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lostonearth35
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01 Sep 2024, 1:59 pm

The future is so bright, we've got to wear shades. 8)

But the brightness is the light coming from a speeding train. :skull:



funeralxempire
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04 Sep 2024, 6:22 pm

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

Quote:
WINDER, GA—In the hours following a violent rampage in Georgia in which a lone attacker killed at least four individuals and injured nine others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Wednesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place.

“This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them,” said New Mexico resident Edward Turner, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who reside in a nation where over half of the world’s deadliest mass shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20 times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed nations.

“It’s a shame, but what can we do? There really wasn’t anything that was going to keep this individual from snapping and killing a lot of people if that’s what they really wanted.”

At press time, residents of the only economically advanced nation in the world where roughly two mass shootings have occurred every month for the past eight years were referring to themselves and their situation as “helpless.”


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lostonearth35
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05 Nov 2024, 2:43 pm

Someone asked me, "When you're out shopping are you ever worried that some deranged serial killer in the store will suddenly come in and there will be virtually nothing you can do to protect yourself?

I answered, "Nope. What are the chances that there will be two deranged serial killers in the same store?"



Redpaws
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06 Nov 2024, 12:15 am

One small step but in the right direction.
A simple plan of sublime perfection.
Apollo 11 lands on a Luna mare.
If we can send one Yank to the moon,
why not send them all there?


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#bringthemhomenow

No terror, no war. No sympathy for terrorists or their supporters and sympathizers


lostonearth35
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21 Nov 2024, 12:47 pm

I think kids today should still be taught to write in cursive. How else are they going to write insults in the snow with their pee?



CockneyRebel
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22 Nov 2024, 8:40 pm

Mother - I saw a Cockney walking around town today.

Grown child - That was me

Mother - So you're on that kick again

Grown child - It's better than dressing like a German soldier


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lostonearth35
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23 Nov 2024, 3:15 pm

Here's one for the upcoming holidays.

People say I'm like a candy cane. Not because I'm sweet, but because I'm twisted.



blitzkrieg
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23 Nov 2024, 3:27 pm

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.