What are some neurotypical things that don't make sense?

Page 3 of 4 [ 53 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 80,128
Location: UK

28 Mar 2025, 11:47 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
babybird wrote:
I'm questioning my diagnosis right now

What's brought that about? Reading this thread?


Yeah


_________________
We have existence


gwynfryn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Aug 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 652
Location: France

28 Mar 2025, 11:52 am

I could never figure why people say "hello, how are you" when they had no interest in my health (nor I in theirs)! I'd probably have had a lot more friends if only someone had explained to me that it was code for "I'd like to converse with you"!



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,769

28 Mar 2025, 12:29 pm

babybird wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
babybird wrote:
I'm questioning my diagnosis right now

What's brought that about? Reading this thread?


Yeah

So which of the NT traits mentioned on this thread are you guilty of?



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 80,128
Location: UK

28 Mar 2025, 12:33 pm

Well I quite like smalltalk if I'm honest


_________________
We have existence


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,769

28 Mar 2025, 12:43 pm

gwynfryn wrote:
I could never figure why people say "hello, how are you" when they had no interest in my health (nor I in theirs)! I'd probably have had a lot more friends if only someone had explained to me that it was code for "I'd like to converse with you"!

Anthony Trollope was definitely on your side:
When one Esquimau meets another, do the two, as an invariable rule,
ask after each other's health? is it inherent in all human nature to
make this obliging inquiry? Did any reader of this tale ever meet
any friend or acquaintance without asking some such question, and did
anyone ever listen to the reply?

[The Warden, 1855]



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,769

28 Mar 2025, 12:48 pm

babybird wrote:
Well I quite like smalltalk if I'm honest

They'll be lynching you for that round here.
Actually I quite like it myself, though I think that's because everything is big to me if I have any interest in it at all, and I've got quite broad tastes.



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 80,128
Location: UK

28 Mar 2025, 12:48 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
^
I think it depends what they're talking about. If what they want to say might upset the listener then they often approach it indirectly. You can even ask them a straight question and if they don't think you'll like the answer, they'll dilute their answer or maybe just say silent, which they hope you'll take as meaning that the answer isn't nice. People are remarkably sensitive to all kinds of things. There are also a lot of questions that are often considered invasive or threatening. And a lot depends on context, so a remark or question can be appropriate in one situation and out of line in another. A lot of it has to do with pride.


I don't see this in my life. Nobody has ever held back from being absolutely brutally honest to me regardless of my feelings. I'm usually the one to be full of tact and diplomacy....well most of the time anyway

Maybe I'm nt and everyone who I've ever known is Nd


_________________
We have existence


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,769

28 Mar 2025, 1:11 pm

babybird wrote:
I don't see this in my life. Nobody has ever held back from being absolutely brutally honest to me regardless of my feelings. I'm usually the one to be full of tact and diplomacy....well most of the time anyway

Maybe I'm nt and everyone who I've ever known is Nd

No, it'll be all those blunt Yorkshire folk you're surrounded by. I noticed the holding back thing more when I moved from south from Sheffield to Leicester.



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 80,128
Location: UK

28 Mar 2025, 1:41 pm

I'm not from Yorkshire but I have known a lot of Yorkshire folk in my time


_________________
We have existence


Stargazer99
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 19 Jan 2025
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 433
Location: Earth

28 Mar 2025, 2:00 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
^
Yes Aspies are notorious for a singular hatred of dishonesty. I've never fully understood why this is so. It probably adds a lot of difficulty to the already hard task of understanding what's going on with people and predicting what they're going to do, like somebody messing with the brakes of a car you're trying to drive safely. And then there's the emotional sensitivity thing that may make it harder to forgive what's seen as some kind of an attack, because it just hurts more deeply.

I've changed my attitude a bit over the years, so for example if a Christian was dying and asked me if they were going to heaven, I'd probably say yes, though I really don't think they are. There are compassionate lies. I'm also capable of playing things up or down if I think the person concerned might be worse off with the truth, at least at the time, though I'd always hope that they'd later become strong enough for me to fix that. And those who I see as particularly hostile towards me, I feel that they've forfeited the right to the truth. So a benefits adjudicator who was trying to deny me my rights might not get complete honesty from me. There does seem to be a game going on in the world where if an individual is too candid, they'll get taken advantage of. One thing I'd be very loathe to drop is my insistence of honesty between partners. It still surprises and dismays me to see couples who are comfortable with deceiving each other. I'm never comfortable with dishonesty.


