I never drank before, as a matter of pride and desire for control (similar to your reason), but do so now more for enjoyment and experience of the taste.
The "buzzed" feeling is somewhat new to me, and I enjoy it.
I confess that I can't effing sleep at the moment. And that if I do manage it, I'm afraid I'll talk in my sleep again...
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Still grateful.
"...do you really think you're in control...?"
Diagnosis: uncertain.