nick007 wrote:
My mom b!tching at me because I don't want to help her move boxes to pick xMas stuff up because I hurt my arm Sunday when I fell off a cr@ppy step-stool she insist on using & having the good 1s picked-up. She's gripping about how she's been going to physical therapy because her back has been hurting her yet she still manages to do stuff; I'm soo weak & helpless that she will have to have me euthanized when she dies. She brings the work on herself because she is the only one in the house who cares about how it's decorated & she was in physical therapy when she put the xMas stuff out this year. She should not of decorated if her back was hurting her as much as she claims. She says I'm lazy but I helped her put the stuff out when she asked me to. The reason I'm not helping her pick it up is because I want my arm to heal so I don't need to go to physical therapy like her because she keeps aggravating injuries. She sometimes rants about how I'm difficult to live with & cant get along with anyone but she's difficult to live with too & she does not make it easy for me to get along with her sometimes. She complains about me being dependent & having no self-esteem but her making hateful comments towards me like me being euthanized is only making those issues worse for me. I'm going to bed now & i really should of gone to bed an hour early because she would of asked my dad to help or just done it herself instead.
I didn't get any sleep but I slept some earlier last night. Went lay in bed around 11 & slept lightly till about 3am. I woke up a few times for a bit & wasn't sleeping hard but I think I got a couple hours & that is not uncommon for me lately.
I ordered an OCD medication in the middle of December that came in the mail today;
Anafranil. I've been having issues with OCD most of my life & after my anxiety getting a little better because of Buspar; I realized that my OCD & my anxiety are kind of connected/linked together & kind of play off each other. Anafranil is specifically for OCD & being tired & sleeping more are very common side-effects so I'm hoping that may help me sleep a little better. I'll take a pill tonight when I eat a late night snack & plan to the next couple nights & then evaluate & I'll start taking a pill during the day to if there's no major problems. I'll increase from that after a while if I feel I need to but a slight help would be good for now.
Me & my mom are kewl now. She was fine a few hours latter when I talked to her. She has moments where she gets upset which I guess I should sympathies with because I do have my Aspie meltdowns; lots of em are related to or involve her. We went to my grandparents & I moped their floor & mom was happy I did that & offered to stop at Burger King on the way home for me