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She heard there was good music on The Dark Side of the Moon.

Why does glass brake?

Glass tends to "brake" when it is going too fast and is in risk of collision. If it doesn't "brake" hard enough then it collides, typically with the floor where it tends to "break".

Why does the moon shine at night?

The moon is a giant lighthouse in the sky. There's even a man living inside who operates it.

What should we do with the drunken sailor, early in the morning?

Bury him raw in a radish patch alive, preferably with a pulse and breathing


Who would replace cherries on top of confectioneries with cherry tomatoes?!

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Paula Dean

Would you like to be a dog for a day?

Yes, I'd like to be Barney Bear for a day barking at officer Dibble.

Why do dogs chase postmen / postwomen?

Because APAB

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Because he writes rock n roll and becomes very kinky.

Why couldn't I watch Call The Midwife yesterday?

Because that's when alien invaders hijacked all the TV stations to deliver an ultimatum to the people of Earth.

Which is prettier, a spider or a slug?

A banana.

Why is the sky blue?

It isn't, it's red. You must be colour-blind.

Why is grass brown?

I never knew the grass was blue

Why do people like to get drunk?

It’s good for their livers.

What should I do tomorrow?

Nothing that you can't put off until the day after.

Where is my delivery, it's already a day late?

Not really.
You went backwards in time.
You're a day too early.


What's in a box full of boxes?

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An infinite regression resulting in a box that opens in another dimension inhabited by sentient boxes.

Why is there a cloud outside my window that looks like a huge flying saucer?