Am I funny? Well, no, I'm not. Nobody has ever laughed at anything I've ever said. I've never cracked a joke in my life. In fact, I've never even cracked a smile in my life. When I was a young kid, my mother once thought she saw me smile but actually I was grimacing in pain because a wasp had stung my left buttock earlier that day. I do not even laugh at other people's misfortune because I don't know how to. I shun comedy. I despise those who laugh or smile. There is no place in this world for humour.
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"Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig."