Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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Fancy Aunt Flo visiting on Boxing Day

It's the classic, "measure a fish's intelligence with a 100m sprint (original statement?)," problem. I wonder why the researchers still choose to ignore this blatant error and continue their increasingly worse tests (not all researchers, but some do come to mind).

Anyway, I'm unhappy today because I still can't seem to force myself to feel something significantly. Usually, I can force happiness (essentially an emotional lie in that it isn't faked but it isn't real) or at least sadness, but today just seems to be different. Maybe a good night's rest will reset whatever probably happened during the last night. Oddly enough, I did get enough sleep relative to many nights, but some emotional circuit probably, "crashed," between REM and waking up.

2 things made me unhappy today. the first one is trivial but i was outraged by it.
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1. i bought some eggs that were supposed to be 70 gram (extra large) eggs, and i boiled 2 of them, and put the first one in my egg cup, and the egg was so small that it sank into the eggcup to the extent that i could not chop it's head off. it was exactly the same size as the eggcup, and the top of the egg was below the rim of the eggcup.

i decided to get the egg out of the eggcup so i could chop it's head off, but it was "suction cupped" into the eggcup, and i could not shake it out of the eggcup.

i shook the eggcup as hard as i could to get the egg out, but the egg was stuck fast in the eggcup.

there was no alternative but to break the top of the egg with my knife by gently stabbing it, but then the shattered shell fragments sank into the yolk, and i tried to fish them out, but i could not get the shell fragments out of the egg, and i became annoyed and i decided that i would have to sacrifice the egg by clawing it out of the eggcup with my spoon.

the egg was destroyed and it was a mixture of shell grit and yolk, but i still could not get the egg out of the eggcup. i had to scrape the whole thing out vigorously with my knife as it seemed to be glued into the cup.

after i threw the wreckage of that egg away, i then stupidly placed the second egg into the egg cup, and the same thing happened.

i was extremely angry about that. i felt ripped off. breakfast was canceled.


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2. i will be spending christmas day on my own because i have no family any more. my father died earlier this year, and he was the only person who wanted me to spend christmas with him.
i always hated christmas day because i saw it as a social chore, and i was always glad when it was over. but now i have no dad anymore, i feel very sad because i am completely alone.

i am adopted, and my sisters all dislike me because they see me as a dud. they all voted to adopt me, and they thought they would get a normal healthy little brother, but i was not mentally healthy and they disowned me from an early age. they dislike me because they see me as an imposter who took the place of the little brother they wanted.

needless to say i did not even get an email saying "merry christmas" from them. i have no friends either so there is no christmas wishes for me.

tammy wanted me to go to her place for christmas, but tammy's brothers and sisters also do not like me, and they vetoed tammy's invitation. they think i am a cold and arrogant person.
i do not know how to act in a way that people like.

they are angry that tammy does not throw me away because they see me as an unloving machine and they say tammy can do so much better than me.

oh well... that is life in the big smoke i guess.

sorry for this pathetic quasi emotional post but i wrote it before i decided i should not post it, and i do not like to waste energy so here it is.