Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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and i got sexually harassed on the bus yesterday. as in the random dude who sat next to me started kneading my chest with his elbow which is why i didn't think it was inappropriate at first because it could have been accidental and it looked like he was scratching his leg but then he started pinching me and using his hands to touch my chest and thighs and between my legs and he used his legs and hands to hold my legs apart while he did it. i didn't move. i wanted to break his fingers or show him the pointy end of my 5mm knitting needles or scream at him and shame him in front of the passengers but i didn't. i just sat really still and waited for him to stop but he didn't. he only stopped when people got on or off so nobody would see but how did they not notice? we were at the front. and he did it for like an hour or something. he followed me off the bus all the way to the queer rights centre i go to. luckily within a minute of me reaching their stairs a volunteer came. lucky because it turns out the centre wasn't open that day. the volunteer sat with me and noticed i was freaked and asked if i was okay so i told him and he was nice about it. he gave me an anti harassment campaign leaflet. he said next time i should be aggressive and that feeling powerless and weak was just in my head. he said he was confused as to why i had continued up the stairs after he said the centre was closed and had thought random guy was my friend.

I want a kaleidoscope for Christmas, but no one is getting me one because apparently "I'm not a child anymore" I think that whining about it is childish enough, so why can't I have a kaleidoscope?

Dear VMSmith, this is a horrible experience, the nightmare of any female who uses public transportation!

What your cousin and that volunteer do not understand is that you were terrified, and that if you had gotten that creep thrown off the bus, or arrested, he could easily find you again and hurt you.

Men frequently do not understand women's fears, they are too used to being strong enough to fight.

Sylkat

I havent been this tired since I was a baby

My printer stopped working and none of the upstairs windows open wide enough for me to throw it out into the garden.

I watched Tommorow Never Dies and it doesn't hold up anymore. I wish Tarantino woud have directed casino royale like he wanted to. He would have set the movie in the sixties.
Lost cause I quess.

Being slowly pushed out and full legal separation.

Being sick for the last week. If I'm not better by the time school comes around again, this is going to suck.

Everyone's getting sick. I hope you all get well soon!
(That includes you too, Makayla!)

_________________
My nephew Coke needs to eat! Obviously we're related.

This made me unhappy yesterday but who cares..... I had a headache.

a few days ago the bus driver tried to pull some funny stuff with me. like he gradually got everyone to get off the bus and deviated from his route in a big way and i didn't admit to myself that something was off until he stopped on the side of the road and got the last family to get off. at that point i took off my belt in case i wasn't being paranoid and got ready to jump ship when stuff went wrong but then he drove off again and pulled up on the side of the highway and said he wanted to talk and started going on about how much he wanted to engage me and then he wanted to know why i didn't want to engage him and i told him my male friend was waiting for me but he wanted me to tell my friend i was running late and then he lent over and tried to kiss me and i put my hand up to stop him and he put it down and lent further in but then he stopped trying and moved the van again and said he would take me to his place and we could have lunch and i was like oh f#ck. he also said he would take me to where i wanted to go but he was lying. he kept pressing getting engaged.
he went down a side street and parked and said he would be back quickly and had to get car parts and i didn't know if i should make a break for it or not because there were people around that may have known him and i didn't know where he went so i sent a volunteer at the queer rights centre i go to a text but he didn't respond so i was like f#ck this and got out and walked to the highway but after 2 minutes the van was following me and he wanted me to get back in and kept saying he would take me to where i wanted to go but i just kept yelling that i would walk and i went into a hairdressers to ask for directions and the guy followed me and i start yelling at him to go away and then he walked in and insists i get back in and says he will take me where i want to go and i keep saying i will walk. then he decides to get me to pay for the trip and i refuse to pay to be harassed and the hairdresser tries to pay him but i yell don't you dare! eventually bus driver goes outside and i explain what was happening to the hairdressers and the looks on their faces were classic. they just went dark and angry and the guy just goes "tfeh"(spitting sound). then one of them checks outside and the bus driver is still waiting so the guy stays out there till he goes away then they both helped me get a service for a fair price.
then it turns out the volunteer had tried to text/ring me a couple of times and he said he would meet me at the centre. i went there and curled up on the couch and pretended i was asleep because i didn't want to be awake. and then my eyes started leaking because this is the fourth time in a month that something has been this extreme and i buried my face in pillows so nobody would notice until volunteer came and pulled the pillows off gently, pinched my cheek like he does and wiped the water from my face and took me aside to make sure i was ok. he gave me a run down of what i should look out for in terms of dodgy behaviour, told me he'd almost been raped a lot too and then told me about the rape laws(rapist protection laws) in this country. then he changed the conversation to politics because he knows i like politics and he was trying to make me feel better. what would i do without them? i'm glad i did something this time though. it's progress. if it happens again i think i will be able to punch the perv.

New Years Eve...

...where as Christmas is about family, New Years is about friends...I don't really have any of those right now, as what few friends I have left I never see, and I certainly can't afford to go out to celebrate with them. I hate seeing so many people going out and having fun with friends, and things changing for others when I don't get to make a new start. New Years was always an excuse to go out to have fun with friends, it makes me sad that I don't have that any more.

I wish someone understood how I feel right now.