Oh wow, doesn't sound too pleasant. Hopefully you find the source.
I've spent the day in thought. Same old introspection, that yields nothing.
Err, whoops didn't realize there were other posts already. All my socks are white.
Same q.
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 91 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 107 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits