i am 16 and have a 3 MONTH OLD BABY GIRL

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Puppylove,

I hope you get support from your family. My daughter was only a couple of years older than you when she had her son. It was hard, for all of us, but she's doing well now and so is he. Now that he's in school, she's a "young mother," but it's not as much of a difference as when he was a baby. He has PDD-NOS, as does one of his friends. She needed a lot of help getting him supports through school, and we did our best to help her with that. Now that she knows other moms, it's also easier. Use your family, if they are willing to be used for support. Find a play group for your baby, if you can. It can help. If the play group has other young mothers, you won't feel quite so alone in this. And you can do what you need to do - my daughter went to college, has a job, met a really nice guy and just got married. That may not be what you want to do, but it's what she wanted. Whatever you want, the baby can be your motivation, and not your obstacle. Enjoy your baby - they are blessings, despite what some others on this board may think!

Good luck!

Hi Puppylove! I hope you're doing well with this parenting thing. You seem to be keeping positive.

So why are you kicking the 16 year old that had the kid? How is that productive? Is she supposed to apologize for what, having sex? not getting an abortion? Not having parents that would have ensured she was not in that position in the first place? 16 is not an adult in our society. I just don't understand what you are hoping to accomplish by being so judgemental and harsh on her. It's not like she can UNDO it, and your dire predictions. . .just to make her feel even worse, I am interested in how that can be beneficial to her or to anyone else in her position.

I think you enjoy it, Kalister. I think you like kicking people when they are down because, like your crack about going to a prestigious university, you are a snob as well as a sadist.

now, go running to the mods because I am attacking you. . they know where to find me.

Merle

I don't mind. I think your just a cranky old broad who thinks she is always right.

and I have lots of company on this one, too! You have gone too far, Kalister1. It was hatred like yours that threw me out into the wide world on my own when I was 17 and pregnant with out benefit of matrimony. it was you that didn't matter to that I had been raped, I was just a statistic and a bad and wayward girl that committed the sin of carnal knowledge and needed to be punished. It was me that ate out of dumpsters and shivered in the state parks as I hitchhiked my way from coast to coast looking for somewhere to bear my poor malnourished child growing in my stomach. It was you who took my child away from me at birth because 'my dear, you are just not fit to be a mother.

yeah, think about what might have MADE me a cranky old broad.

Thank gawd for good people that just saw me as a human being in need and helped me. Of course, it is YOU that would tell them to not bother, because I would just go on to annoy you as some 'cranky old broad that thinks she is always right,' and as you have pointed out, your kind are more worthy to live in the world.

enjoy being 'right'

Merle A. Morrigan

I see you have some problems, and I am sorry. I hope you can find some help for your issues. Yes, people like me, if it makes you feel better to blame me, thats what it is. I don't mind being blamed at all, because it helps you, and doesn't bother me in the least.

well, then, I am glad to have this chat with you. I couldn't believe it, I certainly didn't want to; but I am feeling pity for you, you poor man. Because if you can't feel compassion, then you can't feel love, either. I am sorry for the issues that must cause in your life with the people around you. I do hope there is some sort of help for you, too.

Merle

Whatever makes you feel better honey. I think you should see a shrink instead of spending so much time on this board tough.

Last edited by Kalister1 on 13 Apr 2008, 8:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

to our planet, welcome!

Don't think for a second that you having a baby is a mistake or let anyone tell you that you'll be a failure because of it. If you have the supports in place like family and friends, you'll do very well. Just stay in school and do your best there.

Babies are wonderful, aren't they?

good to have finally struck a nerve sonny. Didn't like to be pitied did ya!

Merle

Firstly, welcome to WP.

Secondly, I wish you luck. It may not be easy, and even though I know little about you, I think you can do it. All you need to do is stay positive, work hard, and ignore all those who try to put you down and make you feel worthless. And if you ever need advice, I know there are many people on this board who would be more then happy to give it to you.

Not everyone is destined to go to a prestigious college or university, with or without a child. I chose not to go to university and instead chose trade school, because I couldn't handle the stress needed - despite having and passing all preparatory classes in high school. Of course, I'm now considering university but I know plenty of single moms at my school who are working their way up.

I haven't felt an inkling of anything this entire conversation. I don't see how you can, its simply a message board on the internet.

Righteous indignation was all that you emoted in this thread. Some might call it trolling. I'll leave the moderators to decide on that one.

first off, congratulations if you ever need someone to talk to gimmie a shoue

Hey puppylove

There's somebody here that admires and respects you. I dropped DNA in two kids and raised three others. I wouldn't say it's the most important thing I'll ever do in my life, I'd say it's the only important thing.

I couldn't care less about your age. A few kids have good parents and a lot of kids don't. It sounds to me like you're trying your best to be one of the good parents. Getting older doesn't make bad parents into good ones. What matters is what's in your heart, and that's something you don't learn from getting older. All the rest is just details.

Got any idea who the king of England was five hundred years ago, or the pope? This is an aspie board, so somebody here probably knows, but I don't either, and I don't think it matters. What's still important from five hundred years ago? What kids got from their parents, both good and bad. The things you're sharing with your daughter right now will still be around for centuries, long after your grandchildren are dead from old age.

I been to grad school and it didn't make me no smarter, and it sure didn't make me an understanding, caring human being, the kind of human being that makes an excellent parent. They don't teach that in school.

I'm sure you've already noticed, in spite of all the trouble, kids are life's greatest joy. Some people are too dumb to know that. Some people aren't.