WP Addicts Anonymous

Post Reply New Topic

Has the ferret let anyone know what's happening? I suspect he's banned himself for upsetting the one with the long name but I don't know.

!

Yeah...I still loved this chick who followed me home from work for about two years!

I waited and waited for her call---and it never came!

You have talent, Kip. You will get over this.

right.

Attention***** fluffysaurus has been here

Anyone want to learn about the five Aztec creation myths?

Sure you do! It's like cosmic horror 101!

I'm terrible when it comes to spelling and pronouncing Aztec and Mayan and Inca names, so I'll be inventing simple names for the deities featured.

So, as most creation myths starts, this one starts with a primordial void. Two primordial fertility deities, who may or may not be the same entity, poof themselves into existence, and then create four more deities, one for each direction.
I'm not sure how you can have directions in a void, but...anyway, the first is Quetzalcoatl, of the west, hereby referred to as winged snake god. Easily the nicest god of the entire Aztec pantheon.

The second is Jaguar god of the north, also god of darkness, night, storms, those kinds of things.

The third is the walking nightmare 'Flayed God' of the east, who is genuinely one of the most horrifying things I have ever learned about in mythology.

The fourth, of the south, is a blue-skinned war god of human sacrifice. Charming.

So, according to this myth, the world used to be three layers: primordial void above, primordial ocean in between, and nightmarish eldritch thing with crocodile teeth on every joint. The four gods decided to start creating things, but everything just falls onto the monster thing and gets eaten.

The gods get really tired of it and use Jaguar God as bait to get the monster thing to go up far enough that they can attack it. It does, and snaps off Jaguar God's leg in the process, but it gets beaten into submission and formed into the Earth. That's why earthquakes happen--the monster thing that is Earth wants to eat everything.

Finally the gods can create things, and make a bunch of humans. The only problem is, it's all dark, and they need a sun right away.
Jaguar God volunteers, but because he's god of night, he's only half a sun. That still works kind of fine, until winged snake god annoys him annoys him so badly that in retaliation winged snake god home runs him out of the sky with what is basically a baseball bat. So Jaguar god sends a rain of Jaguars down and everyone gets eaten.

The second attempt has the gods creating humans again, and this time it's winged snake god's turn. Things go alright until the humans start disrespecting the gods, and Jaguar God turns them all into monkeys as punishment. Winged snake god is so upset he makes a whirlwind to whisk all the monkeys away, and then goes home to sulk.

So it's back to the drawing board, and more humans, blah blah blah, shenanigans with other gods happen, and Jaguar God sends down fire rain to burn everything up.

The fourth world has a far better time for a while, with a sweetheart of a goddess being the sun. Things go splendidly until Jaguar God [Sensing a pattern?] convinces her that none of the humans like her and that she's just pretending to be nice to get more worship, and she gets so upset that she cries tears of blood for so long that everything drowns.

Winged snake god has had it at this point, and storms down to the underworld, grabs all the bones from all the humans that died, and storms back. Unfortunately he drops them on the way, and has trouble putting them back together, and that's why humans are all different heights. The fifth and current world is apparently our world.
Unfortunately the current sun has a huge rivalry with the moon and stars [who are scary skeleton ladies for some reason]. According to the end of the myth, this world will end through massive earthquakes because of the Earth wanting to eat everything.

So, yeah, fun.

In case you think you're having a bad day . . .

there are two girls that are studying with me that i love them so much in a friendship way but i'm afraid i just show too much i'm attached to them that i'll scare them? they are really nice and the kind of people i wanted to be friends with my whole life and now i met them and we are friends!! !

That's great to hear.

Well it's almost sunrise, so I guess I'll stay up a little while longer and go out and count the birds.

I thought, until I enlarged the image today, that Kazan's latest avatar was a guy in a kayak.