If You Don't Like Children: Why?

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Thanks for more replies, it's interesting to read everyone's perspectives.

Here's our interactions in order in the way I understood them:

1. I thought you said you didn't like parents so I replied to that effect.
2. You pointed out what you actually meant I explained why I thought you disliked me and tried to be friendly. Perhaps I should've said more clearly here that I understood I'd misunderstood your previous post.
3. You went on to complain that I took your comment personally so I complained about your complaining.
4. You asked me a question then I answered.
5. You said you were intollerant of toddlers so I pointed out that's similar to people being intollerant of autistics because of some of our behaviour.
6. Now you're putting words in my mouth. Also, I'm not a him.

You have every right to dislike who you want (but people might have an opinion about it) and thanks for answering my original question.

Sorry, I saw male in your profile and didn't look in the location bit where you pointed out you're not a male but can't change it. I understand how frustrating that is as I get mistaken for a male here a lot too because of my poor choice of a username. It's really, really annoying, yes.

OK I'm sorry, it's just some of your posts after the first one sounded a little sarcastic and unforgiving but maybe I was wrong. Small children are a sensory nightmare for me so when I saw this thread it gave me the opportunity to say how I feel about them.

Edit: Sometimes when I'm writing text I accidentally use words that can be taken differently. Like one time I was texting a friend and I started with "I hate to boast but...", but what I really meant to say was "I'm not boasting but..." It was an on-off friendship so the text was kind of triggering for her and she texted back "fancy putting 'I hate to boast'!" and called me cocky, when I wasn't being cocky at all. I just got my words mixed up.

It's easy to do! Even in my question I didn't make it clear if the people who "don't like children" are ones who actually dislike them or ones who neither like nor dislike them and don't really have an opinion (I was curious about the former and used to be one of the latter).

Sorry about our misunderstanding. I'm glad you had the chance to express the trouble you have dealing with little kids. I never really interacted with any 'til I had one of my own (who, luckily, I automatically loved very much) so it's never been a problem for me.

It's OK to dislike children but still love your own naturally. People aren't obliged to love children in general, as long as they don't abuse children (I hate child abuse just as much as I hate animal abuse or any harmful abuse at all). I moan about children being noisy and distracting in stores but I love my little niece and nephews. In fact I'm frustrated because I haven't met my two little nephews yet, as they were born last year and my sister lives too far away to visit during these difficult times. I'm hoping I'll be able to meet them in the summer if we're allowed to have family gatherings, before they turn 1 at least. My niece is 4 but I haven't seen her for a whole year so she's probably changed since then.

I was just never really interested in them and had no idea how to interact with them anyway, then as soon as I decided I wanted some they suddenly became really interesting ha ha ha. Still haven't had much to do with any who aren't in my family though.


That's rubbish for you, hope you get to see them soon! I live quite far away from my sister so I'm looking forward to seeing her and my nephews again too. It's not been such a long time for us though.

I feel like we're on the same page with a lot of this tbh.

And no it wasn't directed at you.

It's mostly dads although I have met some mums like it too

Either people (usually men) like my dad who have no active part in raising the child, through their own choice not to. Not all divorced dads fall into that category: if the guy is prepared to take the kids for weekends, holidays or whole weeks, to pay child maintenance and/or (ideally all 3) discuss serious stuff with the mum, that is different. If the guy is heartbroken at lack of access, that is different. If the dad purposefully flees the country for years on end like mine did, never pays towards the boring parts of childcare, buys the kid stuff to wind up the mum, forgets the kid's birthday & Christmas, plays the part of a 'fun uncle'... he should probably have just stayed an uncle.

My dad ran off to a foreign country when I was 6-10 and when I was 14-18 then wonders why I don't want to see him. He was never part of my life properly growing up. He never did any of the hard stuff past the age of about 4.

Or people who disparage either children or people of their child's demographic in front of the kid in terms of generalisation. Eg I knew my great aunt hated boys. She told her son that. Son was 10. I don't think that's ok. Some mums say stuff like 'I wish I never had kids' when the kid is right there. That isn't ok - also if it gets back to the kid it's not ok. Child's demographic eg is if they for eg have a mixed race kid and say racist stuff - why have that kid then...

