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ImAnAspie
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04 Feb 2015, 9:09 am

ImAnAspie wrote:
Sorry I'm posting so much but I'm living it up before I go into hospital and lose all contact with the outside world.

I've lost my family. I don't care much for them anymore after how they've abandoned me.

You guys are the ones I'll want to be able to get back to, especially Booyakasha. You're my kind. We share common traits.

I feel like I belong here more than I ever have with my family!





:(




It makes me cry to acknowledge that but it's true


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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

Formally diagnosed in 2007.

Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.



ImAnAspie
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04 Feb 2015, 9:21 am

And to answer a question I've been asked a million times or more by a million different phone/in person councilors I've seen/spoken to over the past few weeks is, "No, I have no plans of suicide."

I've always been slow at making plans.


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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

Formally diagnosed in 2007.

Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.



ImAnAspie
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04 Feb 2015, 9:27 am

ImAnAspie wrote:
And to answer a question I've been asked a million times or more by a million different phone/in person councilors I've seen/spoken to over the past few weeks is, "No, I have no plans of suicide."

I've always been slow at making plans.



They (my Psychiatrist, Psychologist and councilors ) almost seem like they care - except they're being paid to care. If they weren't being paid/saw you in the street, they wouldn't give you the time of day and I keep that in mind these days.

When I was younger and went and saw psychologists, I was very naive. I actually believed they cared. These days, I just use them to get stuff off of my chest and I don't care how much I burden them.

These days, it's all about me. They can suffer it, as much as I've suffered their world and them!!


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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

Formally diagnosed in 2007.

Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.



Last edited by ImAnAspie on 04 Feb 2015, 9:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

jk1
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04 Feb 2015, 9:32 am

ImAnAspie wrote:
As I've always said, I don't want to be had. I just want to be wanted!

I don't want anyone but not being wanted by 'ANYONE, EVER' hurts.

I can surely relate to this. It's as if I were invisible to other people.



ImAnAspie
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04 Feb 2015, 10:18 am

jk1 wrote:
ImAnAspie wrote:
As I've always said, I don't want to be had. I just want to be wanted!

I don't want anyone but not being wanted by 'ANYONE, EVER' hurts.

I can surely relate to this. It's as if I were invisible to other people.


Tell me about it!

That's our Aspie lot in life!


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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

Formally diagnosed in 2007.

Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.



Amity
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04 Feb 2015, 11:21 am

ImAnAspie wrote:
So many times, lately in my life, I catch myself saying, "I should have done ...x".

Ive had this thought quite a bit lately, a time machine would be so handy right now...
Anyway, I hope you have a restful stay in hospital, and that your health will be better soon, take care :heart:



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04 Feb 2015, 11:45 am

ImAnAspie wrote:
Sorry I'm posting so much but I'm living it up before I go into hospital and lose all contact with the outside world.

I've lost my family. I don't care much for them anymore after how they've abandoned me.

You guys are the ones I'll want to be able to get back to, especially Booyakasha.

WP inhabitants. You're my kind. We share common traits.

I feel like I belong here more than I ever have with my family!





:(


I feel similar to be quite honest....glad you found your place here among us! *hugs*



b9
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04 Feb 2015, 12:59 pm

i am replaying "empire earth" and in the latest mission i found a new strategy (as i usually do in every mission) that enabled me to overwhelm my opponents with ease.
the mission requires me to build a selection of buildings on cuba, and expand from there, but i was so powerful, i went on and annihilated cuba and hispaniola and the USA before i built the buildings on cuba.

i forgot that after i build the buildings on cuba, my previous army turns against me and only the USA can help me and since i annihilated it, i am at the mercy of my previous army which is unbeatable.

i must play the whole damned mission again and resist the temptation to eradicate the USA, and since i remember that once all the the required buildings on cuba are built, it triggers the desertion, i will kill all of my army before the last building on cuba is completed....but not tonight.



ImAnAspie
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04 Feb 2015, 2:36 pm

Amity wrote:
ImAnAspie wrote:
So many times, lately in my life, I catch myself saying, "I should have done ...x".

Ive had this thought quite a bit lately, a time machine would be so handy right now...
Anyway, I hope you have a restful stay in hospital, and that your health will be better soon, take care :heart:


Amity, it's only when you're in times of trouble do you find out who really cares about you. I thank you :heart:


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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

Formally diagnosed in 2007.

Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.



AnonymousAnonymous
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04 Feb 2015, 3:53 pm

I'm on my to class right now.


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ImAnAspie
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04 Feb 2015, 4:31 pm

Booyakasha wrote:
ImAnAspie wrote:
Sorry I'm posting so much but I'm living it up before I go into hospital and lose all contact with the outside world.

I've lost my family. I don't care much for them anymore after how they've abandoned me.

You guys are the ones I'll want to be able to get back to, especially Booyakasha.

WP inhabitants. You're my kind. We share common traits.

I feel like I belong here more than I ever have with my family!





:(


I feel similar to be quite honest....glad you found your place here among us! *hugs*


You're so nice :) I'll let you know when they're admitting me. I don't know yet myself. I'm waiting on a phone call for when they get a free bed.


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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

Formally diagnosed in 2007.

Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.



Bunmum
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04 Feb 2015, 6:18 pm

I. Sitting in the dark with my comforter, eating yougurt and drinking grape juice. IDK why but it feels right.



Edna3362
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04 Feb 2015, 6:53 pm

Up to now, I'm still confused in between... Both feelings keep on dragging me.
In between being sensitive and caring, and being insensitive and apathetic. Neither the two are 'strong' in my opinion unless it's a rather tact reaction. Or is it?


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Awilder
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04 Feb 2015, 7:21 pm

A video game can be fun when you can go around exploring various landscape as, long as you don't have malign characters trying to shoot at you..


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05 Feb 2015, 12:44 am

ImAnAspie wrote:
They (my Psychiatrist, Psychologist and councilors ) almost seem like they care - except they're being paid to care. If they weren't being paid/saw you in the street, they wouldn't give you the time of day and I keep that in mind these days.


i've got trouble trusting shrinks for that same reason you just said, there, and 'rent-a-friend' services in general. they are only in it for the good $$$ they get from it. i would much much rather spend my time with someone i had to exert actual effort to befriend, or whom i have met through happenstance. someone that has actually made me want to navigate the complexities of social interaction, to become closer to. not just currency out of my wallet. it's much more satisfying that way, to me.

big hugs.


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05 Feb 2015, 1:16 am

Mowing the yard in boxers and work boots, and the neighbors walk on by.

I love you, autism, I really do.