What are you annoyed about?

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I agree 100 percent, Skilpadde!

Today at the pet store some older ladies came to where they had cats for sale and started tapping loudly on the glass. I had the absolute nerve to say "You're not supposed to do that", and they went "Yeah we know," and went right back to tapping.

When people tap on the glass, it hurts the animal's ears and stresses them out. And I've yet to see a cat come right over when someone tapped to get their attention.

a stranger had the nerve to call me a "girlboy". (trans). actually, i am not completely confident she was talking about/to me, or that she said "girlboy". oh well. whatever. that's about as much homophobia as has affected me, for half a year. where i live, it is pretty diverse. it was nothing that i could not just ignore. or something. ("pick your battles").

things taste weird. barely ate the chocolate off a peanut butter Twix. and it was like *sugar overload*.

exhausted. fell asleep early.

monday aikido is by rsvp. so the instructor does not tell me, until 9am, if there will be a lesson at 12 noon. anxiety central. one particular woman told me "aikido is my favorite thing", but when it's raining, even the slightest bit, she (and nobody else) bothers to rsvp. if it's a holiday, the instructor is sick, the instructor is out of town, or it is raining, aikido is cancelled. over the december holidays, aikido got cancelled 6 weeks consecutively.

and i am bad at aikido, relative to how long i have gone.

constantly afraid of getting injured at aikido.

socially awkward

mens/womens changing rooms/locker rooms



feel like addicted to candy. twix, kit kat, reeses

"life" going nowhere. can never self actualize



Chronos:

already told several separate doctors. they all dismissed my complaints.

There are so many microaggressions flying around...

They are almost impossible to zap----they are so numerous!

Regular everyday noise sounds way too loud

There's nobody to hang out with

life is meaningless

What is the point of anything

When I do or say something someone doesn't like, they say why , like there is a correct answer and my answer was wrong. But there is no correct answer, according to them

When someone comments on my appearance

Precious lil people talking too loudly. Give me a headache. They are paucity of content . Afraid to ask them to be quiet because they might get louder. Big egoes. They act like every time they have a thought or idea it is the latest greatest scientific invention


Then when I say something, they half listen and grunt huh and what like that is the etiquette equivalent of excuse me


I am 35 years old and have no spouse, boyfriend, children, job, graduate degree, meaning, purpose or direction. No precious lil friends

Without modesty, I am seriously not good at anything

Rapidly getting dissociated, physically weaker, more tired, hateful, angry, suppressed

My precious lil parents made me take the SAT in seventh grade. Between third and seventh grades they make me memorize ten to twenty SAT words a day, in the summer. And ten to twenty SAT words a week in the school year

No extracurricular activities

Apathetic

The former aikido instructor asked if I had a high school diploma and if I know what a ninety degree angle is



The former aikido instructor is a structural engineer

Fourth undergrad year I flunked structural engineering

Hey I flunked Solid Mechanics two. I did not flunked twelvth grade. I flunked Vector Analysis. I did not flunked fourth grade math

But, pick your battles

And there is something wrong with everything

The current counselor told me that some of the symptoms of brain damage overlap with clinical depression




Maybe I would be more functional if I put less emphasis on formal education

Theory of multiple intelligences


Apparently I appear much less educated than I am






Even in the best case scenario, every day I want to gorge

Sometimes I give in


I am bored of everything and everyone including myself






Chronos

What if the doctor refuses the demand

There are not too many doctors that the insurance provides for that I could pick from


At the medical clinic, sometimes there is just one doctor on duty. The clinic doesn't know which doctor is coming.

I saw my nemesis in Army & Navy this afternoon. I saw a glimpse of him and I started walking to the other end of the store very quickly before he could see me. The old man who's so angry that his face is red. I stood up to him on Monday and I have nothing left to say to him. Some seniours can be worse than teenagers.

Annoyed that “friends” have no loyalty! Also annoyed that people change whilst I remain the same.

I feel something like a Benjamin button. It’s like, once you get past the tragedy of the disconnect, it’s really just inconvenient and annoying!! !! !! !

when someone tries to sell drugs or cigarettes to me. panhandlers.

when precious lil "people" say "that's disrespectful". but you can't measure respect. they just define "disrespectful" as anything they do not like.

off leash dogs

impatient drivers

precious lil "people" making statements that sound innocent. but are totally arrogant. for example, "you make people uncomfortable with the way you dress!". (crossdressing, san diego 2006. san diego was so homophobic). that statement is literally correct. however it implies that nobody else makes anyone else uncomfortable with the way they dress. "people" literally means two or more. out of eight billion. everyone makes "people" uncomfortable with the way they dress.

you are either: comfortable, neither, or uncomfortable. you can't guarantee, just the first two.

"we would rather not have you doing yoga. it's distracting".

everything and everyone is either: grounding, neither or distracting. you can't guarantee just the first two.

how about, we would rather not have you continue living . it's distracting?


in 35 years, more than two people found it "distracting", when i continued living. then what? s**t.



more than two people found it "distracting" when trump is president. so what

Last night I saw a size comparison video of Disney characters and was "wow cool!", until I saw that Chip and Dale were measured at around three feet tall while Donald Duck was only slightly taller.

Has the creator of the video even seen the cartoons that have Donald Chip, and Dale together? Donald is clearly much bigger, while Chip and Dale are about the size of *real* chipmunks!

I checked again today and it looks they corrected it, however.

When people treat me like a "special snowflake" who is so beautiful and sooo intelligent and "fall in love" and weren't there when i was suicidal. I'm sorry but go shove your pathetic "love" somewhere i won't mention.
Stupid people who don't know what real devotion means.

Some riffraff had the nerve to say "she got ass", when I was walking past

"Hey hey", he flirted

And I just ignored him. As usual I was a coward. But sometimes cowardice is the most practical method because you do not know who has been convicted of rape or is brandishing a gun.

As usual I was presenting as male. Gender Identity disorder

But, crossdressing or not, only several times in my "life", has anyone flirted with me



When I am in the bathroom in my petri dish (and outside), sometimes someone banfs impatiently on the door. Entitled. As if they should never have to wait





No matter what I eat, I can't lose enough weight. Plenty of Chinese women my age eat a lot more than me and are much skinnier

My brain won't concentrate on anything

When someone says or does something disturbing, I am emotionally fragile