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xxZeromancerlovexx
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14 Dec 2021, 1:18 pm

Love my new gaming set up but I need an adapter for my retro consoles


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Flown
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14 Dec 2021, 2:27 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I really can't cope.

I can't do this anymore.

Someone please help.


Please message me if you need to talk, Isabella <3 *hugs*


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blitzkrieg
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14 Dec 2021, 2:49 pm

The difficulty of balancing computer brain & emotional brain.

When I am more efficient with computer brain, I seem to upset people by not measuring my words as well for their impact on others.

I endeavour to improve this, but the process is a long one.



TenMinutes
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14 Dec 2021, 8:11 pm

Spent a whole day trying to figure something out from facebook posts and photos, by what was posted and what wasn't posted, because that's all I have to go by, because nobody actually talks to me. I'm pretty good at reading between the lines, and I have to be, because what is said is often misleading.

There is something odd about both of these photo sets, and it would be missed by most people. One of the participants, however, probably saw the same problems I do. In one, your separation is palpable and it even looks like you photographed the awkwardness of it. In the other, they were clearly delighted to be with you but the best photos they came away with were of your back.

It took a whole day to come up with an explanation that is other than what is immediately apparent. It seems this person was not very joyful and was probably pretty bad at conversation. You were being kind by including them, but...

Don't be so afraid of awkward silences. Avoiding contact over them is more transparent than you think it is. I hope that isn't what happened. If awkward silence bothers you that much, though, you've got a choice. Realistically describe these relationships or avoid describing them at all. A small amount of embellishment is wonderful validation, but unrealistic praise is not kind. If you seek fun and validation and easy conversation and don't get it, your friend knows it. It's a pretty bad feeling to begin with, but then to describe these relationships as they are not, fools nobody. It amounts to teasing.

I know you are trying to be kind. The balance of honesty vs validation isn't something I'm very good with, either!



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15 Dec 2021, 4:25 am

This is kinda clever, and it makes me chuckle. It shouldn't, because it's kinda demeaning.

I have a friend who refuses to talk to me on the phone. They talk to other people on the phone, and on some level they must know I find this demeaning, because they've done one (ONE) demonstration of willingness to talk on the phone. They called me. Once. Both times I've called them have ended badly, but we've had one phone conversation in all the time I've known them. It was a demonstration of willingness, as far as I can tell.

Well, they must have some sense that they can't milk that call forever. Recently they asked if I'd be willing to have a phone conversation to discuss something in particular. This is unnecessary, because I've told them at least three times I'd like to talk and they are welcome to call me any time. It is also unlikely, because they know more about this topic than I do, and the work for which they will apply the knowledge we would theoretically discuss is already done. But let's take it at face value that they actually want to have this conversation. What else is accomplished by discussing this hypothetical phone call?

It demonstrates a willingness to talk on the phone without actually having to talk on the phone.

Very clever. LOL.

This seems like something a therapist would suggest you do to have your cake and eat it, too.



Edna3362
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15 Dec 2021, 11:17 am

Herbs.

Just herbs.


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TenMinutes
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15 Dec 2021, 3:22 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
Herbs.

Just herbs.


My mind is made of...



HeroOfHyrule
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15 Dec 2021, 3:27 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I really can't cope.

I can't do this anymore.

Someone please help.

I hope you are safe and that you are doing better today. :( :heart: I'm not great at talking, but if you ever need to vent or chat about anything my DMs are open and I'm eager to listen.



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15 Dec 2021, 3:28 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
Herbs.

Just herbs.

What kind of herbs? :scratch:



Edna3362
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15 Dec 2021, 3:32 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
Herbs.

Just herbs.

What kind of herbs? :scratch:

Basil.
Image


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TenMinutes
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16 Dec 2021, 9:29 am

Image

I'm autistic, not stupid. I'm not oblivious.

If you refuse to talk to me, I'm going to wonder why. I'm not un-curious. You can't pretend we're friends while you shun me. Eventually I'm going to have had enough of that.

NOT STUPID

At this point I don't want another denial, and I don't want a pledge to do better. I want an explanation. You've left it to me to come up with my own, and I haven't come up with anything remotely flattering.

Your turn.

Tell me what the hell this is or get the hell out.



blitzkrieg
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16 Dec 2021, 10:41 am

TenMinutes wrote:
Image

I'm autistic, not stupid. I'm not oblivious.

If you refuse to talk to me, I'm going to wonder why. I'm not un-curious. You can't pretend we're friends while you shun me. Eventually I'm going to have had enough of that.

NOT STUPID

At this point I don't want another denial, and I don't want a pledge to do better. I want an explanation. You've left it to me to come up with my own, and I haven't come up with anything remotely flattering.

Your turn.

Tell me what the hell this is or get the hell out.


Nobody owes you an explanation, unless they are doing something criminal, i.e, defamation/libel in which case they need to stop doing that and shouldn't be mad when you question them about their actions. If someone has committed a crime against you it's perfectly normal to want to balance the scales of justice.

Also, your last sentence sounds angry, please don't do that.

Edit: When you start telling the truth about an event in a transparent way, you are free.



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16 Dec 2021, 11:32 am

The angry is to get it out of my system before I have to deal with this person again.



Edna3362
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16 Dec 2021, 11:34 am

Lemon biscuits!


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TenMinutes
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16 Dec 2021, 9:36 pm

TenMinutes wrote:
It demonstrates a willingness to talk on the phone without actually having to talk on the phone.

Very clever. LOL.

This seems like something a therapist would suggest you do to have your cake and eat it, too.


Actually, the way I see it going down is this...

Therapist (or a friend) suggests, as a way of talking to awkward autistic friend, that you have something specific to discuss, so you have a topic around which you can build a conversation, and when you are done discussing the topic, you have a convenient conversation break point.

But my friend, fretting the conversation even more than they are letting on, optimize it even further...

By simply discussing the desire to have the conversation, they've demonstrated a willingness to do so, and therefore don't actually have to have the conversation!

lol



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17 Dec 2021, 2:14 am

I have mixed feelings about turning 21 in a couple months.