What you're saying is part of the being a mother rather than a 'fun aunt'. Mothers and fathers have to make firm choices sometimes. Being honest about the kid doing something wrong is different to telling the kid 'I hate you' or 'you shouldn't have been born' etc.

Maybe it's a place of privilege but I never felt pressured to have kids. If someone only wants the fun uncle/fun aunt part of being a kid... they shouldn't have them. And society should stop pressuring people to have kids too. Some of us just aren't equipped for it on a physical, material and/or mental level: in my case it's all 3 and I'm waiting for the latter 2 to be better before I get a pet.

I get words mixed up as well cuz of my dyslexia. Spell check can sure s#ck sometimes. I remember like maybe 10 years ago I made a post or reply in L&D & I got the word Misanthrope confused with Misogynist I said I was somewhat of a Misogynist when I really meant that I was somewhat of a Misanthrope & I did not catch the error till much much latter You can imagine the sh!t storm that followed It also did NOT help that I was very frustrated with things at the time & bitter as a result. I was talking about generalizations sometimes & I was not specifying that there are plenty of exceptions & that I was just talking from my experience & perspective & things may be quite different in other areas. I eventually kinda started trying to get in the habit of posting a disclaimer specifically stating that there are plenty of exceptions. The issue may somewhat be due to us Aspies tending to be literal & we can s#ck at reading between the lines sometimes, I know I sure can.
I should stop this reply here cuz I'm getting way off topic. I'll post another reply today getting somewhat back on topic.

Might be taking my own thread more off-topic here but that's genuinely hilarious!

It's funny that being a misanthrope is ok but being a misogynist isn't...

Maybe it's because until we meet talking cats we will always be talking about a group we're part of

Generalising is ok when it's all of humanity

I think it's exactly the thing: not liking the group you're part of vs not liking the group you're not part of.
It makes a practical difference to social dynamics.

^ Yes. I also think it's fair because it applies to everyone

They are annoying.
They are loud.
Their awful high-pitched voices cause me physical pain (head-aches).
They are dumb.
They are irrational because their brains are not fully developed yet.
They are unpredictable and behave illogically because they are irrational.
They are incapable of fully understanding the consequences of their actions and thus act irresponsibly, carelessly, destructively and recklessly.
They don’t think things through.
They function on a primitive, almost entirely instinctual level.
They do not understand what one says when it’s not dulled down to their level.
They don't respect nor understand personal space.
They should all wear a bio-hazard symbol because they are a germ factory.
They are unhygienic.

All of these factors combined make me dislike children.
They are also creepy and remind me of alien parasites one knows from your average horror/action movie x’D

Did you not like yourself when you were a kid?
I liked myself but I didn’t like other kids my age. I liked to talk to and play with adults more.
And as a teenager, I still couldn’t stand kids but additionally also loathed other teenagers - I absolutely hated the group I was a part of - and liked to hang out with adults more still.

If you had asked me if the current me would have disliked the kid version of me the answer would still have clearly been yes though. I would not have wanted to take care of myself as a kid either. I don’t get why my parents wanted to have kids in the first place.

Are there any other groups of people you dislike?
Yes, teenagers.
Humans on average start to get somewhat bearable at around 25 years old x’D
I can’t stand unpredictable, destructive and irrational people in general though, even if they have celebrated their 100th birthday.

Misogynist: Not Okay.  (Hating women is not okay)
Misanthrope: Okay.  (Hating humanity is okay ... sort of ...)
Misandrist: Not Okay.  (Hating men is not okay)

(I'm not referring to the OP here, just in general).
Yes, this happens to me a lot here too. I'm not that bad at reading between the lines, and I expect others to as well. Whenever I moan about children, I don't mean it personally against any child. Some people I know dislike elderly people, but I don't take offence and say ''so you don't like my grandmother?'', because they have never met my grandmother and I know they don't mean it in that way. I like elderly people myself.

