Your Favourite Simpsons Quotes

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Lisa: Mom! Dad! Mr. Burns is a vampire! and he has Bart!
Mr. Burns: Why, Bart is right here.
Bart: Hello, mother. Hello, father. I missed you during my ineventful absence.
Homer: Oh Lisa, You and your stories! Bart is a vampire! Beer kills brain cells! Now let's go back to that... building... thingy... where our beds and TV... is.
From Treehouse of Horror IV.

Marge : Why so many bowling balls?
Homer : I am not going to lie to you, Marge...... Well, good bye.

(on a parade float)

2,000 Years of Irish Cops

" i know i shouldn't eat thee but...(homer eats waffle stuck to ceiling that he thinks is God), mmm scarelious"

sign says die homer screams, tree moves out of way revealing that sign says diet. homer screams again!

"Mr. Plow, that's my name. That name again, is Mr. Plow!" -Homer

There will never be anyone else quite like Homer Simpson.

Some old guy (grandpa's friend I suspect) meets up in a car crash but wont reach out with his designer jacket :"I'd rather die, then not let people know where I shop"

Mr. Burns: I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant.

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Mr.Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers:You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr.Burns: Precisely.

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Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

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(someone throws a rock through Mr. Burns`s office window)

Mr. Burns: Smithers look, a bird has become petrified and lost its way.

Last edited by ImTheGuyThatDidThat on 10 Aug 2008, 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart,
Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him..

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Homer: Homer no function beer well without

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Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've
seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening

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Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman

You rhyme like Snoopy Dog.

(Russian exchange student staying in Flanders' spare bedroom)

USA USA USA USA USA!! !! !
Homer

(Also USA just beat France in 4X100m Men Freestyle Relay. So Eat It France!! !! !!)

now that i think of it, the writers of the Simpsons REALLY do not like France, do they?

- "Bonjour-r-r, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"

- "Homer, what's your least favorite country? Italy or France?"
- "Hmmm...France."
- "Nobody ever says Italy."

- "I don't think he's coming with the money."
- "Should we complain to somebody?"
- "No! I say ve just act snooty to Americans, FOREVER!"

^
good ones especially the last one


Homer:

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand

"It was the best of times it was the BLURST of times?! You stupid monkey!"
"Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na leader!"
"Mmmm... Sixty-five slices of American cheese."

Wheee! Simpsons quotes!
Some of my favorites:
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HOMER: They'll be FLANDERESSESSESESES!! !

HOMER'S BRAIN:Eathepuddingeatthepuddingeatthepuddingeatthepuddingeatthepuddingeatthepudding....

SCULLY: Mr. Simpson, we're going to ask you to answer a series of simple questions. Do you understand?
HOMER: Yes. (Lie detector blows up)

MULDER: Wait, Scully. what's the point of THIS test?
SCULLY: No point. I thought he could just stand to loose a lil' weight...
MULDER: His...jiggling is almost... HYPNOTIC...


LIONEL HUTZ: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

RALPH WIGGUM: Me fail English? That's unpossible! D: *I want this on a t-shirt SO BAD!*

RALPH: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

BART: Go orange!
NELSON: Go grapefruit!
RALPH: Go Banana!

HOMEr: Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

HOMER: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."

HOMER: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

BART: B-6
HOMER: You sunk my scrabbleship!
LISA: This game makes no sense.
HOMER: tTell that to the good men who just lost their lives... SEMPER-FI!

APU: Please do not offer my god a peanut.

HOMER: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

MR.BURNS: Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! [cackles evilly, then stops abruptly] There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?
SMITHERS: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder...

MR.BURNS: Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons!

GRAMPA SIMPSON: When you get to be my age, you see death stalkin' ya 'rpund ever corner-DEAAAAAAAATH!
LISA: That's just the dog, Grampa.
GRAMPA: Heh-heh. When yer old, the mind start's playin' tricks on ye-DEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAATH!
LISA: That's Maggie.
GRAMPA: Oh, right! Heh-AHH! DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH!

HANS MOLEMAN: Welcome to Morning Moleman. Good Moleman to you. And now for another installment of the crushing monotomy that is my liiiiife...

PRESIDENT SCHWARTZENADDER: I was elected to LEAD, not READ!

Nelson=Haha
Grounds Keeper willie=There's nary animal alive that can out run a greased scottsman
CBG=Worst episode ever!
Homer=Donuts, is there anything they can't do?, Doh!, Wo-hoo!
Mister Smithers=Exceellent, It's customary to give employees the plague
Milhouse=It's cooler then a million dead bodies!
Bart=Look out Radioactive man! Oh my overies

Take this, you lousy dimension!

Mmm, snouts!

Mmm, pistol whip! (I can't see the words ''pistol whipped'' in the news without cracking up!)

Mistah Spahklu will banish dirt to the land of wind and ghosts!

My cat's name is Mittens!

''it smells like hot dogs in here!'' ''That's the smell of justice, son!''

Where's my Tab?

Disrespectful to dirt!