Wrong Answers Only

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The one that's already cut up.

Why is EVERYTHING such a darn puzzle????

The solution is to solve the Fermi paradox while standing on your head doing the Rubixs cube. Alternatively just look in the back of the book for the answer.

Why is YouTube so terrible if you don't block ads?

Because it’s always THEIRTube.

Ever been derailed on the Tube?

Yes, I was living in a normal sort of world then my tube derailed, went through a worm hole and landed me in this bizarre reality where Donald Trump was the president, a pandemic was ravaging the world and the price of peanuts had gone up astronomically.

Who should be the next world leader or don't you have one in this reality?

The God Emperor of Mankind (praise be to his name) already rules over all of humanity. He shall help us wipe out those dirty xenos and plague-ridden orks once and for all!

Why are thier zombies on my front lawn?

That's odd! The zombie apocalypse doesn't start until next week. I suggest you go outside and remonstrate with them.

Why does my dog chase cats?

They want a little chat*.

What would cure my daughter's stomachache?
_______
* in French

A new puppy or kitten.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

All the seashells she sells down by the seaside



How’s your bod?

This is my ninth sick day this semester. It's pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, I'm probably going to have to barf up a lung, so I better make this one count.

Do you have a kiss for daddy?

Mmmmm Yes, that’s how it is in our family…


same q

If by that, meaning a kiss from a deadly cobra then yes.

How do you get out of yourself?

Morphine

How do you get into yourself?

With the zipper at the back.

same q

Wooden toys


Why do sheep baaaa?

So blind farmers can tell them apart from cows.

Why do people eat cows?