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Make an extremely dark joke.

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SaveFerris
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20 Dec 2018, 4:28 pm

^You crossed the line Fnord , that is sick as f**k , reported


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IstominFan
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20 Dec 2018, 4:39 pm

What do you get when you cross a Spanish tennis player with a brand of chocolate?

A Juan Carlos Ferrero Rocher

(Not dark, just a little play on words)



Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 4:52 pm

Daughter: "Hey mom, how do you feel about abortion?"

Mother: "Ask your brother.”

Daughter: "But I'm an only ch ..."



Catlover5
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20 Dec 2018, 4:54 pm

Daughter: Mum, do you think I'm pretty?
Mum: What does your boyfriend think?
Daughter: What boyfriend?
Mum: Exactly.



Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 5:01 pm

A priest, a rabbi, and a protestant minister are standing by the side of the road, putting up a sign that reads:

"The End Is Near! Turn Yourself Around Before It's Too Late!"


As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nutjobs!"

From the curve, they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The priest turns to the others and asks, "See? I told you the sign should just say 'Bridge Out'!"



TW1ZTY
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20 Dec 2018, 5:13 pm

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envirozentinel
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20 Dec 2018, 5:17 pm

In a new movie about the girl in red who visits her sick granny in the woods, the wolf gets her this time. The title: Little Dead Riding Hood.


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SaveFerris
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20 Dec 2018, 5:18 pm

Dark tennis joke for Istominfan

Q: What is the definition of endless love?

A: Helen Keller & Andrea Bocelli playing tennis


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Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 5:18 pm

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Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 5:22 pm

Hagar the Horrible
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SaveFerris
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20 Dec 2018, 5:36 pm

I don't think this gallow humour is appropriate , when I went to the library and asked for a book on how to hang yourself , the librarian told me to get knotted as I wouldn't bring it back


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Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 5:49 pm

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IstominFan
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20 Dec 2018, 5:52 pm

SaveFerris:

I've heard that one with Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles, too.

Not related, but also having to do with tennis:

Why is a relationship with a tennis player doomed to failure?

Because in tennis, love means nothing.



SaveFerris
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20 Dec 2018, 6:21 pm

IstominFan wrote:
SaveFerris:

I've heard that one with Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles, too.

Not related, but also having to do with tennis:

Why is a relationship with a tennis player doomed to failure?

Because in tennis, love means nothing.



Yeah , I copied that joke and was about to post it but re-read it and thought as I said it was dark humour and the joke contained two black men it might of been seen as racist so I changed it.


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lostonearth35
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20 Dec 2018, 6:40 pm

I was going to tell a joke about a frog in a blender but decided animal cruelty was *too* dark, and now I'm photos of *real* animals frozen and dead. 8O



Fnord
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21 Dec 2018, 9:22 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
I was going to tell a joke about a frog in a blender but decided animal cruelty was *too* dark, and now I'm photos of *real* animals frozen and dead.
Googling for "Dark Comedy" led me to This Wikipedia Article:
Quote:
Black comedy, also known as dark comedy or gallows humor, is a comic style that makes light of subject matter that is generally considered taboo, particularly subjects that are normally considered serious or painful to discuss. Comedians often use it as a tool for exploring vulgar issues, thus provoking discomfort and serious thought as well as amusement in their audience. Popular themes of the genre include death and violence (murder, suicide, abuse, domestic violence, graphic violence, rape, torture, war, genocide, terrorism, corruption), discrimination (chauvinism, racism, sexism, homophobia), disease (anxiety, depression, nightmares, drug abuse, mutilation, disability, terminal illness, insanity), sexuality (sodomy, homosexuality, incest, infidelity, fornication), religion, and barbarism. ... (more) ...
So you see that opening a thread devoted to "Extremely Dark Jokes" lets in a lot of topics that would otherwise not be covered. I applaud those who have posted so far for showing as much restraint as they have, since covering every aspect of Dark Humor would likely get everyone in this thread banned and the entire thread consigned to oblivion.