are people who dont have kids considered failures?

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GoddessofSin
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21 Feb 2008, 10:48 am

I would never say that, but then again I don't have kids hehehe

I don't have kids because I am selfish and I admit it and my spouse doesn't want that life style. If I were to change partners and life styles I might want them.

All of that being said I have been given the "look" many times when I say I am not having kids *insert huge eye roll here*


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Vexcalibur
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21 Feb 2008, 11:18 am

If you do not pass your genes to the next generation, you have failed to contribute to the gene pool. In all nature and evolutionary rules, you are a failure if you do that.

But if you don't care enough on mankind or really don't want others to have your genes, or you do something like helping a brother/sister survive and then he does pass his/her genes (which are probably incredibly similar to yours) then it is not that bad...



9CatMom
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21 Feb 2008, 9:45 pm

I never had children and, at my age, there are considerable risks involved. I will concentrate my maternal instincts on taking care of my cats and dog. I had a cat who lived to be 2O. All in all, I think I was a good mommy, even if it was a mommy of cats.



howzat
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22 Feb 2008, 7:24 am

Not really as kids r annoying ur better without dem.



Prof_Pretorius
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22 Feb 2008, 12:47 pm

I have to agree that it's up to you how to judge this...

I have a daughter, and went through a lot of grief to raise her. (Her mother is a mess, and I had to go to court to get custody.) Having said that, I wouldn't trade her for the bloody world. I love her and now that she's an adult we have a marvelous relationship. The other side of the coin is a mate of mine who's never married or had children. He always said he knew he wouldn't be a good parent or husband, so he didn't do either. He's happy, I'm happy, so who's to say?


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MissConstrue
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22 Feb 2008, 4:04 pm

I don't know, am I a failure since I don't or plan to have kids? These cats I own act like childen. They want so much attention that it's hard enough. They're into everything like toddlers.



tweety_fan
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29 Feb 2008, 6:27 am

does anyone ever notice it that when it comes to kids people think they can see your future. like eg "kids don't have to get in the way of a career" "when are you going to have some?" how do they know your personal circumstances are?

i will leave the choice up to the person.

i have signed up to be an organ donor so when i die, i will have made at least a small difference in this world, regardless of whether i gave birth or not.

it is a silly statement isn't it? that you are worthless because u have no kids, regardless of if u a rich socialite or a mother theresa type person.



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29 Feb 2008, 7:33 am

This picture sums up my response to anyone who has a problem with my choice not to have children:

Image


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29 Feb 2008, 8:49 am

I don't think that people who don't have children are considered to be failures, well at least I hope not anyway. I'm not really bothered about having children as there are plenty of people out there who do. Plus I don't really fancy the idea of having a tiny individual that's demanding physically, mentally and financially, especially as I need to sort my own life out first.


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ClosetAspy
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29 Feb 2008, 4:49 pm

I've never had children--never really wanted any--and I don't consider myself a failure. Maybe in Darwinian terms, but then, my failure to reproduce actually benefits the species because I am not passing on any Asperger's genes. I've had others imply that I am a failure for other things, mainly social, but never that (maybe they are relieved!). Anyway it doesn't bother me, as I have always said, there is no shortage of children in the world and if I really, really wanted one I could adopt.



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29 Feb 2008, 4:58 pm

I don't like the idea that one specific choice in life can make you a success or a failure. Certainly not one that doesn't affect anyone's life but your own.

People have only had the choice to not have children for around 50 years now. Before that, being childless carried a huge stigma because it meant that you were not able to reproduce. Being "barren" was shameful (and usually blamed on the woman - go figure). All throughout history, if you had sex, you were going to have children. Fact. Not having children meant that in the eyes of society, something was seriously wrong with you, because you either weren't able to have children, or you weren't having sex with your spouse.

I don't think I want children, but I'm not sure. I am young and depending on my circumstances and whether I end up with someone who wants kids, I might change my mind. But I really don't think it's a problem that some people are more discerning about when and if they have children. It's much more common for people to have more children than they want or can afford. The only way I would have a child is if I truly wanted one and knew I could give it all the love, care, and financial security that children deserve. That said, I think I'd be a horrible mother and my genes aren't so great either. I think there are some people out there who would be better off NOT passing their genes forward. If I don't, the human race will move forward without me. One person's genetic contribution is like dumping a thimble full of water into the Pacific Ocean. That's about the amount of difference you've made, for good or ill.



SDFarsight
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01 Mar 2008, 9:53 pm

In the 'passing of their genes' sense, yes, they have failed. But that's not to say that their whole life has been a failure. My grand uncle has a wife, lots of money and a classy home in France; but unfortunatly they are unable to have children without adopting. His brother (my granddad) isn't so rich, but he has children and grandchildren. Both of them have achieved alot in their lives, It's all a matter of what your view of 'success' in life is.