What's on your mind right now?

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A need to find a comic book or a graphic novel that is poorly made before tomorrow.

I already bought one that is great.

Had some chocolates after a while.
Brownies I hadn't ate, chocolate drink I hadn't tasted a while...

Gut reacted a bit badly than usual that night.

Sigh.

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There's a staff worker at my clubhouse and I think that she's trying to make me hate myself so that I will change my ways. There are lots of cool things that everybody else can enjoy like electric scooters and electric bikes. I wish I had something cool that I could enjoy.

I feel climate change is caused by cars and other gasoline engines (mowers for example plus numerous others) and industrialization. Nobody is to blame and the problem must be addressed. For one candidate for the POTUS to deny (Trump) a problem even exists is mind boggling.

Philomena Cunk is a great character.

I saw Halleys comet when I was 6 at the start of my life. I remember thinking at the time that I'd be an old man if I ever saw it again (81 years old). I hope I get there. That'd be a nice way to bookend a life.

I went home yesterday, to where I lived when I was growing up, and wandered around a bit. But it felt wrong because it was cloudy and damp yesterday, and when I recall those places in my memories it's always sunny and warm. It's almost as if the brightness of the sun burns those memories into your mind stronger.

I've got to phone the clubhouse and apologize for causing a scene yesterday.

A weird thought or dream in my head.
A sudden tragic end that seem to parallel said thought or dream.

It's fricking creepy.

If I didn't knew any better, I might as well thought that I unintentionally cursed someone into an early death.


And without context, and sprinkled with a little bit of woo-woo, it can looked like that I'm a witch who killed what's basically a helpless toddler with a thought...


... Except said little boy isn't meant to live long unless a miracle happened.
One with a very complex medical needs that one is not meant to be born and live for very long, regardless of how well off the family.

And that information or conclusion isn't even coming from me, that's coming from professionals who worked with him.
And I only found out about some of it just recently -- like yesterday.



If I looked the other way around...

If I didn't knew any better, I might as well thought I'm a clairvoyant who predicted someone's death before the news reached to me.

Lol I wish.
I don't even know this family.
I don't even work closely or be involved in them other than random passing.


Still, it's creepy.
Really sad, but just creepy.

Eh.

Might as well forget all of this in another week or so.

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haven't eaten chocolate since august 2022. cravings gone haywire s**t. four year work anniversary on tuesday. planning to eat chocolate soon thereafter. "life" has gone sideways, s**t. @ 12, thought by 41, STEM job, married, children, boston marathon. 41. nothing accomplished. s**t. exhausted all the time and it is just going to get worse with time. precious lil "people" get on my f*****g nerves, but they are just being themselves and doing their best. afraid of dogs. minimum wage part time job. constantly afraid and worried of getting made redundant. s**t. always been single. five bowel movements a day, feel like heart attack.

Over scheduled enough that I've been a little too busy this week as soon as I was well enough.

Bad enough that I've been yawning for few days now.


Really not meant for full time work.

If only I can tell everyone that they can all have me past lunch time -- or even up to midnight.

That to me, working at mornings are off limits; else I'd be a really irritated liability all day long that my presence will be an unwanted ticking bomb like all those damn years.

And those damn years gave me stupid habits at work and everything that mattered on daily basis, stupid processes that supposedly an attempt to compensate only for it to make things worse...
Just like fricking 'coping' distorted so much of my time sense and estimation, so much of how productive I will be or make right decisions, how well I'd communicate, how large the scope of awareness and control over focus I can maintain, etc.

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I'm feeling a lot better than I did yesterday.

Seeing my grandparents tonight, which will be stressful but hopefully also fun.

Woke Sarah says I'm more than my love for Germany. I'm not sure about that. The level of my autism makes me even more obsessive than most of members of my WP family.

Flights to Japan would be super cheap in December! I could afford it, should I go? Should I go and spend my 30th birthday in Japan?! I kinda really, really want to. Was planning to go in October next year but now that I've seen what the prices are now... I could get a week off from work, so it wouldn't be a long trip, but but but... I wanna go!

I'm gonna have a lie in tomorrow and I don't care what anyone says