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IsabellaLinton
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12 Dec 2022, 11:17 am

I keep mine under my mask.
Strangers get filled with helium so they can float to the sky and block sunshine.
No one looks up there.


Does your cat speak Polish?


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magz
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12 Dec 2022, 11:24 am

Yes, but she's really boring. She can't stop analysing corelations between various Bronze Age cultures and spread of ancient languages.

Give me a reason to have children.


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IsabellaLinton
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12 Dec 2022, 11:28 am

You mean, for supper?
They're nice with sweet chilli Thai dipping sauce.

Give me a reason to figure out how much money my mother owes me for doing her Christmas shopping?


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Radish
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12 Dec 2022, 12:54 pm

Just tell her that it came to $578 but as you're in a good mood you'll let her off with $400.

Why do people light candles at Christmas?


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magz
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12 Dec 2022, 1:09 pm

For the help that never came.


How often should I take a shower?


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Radish
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12 Dec 2022, 1:14 pm

Save water and energy, don't shower. Take a swim in an ice lake occasionally to keep fresh.

How often to eat?


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magz
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12 Dec 2022, 1:24 pm

Continuously, never stopping, even when asleep.

Where should I move?


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IsabellaLinton
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12 Dec 2022, 1:27 pm

Radish wrote:
Just tell her that it came to $578 but as you're in a good mood you'll let her off with $400.


Honestly, it's more like about $2500. I might let her off with $3000. I'm about to do the maths.



Everywhere: Blink your eyes, wiggle your toes, have a whole-body workout.


Why are my glutes so sore?


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magz
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12 Dec 2022, 1:43 pm

You glued yourself to a famous painting again!

What can I use instead of glue?


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IsabellaLinton
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12 Dec 2022, 1:45 pm

For sniffing? Try crystal meth.

What is tofu made of?


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magz
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12 Dec 2022, 1:55 pm

Radish.

What is borscht made of?


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IsabellaLinton
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12 Dec 2022, 2:00 pm

Borat

What would you change about your partner if you had a magic wand?


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magz
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12 Dec 2022, 2:12 pm

I'd change a partner for a new one every 0.01s.

How do musical instruments make sound?


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kraftiekortie
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12 Dec 2022, 2:15 pm

Stop blowing your own horn! :P

If a tree fell down in Siberia, and you don't hear it, did it fall down?



IsabellaLinton
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12 Dec 2022, 2:31 pm

Stop discriminating against the deaf community. ^


Why are ears so weirdly shaped?


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kraftiekortie
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12 Dec 2022, 2:40 pm

Because the genes felt like it!

Do you know somebody named Gene?