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Central Banks don’t control the world but they control the 5th dimension though.


What happens to monkeys who are left outside too long in 100 degree weather?

100 degrees? If 100 Kelvins, they will freeze solid. If Celsius their blood will boil.

Where do kangaroos live?

In the middle layers of your skin. They're parasites.

Should we make a movie based on this thread?

No, they've already made the zombie apocalypse.

What should I do in the event of a zombie approaching me?

Perform Vulcan mind meld.

What's worth seeing on Netflix nowadays?

Repeats of last years repeats of the rerun of the serial you watched five years ago.

Why do I still have a TV?

Because digital divorce is too expensive.

Why does the UK have TV licences?

Because TVs in the UK can fly, shoot, become a submarine, and explode.
One must need series of intensive training and pass professional level tests to obtain a TV license.



What's an alternative for clocks?

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Thermometers.

What happens when it's 11:11?

It never happens so why worry?

Is there life on Mars?

Yes, my Mars bar was quite mouldy, mind you I'd had it for a couple of years.

Is there life on Earth?

There used to be... before that horrible Oxygen Catastrophe. It wiped it all out.

Are angels and demons real?

I just asked my demon and he says, no he isn't real.

What will follow this rain?

A network of Soviet spies - and one genuine Instagram follower.

What's the best use of cardboard boxes?

Substitute for outhouses.


Where and what's the storm that is approaching?

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Nuclear Armageddon.

Why is there a fly in my soup?