To my way of thinking, dishonesty creates a lag in the computer processing program. When the mind is programmed to run its scripts based on truth, any errors (dishonesty) create a problem and unnecessary additional adjustments in the script to return to its proper path. What a waste of computational time! Dishonesty creates problems where there were none before.

As for the game you describe going on in the world, that mindset of taking advantage of others is like a computer virus.



Velorum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2020
Age: 65
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1,363
Location: UK

28 Mar 2025, 2:09 pm

I long ago gave up trying to understand them.

These days I stay as far away from them as possible. I can often go for over a week without interacting with any of them.

Made possible by the fact that Im retired and live in a ND household.


_________________
Diagnosed: ASD, hEDS, MCAS, ARFID
Retired specialist neurodevelopmental clinician
Member of Autistic & LGBTQ+ communities in South West UK
Trustee at Cornwall Pride charity & Coordinator at Kernow Neurodivergent Artists network


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,769

28 Mar 2025, 2:11 pm

babybird wrote:
I'm not from Yorkshire but I have known a lot of Yorkshire folk in my time

It does tend to rub off on people. And once you've got it, it sticks. A bloke on Facebook said of me, "You can take the man out of Sheffield, but you can't take Sheffield out of the man."



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,769

28 Mar 2025, 2:21 pm

Stargazer99 wrote:
To my way of thinking, dishonesty creates a lag in the computer processing program. When the mind is programmed to run its scripts based on truth, any errors (dishonesty) create a problem and unnecessary additional adjustments in the script to return to its proper path. What a waste of computational time! Dishonesty creates problems where there were none before.

As for the game you describe going on in the world, that mindset of taking advantage of others is like a computer virus.

Yes if your brain is trying to run like a computer program, lies are the equivalent of corrupted code, and we get this "rubbish in, rubbish out" thing.

So when a doctor asks how much you drink, you have to halve the amount that you tell him because you know he's going to double it, because he expects you to have halved it. And so the virus spreads.



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 80,128
Location: UK

28 Mar 2025, 2:25 pm

I think lying is sometimes necessary for survival purposes


_________________
We have existence


Stargazer99
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 19 Jan 2025
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 433
Location: Earth

28 Mar 2025, 2:29 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
Stargazer99 wrote:
To my way of thinking, dishonesty creates a lag in the computer processing program. When the mind is programmed to run its scripts based on truth, any errors (dishonesty) create a problem and unnecessary additional adjustments in the script to return to its proper path. What a waste of computational time! Dishonesty creates problems where there were none before.

As for the game you describe going on in the world, that mindset of taking advantage of others is like a computer virus.

Yes if your brain is trying to run like a computer program, lies are the equivalent of corrupted code, and we get this "rubbish in, rubbish out" thing.

So when a doctor asks how much you drink, you have to halve the amount that you tell him because you know he's going to double it, because he expects you to have halved it. And so the virus spreads.


Or when you are autistic, have worked in a corporate job 20+ years, don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, don’t have tattoos, don’t follow any extremist views, etc…and are still blocked from employment because of nothing more than a label. “Different.”



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,769

28 Mar 2025, 2:35 pm

Velorum wrote:
I long ago gave up trying to understand them.

These days I stay as far away from them as possible. I can often go for over a week without interacting with any of them.

Made possible by the fact that Im retired and live in a ND household.

In my case I still tend to judge them on a case-by-case basis, because I've known some NT's that I've liked - usually the eccentric ones. I prefer the term "mainstream" to "neurotypical" - it's often been that mainstream mindset in people that's been the main problem for me, though even mainstreamers aren't always bad people. Personality is a whole shebang of traits, and each person has their own unique profile. It's the more homogenous communities that I have the most trouble relating to. If I'm in a diverse group, nobody stands out as being the oddball, so I'm safe.