What's on your mind right now?

Post Reply New Topic

This damn wet patch on my upstairs carpet just outside the bathroom. It's not a leaking roof and the ceiling on the level just below the patch is fine. I hope this has nothing to do with using too much draino the other day

I fall hard

That cat from the neighbour's house is right next to my computer and I don't want her walking all over my keyboard.

Trying to find reasonable improvements when I play video games

how many words can i memorize in one month?/ ahm 9 words a day

or

it is better to memorize a whole song? that is a lot of words?

Thinking, about my continuous struggle with struggle with dysgraphia, and how they won't give me a IP. How inconvenient typing is. It is almost like my Dysgraphia affects my typing sometime, I just type a word wrongly, when I know how to spell it... It is really weird that is supposed to be the cure for Dysgraphia. I am a Dysgraphic autistic. Infact I was (mis?)diagnosed with Dysgraphia which. I think was a Mistake for autism.. Mostly, because my Developmental pace is very similar to a aspie except for one major difference. I have severe social phobia/anxiety, and in some ways social deficits due to anxiety. Like with people who, I'm not comfortable with.. I can't successively speak long speeches (Like for science project or something).. It's more socially impairing.. Though my milestones where before normal. Like, educated speech at age one. (Probably Echolalia before then) I walked early (So early I don't remember). Which is saying something considering the only things, I've ever forgotten other than the non important stuff. Is things that are trauma or abuse. Which I remember in full detail. It was very bad, for me especially as a kid. My mom who was (Probably a Sociopath) constantly beat me. It was especially bad, Because I'm especially sensitive to touch. I'm not sure if, I have Post-Traumatic Stress issues. Mostly, because On top of my social issues and anxiety related issues, it would be hard to tell. So, I assume I don't have it.. Mostly because most symptoms of my autism (A PDD-NOS That overlaps with autism. It is actually ironic. I love writing, but am Impaired in writing. This is basically one hug run on sentence rant where I often use spell correct. I infact often have problems typing keys in wrong patterns due to rushing. That or taking to much time. I love writing essays to.

My lack of impetus to study Java and my lack of employment prospects. Even menial factory work now seems appealing, and this is after almost committing suicide because of working in one for a few months. The unfriendly staff and strong aromas of sawdust are still lodged firmly in my memory.

I am terribly lost.

$76 billion is a lot of money to spend in one life i mean according to human short lifespan. that would be great if we were permanent or something.
. also all this money means nothing if u have a not good health. no one is protected against bad luck
also if i was that rich , the idea of death would depress the **** out of me . who wants to die and leave all that money.

being poor is bad luck . being very rich is not my thing . i want to be in the middle. i just don't want to be hungry.

$1 billion is a lot of money

Right at this moment, I have begun my 'pre-week' review where I plan, review, rehearse and prepare for all the things I must get to now that the holidays are over.

Getting worried

I was worried for five hours there and it passed somehow. I just stood around covering the one hand my friend ever held in candlewax; the flame was lost once so I lit three more. Thought I heard sirens but it's either my fishtank filter or neighbor's carpentry studio. Seems in some ways at least things are looking up for us. Tough times for sure but I believe we're all going to scrape through it together.

I can't thank any of you enough. I thrive under stupid amounts of pressure and I'm starting to think my friend passed through a mental gauntlet more than any other danger. I'm starting to think I met her so she could experiment on my mind, which not only is fine by me, it almost makes sense already since I was already my own lab rat in square one.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

My mind is on my friend...who isolates a lot like I do and this song he dedicated to me. I am not sure exactly what he means, but I know how it makes me feel....good.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv6dMFF_yts