Absolutely. I had fairly bad self-esteem issues as a kid. Personally I viewed myself as a burden and became independent to a self-destructive degree. I didn't like myself because I believed that the people in my life deserved better. Thankfully I realised that this was unhealthy and that I shouldn't hold others above myself like that.



I don't really know how I feel about children. They usually have a lot more energy than I do. Babies and toddlers seem intense but children ten years and older aren't that bad to deal with. Still, I haven't experienced much of life yet. I'm still learning how to take care of myself properly. Still processing the fact I will no longer be a student in a month. I am disappointed that I missed out on my final year and spent it in my bedroom due to restrictions but it is what it is. Looking forward to graduating though and learning to drive. I hope to see my friends during the summer, so long as the situation allows it. Who knows, maybe one day I'll experience dating. Perhaps I'll go on a independent sight-seeing trip in the future. I just hope I'll be able to find a job at some point. Anyway, I'm going off topic here, but my point is that as of right now my priority is finishing my dissertation and maintaining my sanity. Which I should be doing.... Yeah I should go do that.

My mom was pretty good with kids as a teacher but she did NOT have the patience or energy to raise a special needs child like me. Mom & dad spent a lot of money & time trying to get me help with things when I was growing up & in my 20s but the medical industry where we lived majorly s#cked & the state hated making investments in programs that would help individuals & families & people with disabilities. There was very little support helping me & my parents. My parents did NOT really understand how my various issues affected me & they weren't even fully aware of the extent of some of them until after I became an adult. Mom got very frustrated having to do special things for me & I know her & dad really wanted me to be more independent but their methods of pushing independence on me were NOT right for me. Mom felt like I was not trying & was being demanding because I was lazy. She thought I was expecting her & dad to take care of me for the rest of my life. Looking back I know she was very worried about what would happen to me after her & dad would die & she was lost & discouraged as to what to do about it. She felt I was not trying because I was lazy, too comfortable, & too used to depending on her & dad. She seemed to think that a hostile home environment would help motivate me into bettering myself & moving out. It's kinda like how a mamma bird pushes her babies out of the nest in order to teach them to fly, But what happens when a baby bird is born with a messed-up wing & will never be able to fly? It is NOT that I wanted & liked & expected to be dependent on her & dad for the rest of my life but rather I was stuck in a rut & lost as to what to do. I was doing the best I could & I did not have a clue how I could do any better. Me & mom fought aLOT as a result until I moved out at 30. She often said things when I was in my teens & 20s that made me feel very unwanted & unaccepted. She would joke about how there must of been a mixup at the hospital & she was given the wrong baby because I did not take after her & dad. She often threatened to put me up for adoption, send me to juvi, send me to military school, or throw me out on the street. Some of that was more like bad jokes that were in very poor taste or her being frustrated & saying things in the heat of the moment. I fought back when I felt verbally attacked & I would have a meltdown & throw a tantrum & call her & accuse her of some very hateful things. I know my mom really loves me because in lots of ways she's done much more for me than most parents would of been willing to do for their teen & adult kids but making me feel like cr@p about it only made things worse. I think we woulda had a much better relationship if my mom was my teacher instead of my mom.



I laughed a little myself when I posted that It wasn't funny at the time thou of corse but looking back it kinda is. Finding humor in something helps me deal & cope with things. BTW this is your thread so you can go off topic as much as you want



I never thought about this before but I think perhaps it's cuz if an outsider criticizes a group, the group can assume that the outsider can not possibly understand what it's really like for the group since they are an outsider. If an NT criticizes Aspies, More than a few of us on this forum would take offense thinking that the NT can not grasp how difficult being an Aspie can be. Us Aspies would assume that the NT is being judgemental & hateful of things they cant understand. Whereas if a fellow Aspie criticizes & complains about being an Aspie & also how frustrated they are by other Aspies. We would assume that the Aspie is going through a very difficult time & we would want to help them feel better about things.