What's on your mind right now?

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I can feel time leaving my body.

The drains are frozen over here which means water cannot leave.

Light did woke me better than sounds did. Earlier, too.
I only slept for 5 hours with an intent to oversleep since it's a holiday...
Yesterday had me sleep for over 10 hours and still a bit groggy.

But the sun isn't bright enough through my curtains and my window's angle.
So I'll test this phone and see if a light alarm app is sustainable and doable. With a fail safe from waking up a bit late by doing the 'usual'.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Prayers for my auntie Catherine.

Some days I wonder how I even survive another day of madness?

I'm in this... Directionless state that I don't want to do anything.
Not even sleep. Too full to eat. Too lazy to go out. I received enough and somewhat satisfied but...

Something just feels empty. And cold. Literally more or less because it is. But still...

Maybe I'll invest a few comforts here and there...
Or thought of things to try. Or to try again. Except in a painfully boring way to do so that it felt like a chore.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I don't know why, but I assumed you knew each other a long time. Childhood best friends. It made the whole thing difficult to understand. Why would they do that to a long time friend? But it seems your experience was more like mine than I thought. About a year in length, right?

You know the people you hang with at school are hanging with each other after school. They text each other and call each other and go places together. Hanging with them at school is much better than nothing, and sometimes you even see them after school. As a group. You think you were invited because your presence gave them no choice. You don't really feel a part of their groups. And you're not talking to them one-on-one. Ever.

And then one of them actually seems like a friend. A couple grand, friendly gestures, even. REALLY grand. Lots of love language. You can text them any time. Call...not so much. And you know they're texting all day long, but yours...have to wait. Friendly...sometimes. Sometimes it feels like teasing.

And then...poof, they're gone. You haven't had a conversation in months. Answers to texts need a second prompting. Or are startlingly terse. Still...love language. And ghosting. How can you get both from the same person?

You wanted them to know you've noticed, but you haven't said anything. The best you can do is mostly ignore them on social media. They've done the same. So, you had little reason to believe they'd check in on you while they were in town, but you were profoundly disappointed that they didn't.

AmIright?

Health, $$, social,. Emotion, academic, occupational, could have been better or worse


But I am so glad it's over

current goal: Graceful degradation

On the other hand, bad things happen sometime and maybe my "life" will rapidly get a lot worse and I will get hit by a car and raped and a civil lawsuit and sent to jail

Since 12, been wanting to commit suicide s**t

Covid-19 progress journal: Day 3

Still have a stuffy nose and sore throat, but otherwise feeling better than before. Don't think I'm feeling well enough to go to any Christmas parties today, though.

I'm gonna have to read that damned list again. Did I get any of it wrong?

I wished my cousin a Merry Christmas and he laughed at me. Most honest thing that will happen today

i'm assimilating nutrients and digesting.

I have a weird to-do list today. I don't really want to blow dry that pipe. I'm not fond of standing on the washer and sticking my head up in the basement rafters. Ah, the joys of cold weather.

Do most other families visiting during the holidays really get into heated, physically violent arguments over politics, religion, or vaccines? Fort as long as I can remember my own family members never really even mention such things whenever we get together, let alone argue about them. I think 95% of the conversation that I remember when I was with my mother, my aunt and uncle and my cousin last night was about the Japanese strawberry shortcake my aunt, who is from Japan, made for dessert. It was really good, too. We didn't have her traditional KFC, however.