i dreamt that i was going to the theater to see a movie with some people i knew, they weren't specified. Kol worked at that theater, and i can't remember whether or not i knew that. she came with the rest of us and she was wearing her work outfit, naturally. she approached a hidden doorway that matched the rest of the wall and locked it.
outside of the show, we stopped. we looked at each other.
i don't know how it led into this, but i suddenly found myself in this warm, tight embrace of hers. i was completely ensconced in her arms and her affection. her...skinny arms, mine clasped as tight around her equally skinny body, but it didn't feel that way. everything else melted away. i felt like i was floating. she caressed me, ran her hands through my hair and we said nothing. there was no sound but that of our own breaths and the rustling of clothes. i had completely forgotten about the movie. her head next to mine.
i felt safe. i felt truly loved. i felt like nothing else mattered, and in that moment...it truly didn't. that was legitimately, the happiest i've felt in a very, very long time.
of course when i awoke i felt dejected, hopeless and i started crying.
i've always wanted to hold her and let her know everything will be alright, but perhaps as much as that, i want to BE held, be loved and cuddled and have someone run their hands through my hair like she used to do, years ago. i guess i didn't realize how much i wanted it until i had this dream.
and i hope it becomes reality.
is that a crime..
_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.