Joined: 24 Aug 2011 Gender: Female Posts: 13,045 Location: northeast US
18 May 2019, 12:00 am
blooiejagwa wrote:
I called my sister when I was perseverating over past unnecessary things like law clerk n lawyer
(the reason it became stronger is because I have to get a new lawyer as he wants to get papers signed n there is no parenting plan in place as my old lawyer had lied and said the court would not allow one) Suicide ideation etc
Anyway basically I told her everything relevant eg cannot leave car , trying to get her advice She literally signed me up (she googled n purchased it) for a painting class at a painting lounge She said it's booked for 7.30 And I had an hour to get ready Then I went n the brilliant part (her brilliance)
Is that no matter how much my brain was refusing n trying to short-circuit so I woould not go My conscience succeeded N the therapy strategies ..in quelling it
Since my LITTLE (by 6 years) sister had BOUGHT it fr me I forced myself to go Also she messaged me 'remembef to send me pictures!' etc
Anyway it lasted till 12 pm My painting was not bad and it propelled me fr the rest of this week to be more productive
So if u guys have a bad mental health day/month see if u can call someone and get strategies and see if u can sign up for something where u are accountable to follow through
Even if someone doesn't pay like my sister did fr me, it cd be that u make plans against ur will to go somewhere with someone n make sure they know u need their support and encouragement.. then even if it's embarrassing to admit it all, getting out n doing g something fresh outside of your perseveration zone will really help re-calibrate your brain
Joined: 19 Dec 2017 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 5,793
18 May 2019, 12:12 am
Oh today I also started giving my son blenderized fresh foods diet (just 120 ml today in place of that amount of formula) n he seemed way more energetic than usual
I will go v v v v v slow as advised by all As his system is so fragile
But when i told nurse (can't say her name to distinguish from other nurses so I'll say she's from Burundi) I started she was encouraginv me a lot
The nurse who is from China who is also great was scared as she has seen some horrible blockages where the parents have to pay 100s to fix the problem (presumably over time buying lots of g tubes?)
So she was frantically advising me not to do it But I researched n got advice from different experts like dietician n online nurses And I kept it mild and not complicated And blended n strained it several times N he was fine!! I offered by mouth but he refused though it tasted great
Oh I'm not fasting because I cannot sustain it Well I'm not doing any requisite thing like formal prayers so I guess that is just
XH is fasting but he is not having breakfast just fasting from dinner the night before Which is crazy and unhealthy I told him not to n different ideas to make it easy to get up early but he isn't listening
When I was married I Ed make him great healthy n yummy food n he would get up before sunrise as I would wake him n he would eat n be fine fasting till sunset
I feel bad but I'm not allowing myself to delve more into 'i wish I cd be there to wake him' as that is a slippery slope
Also my son's toilet training is going to happen as he finally received his special needs commode after 2 yrs! Well 1 year was the equipment storesfault as they were lazy n didn't submit the order forms that we gave them .. Anyway now he will finally be getting trained this summer and the therapist had completely written out his toileting program on Thursday
She's fasting too which makes me feel ashamed as she was originally Christian n she is a better person than me in every aspect eg doesn't backbite, very kind and caring, v hard working, good company to everyone even ppl she never met before, etc
Her daughter is a literal genius but she is also extremely cute n kind She is my elder sons age
Anyway they went to Iceland on holiday, and she lit a candle in my sons' honour at a traditional site there where you light candles. Her mom said she just thought of it herself
_________________ Take defeat as an urge to greater effort. -Napoleon Hill
Joined: 19 Dec 2017 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 5,793
18 May 2019, 12:18 am
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Hugs for Blooie ^ I'm happy to see you and glad the outing helped.
Oh how are you? I'm reading a book called 'Unworthy how to stop hating yourself' which is actually really well written n v insightful
which u might like because she refers to things which to me sound like she has undiagnosed Asperger's or autism
But she thinks it's entirely due to her mom's low self esteem n poor coping habits But no reason why it cannot be both. In fact what if her mom had ASD too n just wasn't raised compassionately so she became self-hating n taught her daughter to be that way? Anyway it's interesting and she sounds like someone who ought to be on Wrong planet
Her writing style is good
Hi also to cathylynn
_________________ Take defeat as an urge to greater effort. -Napoleon Hill
Joined: 1 Nov 2017 Gender: Female Posts: 72,422 Location: Chez Quis
18 May 2019, 12:31 am
blooiejagwa wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Hugs for Blooie ^ I'm happy to see you and glad the outing helped.
Oh how are you? I'm reading a book called 'Unworthy how to stop hating yourself' which is actually really well written n v insightful
which u might like because she refers to things which to me sound like she has undiagnosed Asperger's or autism
But she thinks it's entirely due to her mom's low self esteem n poor coping habits But no reason why it cannot be both. In fact what if her mom had ASD too n just wasn't raised compassionately so she became self-hating n taught her daughter to be that way? Anyway it's interesting and she sounds like someone who ought to be on Wrong planet
Her writing style is good
Hi also to cathylynn
I'm so glad your son's food was successful after all that hard work you've done. You are such a strong person; he's blessed to have you and your new Burundi nurse. Don't worry about your ex-husband's fasting during Ramadan. Keep your focus on the boys but also on yourself, and your recovery from trauma. Thanks for the book suggestion which of course reminds me of Lucy Snowe I can understand why you find her story so compelling. I'm knee-deep with reading and still fighting the good fight, but starting to feel more like myself.
Hugs and Eid Mubarak
_________________ I never give you my number, I only give you my situation. Beatles
Joined: 19 Dec 2017 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 5,793
18 May 2019, 12:38 pm
I wish all governments around the world would allocate more money to ppl who are isolated (eg impoverished, sick, elderly, disabled) and vulnerable and come up with a workable plan to improve society's understanding and accommodations for such people That was help long term in combatting generational 'curses' much of which require outside help to be broken Bcuz no matter where the current attitude and treatment is overall unhealthy
they all waste money on arms dealings Actually that should be made illegal by the UN but it just goes to show UN has little to no power in prevention or protection only in picking up the pieces after the fact
I'm only thinking about this because my Burundi nurse told me about arms dealings messing up her country n surroundi g countries n resources exploited to other countries like Belgium (after my brother told me bcuz he is literally a genius and knows everything about world history and politics except for China and Eastern Europe)
_________________ Take defeat as an urge to greater effort. -Napoleon Hill
Joined: 18 Dec 2015 Gender: Male Posts: 12,030 Location: New England
18 May 2019, 7:39 pm
OMG, the National Enquirer headline in the supermarket says WILLIAM SEIZES THRONE FROM CHARLES!! The dying Queen has given her blessing!! Is this true??
(You may not know, be we have a problem with "Fake News" in the US. The National Enquirer is pretty reliable, but still I like to have confirmation on stories of great significance like this.)