Send an anonymous message to ANYONE in your life

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Yes, yes, I get it, I'm a guy, you're a girl. That automatically means we can't be just "platonic friends" but I completely don't care for that stereotype. Contrary to what you/america as a whole believes, I don't care if you're really pretty, and I don't care if you're into me or not. I didn't even know you had a boyfriend, and I didn't care, and still don't. You've always been a good friend and I never wanted, nor will want, anything more than that. Stop looking at me like I'm some weirdo, I can handle platonic friendships and I don't want/need more. Anyone who treats me with respect and understands my autistic struggles is welcome in my life in any capacity. You just happen by coincedence to be really pretty and around my age, so, kill the awkward stereotype and be my friend, I'm not sitting around hoping for more.

Evidence? WHAT evidence?

I tried to mkae a deal with you, but you downright refused it, hurting me even more. I don't love you anymore, if I ever did in the first place. I'm cutting you off as much as I can, unless you reconsider, which I doubt you will.

Another reason I like you; you introduced me to dissolvable Panadol, now I never have to choke swallowing pills.

*feels headache fade away*

Waiting for you to decide. Is ten years too long? Did you decide? Long ago? Am I wandering in circles? Do you need me to leave because you can't "say no?" Is that all it was? Did you marry your "one and only." Did I poop on sacred grounds? Did I interlope in places without conscious or right?

Was I so mistaken? Was I so wrong?

Could I know about your inability to trust? Could I know that ever statement of unconditional love would be suspect??? Could I know that? You, who are you now? Who are you and what exactly do you want?

Dear Anonymous Person in my Life,

Bob Dylan said it best.

If you changed your mind, why not just tell me instead of ignoring me? Coward.

Pretty damn sad when an autistic individual has to explain that to a neurotypical, but I get it, you're so superior and better socially that it's not relevant, apparently. Oh well.

f**k off with your smile and cross-eyed gawk. Just because we know each other from high school doesn't mean you have a f*****g chance with me.

I really wish that you would trust me enough to confide in me more often. We were able to find a solution to your dilemma, and I really don't mind being "just a friend" to you. We're both married and your husband is a friend of mine. Unless it is a life-threatening situation, I will not "rat you out".

What was that you said under your breathe as we left this afternoon?? It sounded like you were muttering "stupid people". I would have muttered back "I agree"

No. Still not talking to you. I should have been more firm with you when I made that offer, saying I would ONLY let you do that if you could let me go through with one of my ideas. Well now I'm going to hurt you with silence. ->-

I've been trying to concentrate on how selfish you are, how mean you've been, how thoughtlessly you treated me, how casually you hurt me. I've been trying to convince myself you're not at all the person i thought you were. I'm trying to get you out of my head. And still i wake up in the morning dreaming of you.
I wish i could forget you.

You have no idea how much you mean to me right now. There are not many men out there that are like you. I always look forward to our texting conversations every day.

I forgot to mention to you that I have updated the document for the audit (I added another diagram). If you open your email you will see that. If not, I'll remember to mention it to you tomorrow.

You did NOT have to yell at me! You asked me to wake you up at 6:30 so you could pick up your girlfriend. I did that, and instead you chose to fall asleep again. When you woke up, what did you do? You f***ing treated me like dog sh*t! That's not what siblings do, dammit! Be grateful that I tried! Also, when the hell are the two of you going to find your own place so I can no longer put up with you?

The only reason I'm not typing directly to you is because if I do it'll mean I'm weak. I've gone 48 days without responding to you and what I would call a rather nasty cheap shot email. You knew full well I was having a really bad time and I turned to you because you're you and that means more than anything. You don't have to say the right words or even be around for ages to comfort me and make things ok, all it takes is a hug and you know that but you couldn't even do that for me. I'm mad at you because you said you would talk to me properly because you respect me enough but no, you chose to tell me when I was at my worst and the way you did it was just f***ing nasty of you. That has to be the lowest I've ever viewed you. I still love you so much but it's not there for you anymore and I'm nothing. It physically hurts me every day that I have to force myself from talking to you ever again but I know if I ever do, things will just repeat themselves and I can't do that to myself anymore.

Right now I'm putting myself through hell by listening to "Set the Fire to the Third Bar" because it's so heavily you related and yet I can't bring myself to stop playing it. All I feel like doing is hugging you and talking to you. You've really torn me up inside and the fact you believe it's Emma that's got me how I am and don't see just how much you caused, it's truly sad. I feel stupid because I have no idea if you ever really cared or not. I can't not care about you because you're that one special person that no one else is ever going to compare to and every thought and feeling is just killing me inside and you have no idea because you're so blinded by that waste of space you call a fiance. I hope one day you remember who it was that was there for you when you needed someone, when you cried on your birthday because that same guy had hurt you so much. Just so you know, I wish him dead. He's a nasty piece of work and the sooner you see it the better but I feel that's much too late now.