What's on your mind right now?

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Thanks! I'm all freaked out that I stole it or did something wrong. I'm going back this week but I'm equally shy or embarrassed to bring it to their attention and ask if they want it back.

The place probably has a good supply of those things

If they ask for it back, give it back. Otherwise, don’t mention it.

Thanks. Only one person can go in at a time. There's a big table blocking the waiting room, a few metres from the reception desk, for social distancing. People pay at the table on their way out so they don't go near the receptionist.

I paid with the Square thing and then all of a sudden the receptionist was on the other side of the table offering me the pink stick. I think it was in a cup so that she didn't touch it, but I can't remember. I was so surprised to see her standing there that I just took the thing and assumed it was a pen.

I'll pay more attention when I go again this week. If it seems like something I was supposed to return, I'll clean it with a disinfectant wipe and put it on the table.

Seems I can't win for losing.

Went to social skills group for the first time in a long while yesterday, and I was the only one there without some sort of job. Made introduction kind of awkward when everyone else mentioned their job, and other things they were working toward (school, getting an apartment, etc.), and all I could say was “Hi, I’m dragonsanddemons,” and then at the pause waiting for me to continue, “Um, I don’t have a job or anything. I don’t really have anything else to share.” Harsh reminder of how much more functional, at least, everyone else is than me. I was just starting to accept the fact that I’m unlikely to ever really make anything resembling forward progress in any way from where I am… and I’m not going to keep making progress even toward that when I’m reminded of how far behind I am of people who are years younger than me (and also autistic) (I’m also the oldest attendee, I don’t really count as a “young adult” anymore). But I feel kind of forced into attending.

And then thinking about that stuff, I realize that there isn’t really any point in trying to even move out if I’m not going to be able to earn money to pay for it. It would just add rent to the expenses my parents have for me. They’ve been a lot more comfortable with the possibility (which has become a probability) that I’m going to keep living with them my whole life than I have. Completely pointless if I still can’t really live on my own anyway, and would need to find some sort of assistance there, too (any kind of “assisted living” sort of thing I’ve found either isn’t suited for me or I’m not quite disabled enough to qualify for monetary assistance of some sort that they factor in to the prices). I guess I really just couldn’t quite let go of the feeling that getting my own place is something that is expected of an adult, even knowing that the other “markers” of adulthood aren’t going to happen for me. One last vestige of trying to work toward any sort of “normal” life, I guess. Probably about time I give that up, too.

A few regarding to the seedling; would it go on to become a sapling? Sure it's cool season now but until like January.

And the summer in this particular city is usually the worst around the region. Maybe more.
To cope, it'll had to go indoors or in a decent shade -- but that's also still too warm and this particular house doesn't have the ideal positioning.

And the fridge??? There's no air or light in the fridge.

Then when the sapling goes on to become a tree... Where would I settle it? A young tree would go on a huge pot but...


Hm.
I'm thinking this way too far ahead.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Took me a whole lot of frustration today but I set up a paypal account, so that's nice. Turns out it is pretty easy to use, and consequently I've already spent more money than I probably should have, but whatever.

I really need a break from work. Requested a holiday and hopefully I'll manage to reset my brain then.

My depression has taken away most of my appetite and I haven't been eating well for a few months. Bad because it's not super healthy, but it's nice not to feel pressured into eating all the time, so, silver linings.

Wondering how my cats and rabbit lay like such perfect little loafs. Also wondering how my rabbit is so much like a cat.

Weird moments when I feel like going to text to speech instead of just reading it.

And the opposite -- audio to text. Both accounts on random.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

It takes way too much energy to come up with the slightest statement. Good thing I am just a lot attendant, not cashier. When work makes my worthless corpse redundant, not much occupational prospects.

Unemployable

Aphasia

Vocal cord damage

Cost of goods sold

Just today, two customers offered tips and I had to tell them tips not allowed by company. One woman was like "why?" . And I was like "it doesn't matter why. It's just not allowed.". "Huh? But do they have to know?"

Annoying. If I got made redundant for taking a tip, maybe nobody will ever hire my worthless corpse again. But even if they did, it would take one year easily. And jobs that will hire me, are jobs not many people want.

Annoying how lil dipshits have the nerve to insist I explain every slightest thing.

They need to just accept it

There are some things, not enough information to determine the answer

Or it doesn't matter why. "At will " employer



All things equal, good intentions better than bad intentions, but that doesn't justify their actions or statements

Good intentions

Sometimes when you try to "help", you make the situation even worse than it otherwise would have been if you were not to have tried to intervene

Same as "how are you doing?"

Dichotomous thinking



Hungry at work

Didn't grocery store yesterday

Have to completely overhaul diet

Exhausted all the f*****g time and options

Surprised I haven't gotten fired yet s**t

Would an autistic athlete be able to participate in the Olympics, or would they have to join Paralympics?