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EzraS
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10 Feb 2017, 12:04 am

I'm an NSA mole working as a Russian troll worming my way through the internet to bug.

auntblabby
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10 Feb 2017, 12:54 am

ok, i'll accept that.

Kiprobalhato
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10 Feb 2017, 2:57 am

EzraS wrote:

I'm an NSA mole working as a Russian troll worming my way through the internet to bug.

Banned.

(muahaha)

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Luna035
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15 Feb 2017, 9:24 pm

MidlifeAspie wrote:

So, what do you other guys do to feel manly? How do you handle your masculinity, etc? Let's get the conversation going.

This is a great question, because I feel most neurotypical men are narcissistic sociopaths and the male aspies I met in the past were the polar opposite. What are "normal" men like.

RetroGamer87
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15 Feb 2017, 9:39 pm

I don't really do anything to feel manly.

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auntblabby
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15 Feb 2017, 9:41 pm

I suppose i'd feel "manly" if I went out and wrassled a bear.

Dear_one
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15 Feb 2017, 10:38 pm

This has never been an issue for me. I look at a woman, and I know right away I feel like a man. Occasionally, people have wondered if I'm a "real man" for one reason or another, and I've found it more amusing to let them wonder than to correct them. One reality check is that no matter how hard I tried to satisfy feminists that I wasn't patriarchal, they never trusted me anyway. Ever since Ma Nature invented gender, every single critter has wanted to know if they are dealing with potential mates or potential rivals at every encounter. I've never felt any ambivalence about which way I swing.

RetroGamer87
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15 Feb 2017, 10:57 pm

Gender wasn't invented by mother nature, it's a social construct /sarcasm

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auntblabby
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15 Feb 2017, 11:14 pm

men can be just as nurturing as women, if they wanna be. :idea:

Dear_one
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15 Feb 2017, 11:36 pm

auntblabby wrote:

men can be just as nurturing as women, if they wanna be. :idea:

True enough, but we still need to qualify that if we want to understand gender. People have a strong tendency to be good parents, and most are reasonably good at it. The abilities of men and women overlap a great deal. Either sex can fill in as a single parent at need. However, on average, women are more nurturing, and more men are hopeless at it. If you want to observe instinct in action, watch what happens when someone rescues a child from a sinking car or burning house, and wants to go back for more. If they see a group of strangers watching, they will hand the child to a woman, if possible.

The mother has a higher biological investment in a child at birth, and bonds with it further during nursing. She is also certain of its parentage, while the father supporting them has been fooled 10% of the time.

auntblabby
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15 Feb 2017, 11:44 pm

Dear_one wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

men can be just as nurturing as women, if they wanna be. :idea:

True enough, but we still need to qualify that if we want to understand gender. People have a strong tendency to be good parents, and most are reasonably good at it. The abilities of men and women overlap a great deal. Either sex can fill in as a single parent at need. However, on average, women are more nurturing, and more men are hopeless at it. If you want to observe instinct in action, watch what happens when someone rescues a child from a sinking car or burning house, and wants to go back for more. If they see a group of strangers watching, they will hand the child to a woman, if possible. The mother has a higher biological investment in a child at birth, and bonds with it further during nursing. She is also certain of its parentage, while the father supporting them has been fooled 10% of the time.

thankfully, just as one has read about animals such as dogs and cats "adopting" orphan pups and kittens, so too are some rare men who will lovingly care for a stranger's child.

RetroGamer87
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15 Feb 2017, 11:50 pm

Dear_one wrote:

However, on average, women are more nurturing, and more men are hopeless at it.

I am not hopeless at nurturing. If you don't believe me, ask my cat.

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Dear_one
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16 Feb 2017, 12:04 am

I think that on average, men are willing to adopt, and we accept the odds of being cuckolded.
Let's imagine a young married couple who are keen to start a family, but have had no success for a couple of years. As far as I know, the odds of either one being infertile are about equal. So, what's the wife to do? She wants to know if she's a "real woman" or not, and she wants a child. If she can conceive with another man, and keep quiet about it, that's the best outcome for all concerned. The "father" never doubts himself, and gets to enjoy raising a child while supporting it.

Humans are amazingly consistent about having 10% of children misinformed about the identity of their fathers across myriads of cultural variations. This is the sweet spot on the fidelity charts - The odds of paternity are good enough to keep men involved in support, but there's still enough turnover to keep the gene pool fresh and bubbling. In a successful human society, there are some excellent male citizens who don't make good fathers. These include the wandering traders and troubadours, and also the heroes, who tend to die young while defending their whole family. Any of these can be the "bad boy" in an irresistable romance.

auntblabby
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16 Feb 2017, 1:41 am

I am reminded of this old hank penny song, "white shotguns"-

WHITE SHOTGUNS [hank penny]
well the day that we got married
was in the month of may
we had a big reception,
it was such a happy day
her father was the best man, as i could plainly see
he had a 12 gauge shotgun a'layin' across his knee
we had a formal wedding- white shotguns
her pappy was awful happy to have me as a son
an' all the local bachelors was glad that i got stung-
we had a formal wedding- white shotguns
the wedding march was playing,
they served ol' mountain dew
her father sat there waitin'
just to see that things went through-
about that time the lights went out,
i said here's my chance-
i had the doorknob in my hand when the buckshot hit my pants
we had a formal wedding- white shotguns
her pa was awful happy to have me as a son
an' all the local bachelors, was glad that i got stung-
we had a formal wedding- white shotguns
now we have a family just as nice as could be had
and all the neighbors say their kiddies look just like their dad
i look our 8 kids over, as proud as can be,
'cept when i look closer, i find ONE that looks like me
we had a formal wedding, white shot guns-
her pa was awful proud to have me for a son
and all the local bachelors was glad that i got stung
we had a formal wedding, white shotguns.