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Excuse me.. does this haircut make me look gay?

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03 Aug 2016, 3:47 am

auntblabby wrote:
I will admit that I find that to be a depressing thing to me, I mean why can't two people as a couple, be equal? like two peas in a pod? I suppose that is a naïve overexpectation of human nature. if I was in a relationship i'd want somebody a lot like myself, I cannot be the only one with that expectation.

you're not

anagram wrote:
ideally i would find someone very similar to that friend who's essentially-married. but... it would have to be someone who, unlike her, doesn't want to have kids ever, and who, unlike my ex, isn't plagued by self-loathing. in short, a female version of myself :D. that's an exceedingly rare combination to find. but i just can't see things working out for me with a woman otherwise

although i do think it's a very unrealistic expectation. not just because of problematic odds, but because of the very essence of the way how relationships work. it's more reasonable when seen as a desire instead. shared by many, no doubt


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mr_bigmouth_502
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03 Aug 2016, 4:24 am

Jeez, what's with all the homophobia in this thread? Some people are gay, some people are straight, some people are bi, and some people aren't even interested in sex at all. It's just how things are, and there's nothing wrong with it. Why is this such a hard thing for people to accept?


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03 Aug 2016, 4:47 am

i don't see homophobia here really. just one cranky guy


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04 Aug 2016, 1:24 am

b9 wrote:

well you look like you are gay to me with that haircut and the pink glasses, and you also talk gay stuff in many posts of yours.

goldfish21 wrote:
Why shouldn't people be proud to be what & who they are? We (gays) exist and aren't going to go hide in a closet like it's the 1950's.
you do not have to any more. gays are celebrated and esteemed in todays society. anyone who expresses any homophobic sentiment in a wider broadcasting sense is protested about by everyone who cares about their own image.


goldfish21 wrote:
It's not about shocking "the straights" so much as it is about shocking homophobes and hateful people.
well you will never clean every speck of dust from the floor.
they will die out eventually anyway, and maybe you will be too old by then, but just why be so confrontational to such a small impediment to your placidity?

goldfish21 wrote:
Plus the whole flaunting everything during Pride is about freedom of sexual expression. After all, it IS about sex, so, some people choose to celebrate and show off their particular brand of whatever "sexy," is to them. Again, it's just a statement about them existing in contrast to the common norms.
yeah i don't live for orgasms so i don't really understand anyway.


goldfish21 wrote:
"Obviously gay," does Not mean they flaunt it. It means they're "gay"/effeminate and cannot conceal their sexual orientation if they tried. I'm sure you've met a gay man and just KNOWN he was gay. Those people. They're the ones who endure gay bashing and bullying their entire lives. I feel for them. At least I've had the option of camouflaging into the heteronormative society when I don't want to be "visibly gay."

what? hairdressers, fashion designers, perfume creators, flight stewards, and many other professions are considered to be gay ones. everyone likes gay people if they meet them. you just seem to sense every tiny crack in the tapestry of societal appreciation and wedge yourself into it as an activist. forget it. it does not mean anything worthy of consideration.


goldfish21 wrote:
Except EVERY other day of the year is "straight pride" day.. in public, in the media etc. Public displays of affection, even simple things like holding hands, hugging, or kissing etc. Straight couples on TV and in movies, photos etc. It's a hetero-normative society out there and you don't notice it because you're part of it.
it's not straight pride that makes people demonstrate their behavior on TV. no heterosexual normal person wears a tee shirt saying "i'm heterosexual and i'm proud of it", or even "straight pride!! !" because it would be contentious and ill considered. but gays do it. accept that you are considered normal people and divest yourself of the division.


The haircut and glasses were intended to look gay. My regular haircut and glasses the rest of the year don't come across as gay. Nearly everyone assumes I'm straight.

You have no idea what you're talking about. None. Whatsoever. Gays aren't celebrated and esteemed. People still deal with homophobic crap on a daily basis. Every once in a while I endure it myself - heck, I spent a year defending myself at the BC Human Rights Tribunal against a homophobe's fabricated allegations of verbal sexual harassment, but "gayer" guys have to deal with it on a regular basis. There are still many countries where homosexuality is illegal, and in a number of them the penalty is death. Pride parades, the rainbow refugee program, etc.. they're all still needed just as much today as ever. Places with large Pride events, like here in Vancouver, are a vacation destination for oppressed LGBT people around the world who come to party for a week and feel what it's like to have true freedom to be themselves with their partners or friends. It's very touching to see vacationing couples at the beach on Pride weekend, holding hands, kissing, doing the simple things couples do that could get them beaten or killed in the places they are from.

Why do you assume that homophobia creates only a small impediment to gays' placidity? You have no concept of what gay people go through. What may seem like no big deal to you at all is the sort of stuff that some people take their own lives over.

Straight people don't have a NEED for "straight pride" because it's the societal accepted norm. What's so difficult to comprehend about that?


