What's on your mind right now?

Post Reply New Topic

The disdain that I have for people and their rudeness. The next person to be rude to me can shove it where the sun don't shine.

My little autistic cousin smiled and waved at me when I said hello to her, instead of just shyly hiding behind her mom and staring at me. That made me feel nice that she's getting more comfortable around me because she's really shy.

Ice Spice

https://youtu.be/R5XJDxe7TVY

What I got what is basically a seedless orange.
Seeds not large enough to be bothered, basically not larger than a literal dot.

And that there's nothing left except the peels.

I wonder what navel oranges would taste like...

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

It's summer season.

And...
It's barely started.

With how my body is currently reacting to dehydration after waking up?
I'm not sure. Honestly, this is different from last year.

It's bad enough that it gave me multiple leg cramps, waking me last night and not letting me go back to sleep, that lasted twice as long than usual.
Until I drank like about 2-3 glass worth of water.

Now I woke up with really stiff fingers.
This doesn't happen often and that badly.
This somewhat worries me. And it's only been 2 hours.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Alseep

pirates

been watching caleb hammer's "financial audit" videos. some of the people that caleb roasts, are much better, in some ways, with their cash, than i was when i was their age. for example, carlos, 20, said he was a security guard for 2 years and got promoted, and worked doordash and worked for his mom's business. while i am now 40 years old, and the longest job i have had thus far: two years, 5 months and counting. and i have never worked more than one paying job @ a time. and never worked a full time job for over one week. and caleb's clients often sound so linguistically eloquent with verbal gymnastics, even the clients that claimed that high school was their highest form of education. on the other hand, my situation would not be good for caleb's performance, b/c plenty of people only earn minimum wage. and i ain't got no debts, and i ain't wasting too much cash on jack s**t, except grub. and that's a no brainer. caleb could tell me how to invest cash in real estate and the stock market, but that's the same advice for everyone, and not that fascinating and not getting him subscribers or followers or "likes".
_____________________________________________________________________________________

emotional overeating

three weeks ago, one time, after trying and failing to fall asleep, i get up and eat the next day's breakfast.

once in a while, after falling asleep, i wake up in the middle of the night and eat breakfast and go back to bed. usually 8 pieces of bread, 2 servings milk/meat, and 2 servings of fruit/veg. and then go back to sleep.

been eating 8 pieces of bread, 2 servings milk/meat, and 2 servings fruit/veg for breakfast, instead of the usual (4, 2, 2).

been eating 4 pieces of bread over the first break @ work.

carbohydrates cause exhaustion and brainfog.

bad habits have to change.
__________________________________________________________________________

40 years old, and over the hill. with age, health can and will only get much worse. since working @ home depot the past two and a half years, physical strength has rapidly plummetted already. 60 year old tracie (about my height/weight) easily lifted a couple bags of 50 pound concrete. two weeks ago, during an appointment, an occupational therapist told me to not lift over 50 pounds at work. at work, plenty of things are much heavier than 50 pounds. concrete: 60, 80, 94lb. wine cooler: 123#. barbeque 228#. cabinet: 567#. on the other hand, i find it hard to imagine anyone in the building could lift the cabinet, and even if they could, the cabinet is too large and you have to lift it too high. (not just deadlift). and no matter how much anyone can lift, they are not getting a pay raise or promotion or anything like that. you get paid by the hour, minimum wage. but i would rather be stronger than weaker, because then i would not have to go around begging lazy annoying lil dipshits to please come help me load a tool. annoying lil dipshits keep complaining or refusing to help me load tools and other heavy merchandise. besides, i am autistic and would rather not go around begging lil dipshits for loading assistance.


_______________________________________________________________________
sometimes, picking at food in an OCD manner.

been exhausted lately.

sometimes, try and fail bowel movements.

bowel movements usually take 15 to 30 minutes of straining. even with Miralax.
________________________________________________________________________________


even in april, hands and feet often feel frozen. 40 years old. it's getting worse with age. paranoid i will not be able to continue working much longer. and maybe government benefits will reject my worthless corpse.

impending financial collapse

there's no good reason to continue living and nothing to strive for.
____________________________________________________________________________________

self righteous lil dipshits, homophobic or otherwise, from the past, will never apologize the f**k up.

five weeks ago, the xray showed a "large amount of retained stool" and the doctor prescribed glycolax. defecations seem to have gotten better lately. zero side effects noticed thus far. maybe the side effects are long term and coming next week.

there's something wrong with everything, s**t.

the report said "no bowel obstruction". googled "bowel obstruction". life expectancy: one or two months. but there is nothing left to strive for. academically dismissed from school. made redundant from all jobs. evicted. dumped by all "friends". what the f**k ever s**t. zero emotional resilience left.

I tried black raspberries for the first time. I didn't like 'em. They had a very dark flavor like if burnt charred meat had a fruit flavor, that would be it.

What to eat for a snack, even though it's a little late to be having one.

If a pregnant woman goes swimming is she a human submarine?

Do vegans breastfeed?

^^ Isn't the sprog already in a submersible before the mom goes swimming

@Rals

Open the door!
I'm locked out again.