dumb warnings

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and the end of which year?

2007, it happened last year. Bleah, the very thought I could LITERALLY follow the instruction, eating this fish food MYSELF makes me grateful I was born a human being not fish so I don't need to eat this

"Do not use orally after using rectally"
In the instructions for an electric thermometer..

Some more warnings:


A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow
"Not intended for highway use."

A Bathroom Heater
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms."

A Battery
"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use."

A CD player
"Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."

A Car Jack
"For lifting purposes only."

A Children's cough medicine
"Do not drive car or operate machinery."

A Cordless Phone
"Do not put lit candles on phone."

A Halloween Batman costume
"This cape does not give the wearer the ability to fly."

A Hammer
"Caution: Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object."

A New Zealand insect spray
"Not tested on animals."

A TV remote controller
"Not dishwasher safe".

A Television Owner’s Manual
"Do not pour liquids into your television set."

A VCR box says
"Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included."

A bottle of shampoo for dogs
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish."

On a bottle-top of a flavored milk drink
"After opening, keep upright."

A box of Nytol® Sleep Aid
"Warning -- May cause drowsiness."

A box of birthday cake candles
"DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity."

A box of rat poison
"Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice."

A camera
"This camera only works when there is film inside."

A can of air freshener
"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers".

A can of self-defense pepper spray
"May irritate eyes."

A can of windscreen de-icing spray
"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures."

A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard
"Do not drive with sunshield in place."

A cartridge for a laser printer
"Do not eat toner."

A computer mouse
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers."

A container of underarm deodorant
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes."

A dishwasher carries this warning
"Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher."

A helmet mounted mirror used by USA cyclists
"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you."

A hotel-provided shower cap
"Fits one head."

A household iron
"Never iron clothes while they are being worn."

A hand-held massager
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious."

A snow sled
"Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions."

A hair dryer
"Never use hair dryer while sleeping."

A massage chair
"DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving."

A package of dice
"Not for human consumption."

A packet of juggling balls
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."

A popular manufactured fireplace log
"Caution - Risk of Fire."

A prescription of sleeping pills
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

A rubber ball toy
"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball."

A sharpening stone
"Knives are sharp."

A snowblower warns
"Do not use snowblower on roof."

A string of Chinese made Christmas lights
"For indoor or outdoor use only."

A baby stroller
"Remove infant before folding."

A pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."

An electric router made for carpenters
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill."

An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter
"Do not use near fire, flame or sparks."

A package of nuts
"Instructions - open packet, eat nuts."

A chainsaw
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand."

A brand of Korean kitchen knives
"Keep out of children."

A Microwave Oven says
"Do not use for drying pets."

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
"Product will be hot after heating."

A box of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
"Do not turn upside down."

A bottled water label
"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth."

A .22 caliber rifle
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death."

A Fruit Roll-Up snack
"Remove plastic before eating."

On game cartridges:


Do not immerse in water





There was a lady who put her Super Nintendo games in the dishwasher to clean them and then they wouldn't work, so she called the Nintendo Hotline. She told them she can't get them to work after she had cleaned them and the person asked her how did she clean them and she said she put them in the dishwasher. The lady told her next time to use a Super Nintendo cleaning kit, not the dishwasher. Then she said, "I wish someone would have told me that sooner."



I can remember hearing this story on the old Nsider forums on the Nintendo site.

Guess my neighbors should have read that one. A couple of them were horsing around with a can of pepper spray and one accidentally sprayed the other in the face. The one that got sprayed was rolling around on the ground in agony and his "friend" said, "Oh, you are just making a big deal out of nothing, look, it really isn't so bad," and he sprayed himself in the face. So now both of them are rolling around on the ground yelling "Call 911". When the cops arrived on the scene they just shook their heads and said it was too bad someone didn't post it on You Tube.