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04 Aug 2016, 1:39 am

anagram wrote:
i don't see homophobia here really. just one cranky guy

yeah, okay, self-correction... one really cranky guy. i say it's not homophobia because he seems equally bitter with everyone (or he seemed so yesterday at least)

goldfish21 wrote:
Straight people don't have a NEED for "straight pride" because it's the societal accepted norm. What's so difficult to comprehend about that?

i guess what may be confusing to some is that the flashy subculture is accepted and celebrated and even trendy, but not necessarily the people it represents (especially when it gets popular among hipsters... watch out for them. they tarnish everything they touch). you can't be bold and flashy and in-your-face all day all week all year round. daily insidious attacks in ordinary situations are much harder to deal with. me, i don't like the flashy subculture at all. personal preference. but i do sympathize with the cause against daily insidious attacks

to be honest though, as worthy as the cause may be, i don't know if "pride" movements (gay, women's, autistic, anything) do more good or more harm to the cause in the long run, especially because of that kind of confusion it creates among those who only see the surface of it and don't really stop to think about it (i.e. most everyone). there's the illusion that if your slice of the population is seen and recognized by the public, then everything is okay. personally, i wish autism in particular will keep getting more and more formal recognition, but not "recognition" by the general public

it's the old curse that if you have a problem, then you need to prove you're doing everything in your power to improve the situation on your own. then when you finally manage to improve things, you're denied assistance or recognition, because it doesn't look like you need it anymore. and then you crash and burn. damned if you do, damned if you don't


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05 Aug 2016, 2:53 am

goldfish21 wrote:
b9 wrote:

well you look like you are gay to me with that haircut and the pink glasses, and you also talk gay stuff in many posts of yours.

goldfish21 wrote:
Why shouldn't people be proud to be what & who they are? We (gays) exist and aren't going to go hide in a closet like it's the 1950's.
you do not have to any more. gays are celebrated and esteemed in todays society. anyone who expresses any homophobic sentiment in a wider broadcasting sense is protested about by everyone who cares about their own image.


goldfish21 wrote:
It's not about shocking "the straights" so much as it is about shocking homophobes and hateful people.
well you will never clean every speck of dust from the floor.
they will die out eventually anyway, and maybe you will be too old by then, but just why be so confrontational to such a small impediment to your placidity?

goldfish21 wrote:
Plus the whole flaunting everything during Pride is about freedom of sexual expression. After all, it IS about sex, so, some people choose to celebrate and show off their particular brand of whatever "sexy," is to them. Again, it's just a statement about them existing in contrast to the common norms.
yeah i don't live for orgasms so i don't really understand anyway.


goldfish21 wrote:
"Obviously gay," does Not mean they flaunt it. It means they're "gay"/effeminate and cannot conceal their sexual orientation if they tried. I'm sure you've met a gay man and just KNOWN he was gay. Those people. They're the ones who endure gay bashing and bullying their entire lives. I feel for them. At least I've had the option of camouflaging into the heteronormative society when I don't want to be "visibly gay."

what? hairdressers, fashion designers, perfume creators, flight stewards, and many other professions are considered to be gay ones. everyone likes gay people if they meet them. you just seem to sense every tiny crack in the tapestry of societal appreciation and wedge yourself into it as an activist. forget it. it does not mean anything worthy of consideration.


goldfish21 wrote:
Except EVERY other day of the year is "straight pride" day.. in public, in the media etc. Public displays of affection, even simple things like holding hands, hugging, or kissing etc. Straight couples on TV and in movies, photos etc. It's a hetero-normative society out there and you don't notice it because you're part of it.
it's not straight pride that makes people demonstrate their behavior on TV. no heterosexual normal person wears a tee shirt saying "i'm heterosexual and i'm proud of it", or even "straight pride!! !" because it would be contentious and ill considered. but gays do it. accept that you are considered normal people and divest yourself of the division.


The haircut and glasses were intended to look gay. My regular haircut and glasses the rest of the year don't come across as gay. Nearly everyone assumes I'm straight.

You have no idea what you're talking about. None. Whatsoever. Gays aren't celebrated and esteemed. People still deal with homophobic crap on a daily basis. Every once in a while I endure it myself - heck, I spent a year defending myself at the BC Human Rights Tribunal against a homophobe's fabricated allegations of verbal sexual harassment, but "gayer" guys have to deal with it on a regular basis. There are still many countries where homosexuality is illegal, and in a number of them the penalty is death. Pride parades, the rainbow refugee program, etc.. they're all still needed just as much today as ever. Places with large Pride events, like here in Vancouver, are a vacation destination for oppressed LGBT people around the world who come to party for a week and feel what it's like to have true freedom to be themselves with their partners or friends. It's very touching to see vacationing couples at the beach on Pride weekend, holding hands, kissing, doing the simple things couples do that could get them beaten or killed in the places they are from.

Why do you assume that homophobia creates only a small impediment to gays' placidity? You have no concept of what gay people go through. What may seem like no big deal to you at all is the sort of stuff that some people take their own lives over.

Straight people don't have a NEED for "straight pride" because it's the societal accepted norm. What's so difficult to comprehend about that?

well i come from australia and i have never seen a gay person vilified in any way here. no one cares. in the 1970's there used to be "poofter bashings" i think, and then it would have been a problem for them i am sure.
i know that in arab countries they have condemning attitudes to it, and that is a problem i am sure, but life is not good in so many ways in backward countries.

anyway, you are right that i do not know how it feels to be gay and i have never experienced any of what you have. i just rudely expressed my questions and stuff in my post the other night.

i am not homophobic and i never met anyone who was in my world.
i will not continue my participation in this thread because it is not something i have any knowledge about really.