What's on your mind right now?

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You know a book is good when you have to put it down and giddily freak out for a moment only to pick it back up. Can't believe I'm already halfway through. It's just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

*Ahem* That is all.

People assumed when I said I want a check up meant "I'm worried that I'm sick or dying".

I'm not worried.

I'm frustrated.

Frustrated that I couldn't take it anymore.
I never complained or questioned any sensations for years because it is assumed that everyone gets discomforts and sometimes gets tired.

As much as I'm active and trying to be healthier...
Then WHY am I still NOT improving?!
Not simply aging, but it's been like this since aged 16.

I'm just fricking, fricking frustrated by the lack of progress. I just want to know what the f--- is holding me back so I could just get on with it.

And the reason why I'm keeping autism out of this is because of stupid biases that human ignorance would do with that knowledge.

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I dont understand why people are so unkind to each other. It's so unnecessary.

I've been looking at a variety of things that I can buy off Amazon when I'm working and making my own money. I've been looking at bed frames, funky Canada and Germany pajamas, Iron Cross broaches and when the guilt set in, I was looking for hats with sprouts coming out of the top. The Iron Cross would make me happy, but I want the world to see a Sweet Pea.

I feel like a left-over something from an earlier time. I look at the Mods and hippies and I think my mum would love me better if I just went back to being a Mod or became a hippie.

One of the staff at the clubhouse has also mentioned that it might be time to give up the helmet if I was going to have a job. I have a straw hat that looks like a helmet and there's nothing more in the world that I want than an Iron Cross to pin onto that hat. Something masculine to pin on it, so giving up the self-made helmet won't be so hard. Tears are coming out of my eyes. I won't cry because I'm at my parent's place.

I think if I were going to use any mosquito repellent, I should be using something milder...

It seems that regular off lotion causes my skin to react. Like it burns a bit.
And I've only spread and applied it really thinly so I could save some.

This hasn't happened before.
And it's not like I've been using this product that often.

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Secret gardens where all the Sweet Peas live.

I'm not sure if I've received the greatest compliment of my life, if I was gaslit, or if I'm in love.

I should leave the house more often but I've no idea what to do with myself.

Sometimes life feels like a curse

Experiencing intense She-Ra 2018 brainrot. best show ever. ticks all four of my boxes for a good piece of media;
1. Sci-Fi
2. Fantasy
3. LGBT+
4. Neurodivergence

if a media has two or more of these things, I will probably love it.

If stuff drops down another night again, I will use a mouse trap.
I could care less. It's been a week it's disruptive at night and it already broken some stuff.

The culprit is a rat that's at least half a foot long and as thick as a typical liter bottle.

Like many things in my life, I want it gone.

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is it an autism thing to be terrible at opening things and putting on gloves?