. Lack sympathy, but have empathy. They know how you tick, and use that knowledge to exploit you. Autistics feel sympathy for others by lack the theory of mind to understand others.

Then how come lack of empathy is always listed as a symptom of a sociopath?

The only empathy NTs typically have is recognising body language, tone of voice, etc, and reacting to it accordingly (though not always depending on the context but you know what I mean). And some Aspies can have this instinct too, like me, except I used to have some difficulties reacting accordingly but it doesn't mean I didn't recognise body language and what it means. I've gotten better at it as I've gotten older, and if I don't react accordingly then it's because I've chosen not to but I'm still aware as to what and why. For example if I'm annoying someone and their body language says "that's annoying me" but I really want the person to feel annoyed then I will carry on annoying them until I get some sort of reaction. No, I don't literally do this all the time, it's just an example.

Most people use the word empathy to mean "respect and compassion". On this site the word empathy is described as "knowing how to be a jerk". Da fuq???

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Earthbound_Alien
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14 Jun 2022, 11:32 pm

Joe90 wrote:

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Empathy is understanding and sharing someones feelings and compassion is feeling compassion is feeling concern for someones plight.

the world mixes them up...society is confused.

I'm a wind up merchant but I like to do it in Good humour...i will back off if they are getting annoyed or upset. I'm playful but keep meeting overly serious people

Earthbound_Alien
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14 Jun 2022, 11:50 pm

Joe90 wrote:

I don't know what I pass as but I definitely don't have any obvious autism-ness when I'm interacting with people. If I mask, I just come across as a timid and shy NT. If I don't mask I come across as a quirky NT with some mild intellectual learning difficulties. But when I don't mask, my ADHD is quite obvious. But nobody would guess Asperger's or autism.

no one ever gets to know me in Norfolk so I can't comment

Norfolk people are obsessed with themselves

I'm Midlands not norfolkian....

I have classically autistic quirks but am not ret*d.

as a child I was tested as being developmentally behind my same age peers in some ways but in front in others...backwards and forwards at the same time.

iq 140

Earthbound_Alien
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14 Jun 2022, 11:54 pm

Sonic200 wrote:

Do you think the internet is the only place where it is possible for you to pass as a neurotypical?

why do you want to pass as neurotypical?

embrace yourself

I look neurotypical on the surface until you spend time with me...then i look like 'whom the hell dropped her on her head Ms quirky'....

I'm OK with that

its funny lol

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14 Jun 2022, 11:55 pm

the internet is the only place I can talk freely...in person I'm so shy I freeze up

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16 Jun 2022, 1:30 pm

Joe90 wrote:

Quote:

Then how come lack of empathy is always listed as a symptom of a sociopath?

[...]

Most people use the word empathy to mean "respect and compassion". On this site the word empathy is described as "knowing how to be a jerk". Da fuq???

nick007
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17 Jun 2022, 5:21 am

One major issue I've had on other forums is that the members were very cliquish & I was more of a rogue outsider. I didn't really fit the mold for any cliques. I had issues with members in all the cliques but I also tended to along well with some members in most cliques. I am very loyal to a fault with romantic relationships & friendships but I also speak my mind when I think something is a very bad idea. While I tend to be kinda passive & go along with things, I do NOT have a sheeple mentality & I'll jump off the bandwagon 1ce I'm sure it's becoming a crazy train.

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17 Jun 2022, 12:14 pm

I live in a very dull, culturally backward part of the UK. I can walk down the street and fail to pass as a normie consequently I spend most of my life hiding from people.

Online, I'm usually accused of being too blunt and rude and being willing to discuss subjects that others feel uncomfortable talking and thinking about - usually death - so I stand out.

