What's on your mind right now?

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I had an interesting conversation with my dad the other day. A few of those things are lodged in my brain. One of those things being a cousin of mine. My dad was telling me how her son is currently in the process of getting an autism dx and in this process, my cousin (his mother) is also getting one. This stuff runs in both sides of my family something fierce.

The other part of that talk is something I need more time to process. I'm not sure how I feel about it beyond feeling as though someone dropped a metaphorical anvil on my head.

They have a dog so the plate licking wouldn’t work.I even tried vacuuming right by where they were sleeping, turned music up loud and started banging dishes around.They slept thru it all.So I finally yelled and told them to leave or I’d call the cops.That was because they said they wouldn’t leave till tomorrow.They packed up pretty quick and now I have my house back.
Toilet still stopped up .ugh

I ate too many KFC chicken tenders and now I feel sick. Crap.

I want to put together a still. That will increase my redneck street cred by at least 500 points.

^ abbreviation for distillery - moonshine ?

I called in to work because my hernia hurts so bad. Oof.

Reflecting over life, unhappy and disappointed.
Seems like whatever direction I choose I end up in the wrong place, but I don't know any other way.

Is life like this for everyone?

^ Seeing as when I reflect I usually only reflect on the bad things, bad decisions etc (such is the autistic/adhd brain) I sort of feel the same as I focused on the negatives.

Currently, I feel I am in the right place but in the wrong time if that makes sense.

I just love getting supermarket gift vouchers.

Even though I've earned the money to buy them it just somehow feels like I'm getting free food.

Sometimes when I'm typing here I don't always know how people are going to take it, as I sometimes find it hard to explain things in ways where it will please every group of people. It's easier offline because I can use tone of voice, facial expressions and body gestures to get my view across and people cotton on and understand where I'm coming from or that I'm not being offensive. But online it's harder because as I'm writing something I'm saying it in my head with a certain tone of voice and other non-verbal nuances but what I actually write in words could be interpreted in different ways or can just be offensive to some but not to others.
Sometimes I even look at a sentence myself and if I focus enough I can see how it might be offensive but not be offensive at the same time, a bit like the dancer optical illusion where a dancer is spinning around and you either notice it going round left, or right, or even both (it turns one way then when you make your brain aware that it can be interpreted as either way then you may suddenly notice it turn the other way).
Oh, I quite like that analogy.

So if I was talking face to face to some of the people on WP who have been through traumatic times, I'd probably be more confident in saying soothing, supporting things, by using gestures like putting my hand on their shoulder sympathetically when expressing something that might be a little triggering, and I can say it more carefully. Sometimes when talking to people I use words like "you know" but in different tones of voice, and people seem to get that more than word salads or info-dumping. When typing on an internet forum there's no non-verbal cues really so everything is in words instead and sometimes words can come across as insensitive when really the person typing them can mean the opposite, especially if the person doesn't have a very wide vocabulary.

As I always say, it's not what you say but how you say it. It's easier to misinterpret people online than it is in real life. I have no problems with empathy in real life (as in picking up on and using non-verbal social cues appropriately), which is what empathy more or less is.

It’s generally a bad idea to use physical touch with people who have PTSD unless you are sure that they are comfortable with it first. That could certainly trigger some people, myself included, especially if they aren’t expecting it.

I don’t think that misinterpretation is typically the issue on WP. It’s more about having different perspectives. I’m usually too polite to tell someone I disagree with them offline but am more likely to do so online.

It’s easier for me to communicate online. I have more time to formulate a response and to choose precise wording that conveys meaning in an intentional way. It’s harder to be as precise in a face-to-face conversation.

Usually people touch me on the shoulder when they're showing support, even though it's not for everyone. I don't mind being touched though, within reason of course.

I'm the sort of person who prefers non-precise language to communicate and understand one another. It's why I often question my diagnosis.

But yes I suppose I do say more things here than I do offline to most people, because here I'm anonymous and have talked about things that I'd feel too embarrassed to talk to most people about, like bowel movements, and autism. I think most people all over the world speak their minds more online if they know they're anonymous. Social rules can vary when it comes to online. For example, when people criticise about showing pictures of their dinner on Facebook and go "you wouldn't go up to someone and show a printed photo of your dinner, would you?", and they're right, most of us wouldn't, but posting pictures like that on social media just feels more socially acceptable I suppose. It's just the unwritten rules of communication. They don't always make sense but the trick is to understand them anyway rather than try to question them.