10 Feb 2017, 12:04 am
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas
10 Feb 2017, 12:54 am
10 Feb 2017, 2:57 am
15 Feb 2017, 9:24 pm
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,077
Location: Adelaide, Australia
15 Feb 2017, 9:39 pm
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas
15 Feb 2017, 9:41 pm
Dear_one
Veteran
Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
15 Feb 2017, 10:38 pm
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,077
Location: Adelaide, Australia
15 Feb 2017, 10:57 pm
Gender wasn't invented by mother nature, it's a social construct /sarcasm 
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas
15 Feb 2017, 11:14 pm
men can be just as nurturing as women, if they wanna be. 
Dear_one
Veteran
Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
15 Feb 2017, 11:36 pm
True enough, but we still need to qualify that if we want to understand gender. People have a strong tendency to be good parents, and most are reasonably good at it. The abilities of men and women overlap a great deal. Either sex can fill in as a single parent at need. However, on average, women are more nurturing, and more men are hopeless at it. If you want to observe instinct in action, watch what happens when someone rescues a child from a sinking car or burning house, and wants to go back for more. If they see a group of strangers watching, they will hand the child to a woman, if possible.
The mother has a higher biological investment in a child at birth, and bonds with it further during nursing. She is also certain of its parentage, while the father supporting them has been fooled 10% of the time.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas
15 Feb 2017, 11:44 pm
True enough, but we still need to qualify that if we want to understand gender. People have a strong tendency to be good parents, and most are reasonably good at it. The abilities of men and women overlap a great deal. Either sex can fill in as a single parent at need. However, on average, women are more nurturing, and more men are hopeless at it. If you want to observe instinct in action, watch what happens when someone rescues a child from a sinking car or burning house, and wants to go back for more. If they see a group of strangers watching, they will hand the child to a woman, if possible. The mother has a higher biological investment in a child at birth, and bonds with it further during nursing. She is also certain of its parentage, while the father supporting them has been fooled 10% of the time.
thankfully, just as one has read about animals such as dogs and cats "adopting" orphan pups and kittens, so too are some rare men who will lovingly care for a stranger's child.
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,077
Location: Adelaide, Australia
15 Feb 2017, 11:50 pm
Dear_one
Veteran
Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
16 Feb 2017, 12:04 am
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas
16 Feb 2017, 1:41 am
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,077
Location: Adelaide, Australia
16 Feb 2017, 3:30 am
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas
16 Feb 2017, 4:01 am
Let's imagine a young married couple who are keen to start a family, but have had no success for a couple of years. As far as I know, the odds of either one being infertile are about equal. So, what's the wife to do? She wants to know if she's a "real woman" or not, and she wants a child. If she can conceive with another man, and keep quiet about it, that's the best outcome for all concerned. The "father" never doubts himself, and gets to enjoy raising a child while supporting it.
Humans are amazingly consistent about having 10% of children misinformed about the identity of their fathers across myriads of cultural variations. This is the sweet spot on the fidelity charts - The odds of paternity are good enough to keep men involved in support, but there's still enough turnover to keep the gene pool fresh and bubbling. In a successful human society, there are some excellent male citizens who don't make good fathers. These include the wandering traders and troubadours, and also the heroes, who tend to die young while defending their whole family. Any of these can be the "bad boy" in an irresistable romance.
gee
that sounds like nationally instituted cuckoldry to me 
