auntblabby wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
for about a decade after i left work, i had hard nightmares about my work experience, usually featuring a worst-case scenario on steroids. i had dreams like that while i was working also, which would leave me exhausted in the morning when i had to hurry up and get ready for work.
I feel your pain. Those dreams are the worst. I have such a feeling of helplessness because I can't remember why I'm back at work. I go around telling everyone I have CPTSD and a stroke and autism and ADHD and agoraphobia and mutism and that I can't do my job because of a major breakdown. Half the time I'm in my pyjamas and stimming. It's just a terrible dream, the worst type of nightmare for me. I think I'd drop dead of panic if it ever came true.
nightmares for sure. in addition to the work dreams, there were also army dreams [though less nightmarish and more absurdist] where i was always disheveled, a day late and a dollar short of what i needed, always not ready for inspection. but strangely [unlike real life] there were no consequences, i was usually ignored.
Interesting - I think work expectations really do a number on our psyches.
I'll be able to switch from Long Term Disability to retirement in two years or I can delay it longer if I choose, because LTD pays more. I'm not rushing it but I hope that once I retire, the dreams about "being forced to go back" will end. I hope.
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