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nick007
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19 Jun 2022, 9:42 am

Earthbound_Alien wrote:

Joe90 wrote:

Quote:

NTs tend to not understand nor share others feelings & they also tend to lack concern for others. The NT world is a vortex of greed, entitlement, & hatred; the news has TONS of examples. Yet us Aspies are thought to be the 1s who lack empathy :roll:

I believe that NTs are projecting their lack of empathy onto others :evil:

naturalplastic
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19 Jun 2022, 10:21 am

Joe90 wrote:

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Were going in circles.

Dont call it "empathy". Call it "cognative empathy". Nothing to do with "sympathy" nor compassion. Just having the right "theory of mind".

Sympathy, or "affective sympathy" means "compassion".

A sociopath figures out how you tick, but has no compassion for you, and uses that knowlege to exploit you.

An aspie lack social instincts, but has compassion, but screws up do to lack of theory of mind.
======================

But the point I was making was that even in text folks will betray a certain autistic way of thinking. Like they will miss the larger point you're making and correct some little fact (tell you some fact you may already even know)that has nothing to do with the larger point. Not see the forest for a single a tree.

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19 Jun 2022, 10:25 am

100% yes! I have met people off the internet who I got on well with online...only for them to be mystified and confused when I met them in person. No idea why. But I appear eloquent, sociable, normal online, whereas in real life apparently I appear weird in some way. *shrugs*

I think it's because in writing I have lots of time to carefully compose a clear reply. In real life I get confused, say the wrong thing, can't explain clearly etc. etc. And I think my face isn't very smiley or friendly, it's more harsh and stern.

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KitLily
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19 Jun 2022, 10:28 am

arachnids wrote:

I live in a very dull, culturally backward part of the UK. I can walk down the street and fail to pass as a normie consequently I spend most of my life hiding from people.

Oh I hear you loud and clear. I live in a small country village in the middle of nowhere. Everyone is related to everyone else, I'm 'the newbie' who moved into 'their territory'. So not only am I an interloper, I am a weirdo too! It's been a very lonely 20 years here.

Living in London was better because every single person was different to the other. We're hoping to at last move to a bigger town in a couple of years thank goodness.

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Edna3362
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20 Jun 2022, 6:27 am

Nope.
There's just something with the way I write sometimes...

As long as it doesn't involve a lot of words, I'd definitely able to pass.

Joe90 wrote:

Most people use the word empathy to mean "respect and compassion". On this site the word empathy is described as "knowing how to be a jerk and how to get away with it". Da fuq???

I added the bold.
It's the same misconception with socialization.

Thought socialization is all about being friendly and all that cliche? No. :roll:

It's about sizing preys and predators and hierarchies, what can be benefitted from or not and how to negotiate that, based on one's territory and power like any social animals do.
It just look like some meet and greet with words and gestures, instead of posturing and circling around growling and sniffing.
NT-reality is darker than your average aspie naivete of what socializing looks like.
Cognitive empathy at it's finest.

And the affective empathy that a good portion of aspies is capable of having??
An unmanageable burden on cognitive load, sensory and emotional regulation without the former.

Also makes people error prone the same way emotions if not well regulated, disastrous.

Even some NTs would rather get rid of this type of empathy just to advance further in life. Several high ranking professions discourages or even suppresses this very aspect and have ethics and altruism as compassion's alternative.

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AnomalousAspergian
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07 Aug 2022, 11:29 am

Joe90 wrote:

Quote:

Then how come lack of empathy is always listed as a symptom of a sociopath?

Most people use the word empathy to mean "respect and compassion". On this site the word empathy is described as "knowing how to be a jerk". Da fuq???

It isn't always so much as a lack of empathy but rather a lack of empathetic depth among sociopaths and individuals with NPD.

CockneyRebel
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07 Aug 2022, 9:46 pm

i don't pass as NT anywhere, even on the Internet. I don't want to, either.

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cyberdad
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07 Aug 2022, 10:19 pm

I think this thread is a little silly
https://www.theguardian.com/society/201 ... ender-bias
https://childmind.org/article/autistic- ... ed-autism/

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