List combos of any two items that would freak out a cashier

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barber
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30 May 2007, 5:21 am

a shotgun and stan remover

Quatermass
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30 May 2007, 5:38 am

Alternative wrote:

Quatermass wrote:

Glace cherries and lots of baby oil. Watch the second episode of the second series of The League of Gentlemen to find out why....

ROFL.

You know I'm a big fan as well.

I'd forgotten what shows you liked. You know I'm talking about Alvin Steele at the supermarket, and Iris looks at the items and sort of encourages him. Gatiss vs Gatiss....

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0_equals_true
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30 May 2007, 6:34 am

ofal and a pair of tights

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30 May 2007, 6:44 am

0_equals_true wrote:

ofal and a pair of tights

Are we talking some strange paraphilia, or just a more malodorous variation of the time-honoured comedy tradition of putting various messes down one's trousers?

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0_equals_true
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30 May 2007, 6:52 am

Quatermass wrote:

0_equals_true wrote:

ofal and a pair of tights

Are we talking some strange paraphilia, or just a more malodorous variation of the time-honoured comedy tradition of putting various messes down one's trousers?

I don't know. it's not Like I actually buy this stuff :lol:

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30 May 2007, 7:03 am

0_equals_true wrote:

Quatermass wrote:

0_equals_true wrote:

ofal and a pair of tights

Are we talking some strange paraphilia, or just a more malodorous variation of the time-honoured comedy tradition of putting various messes down one's trousers?

I don't know. it's not Like I actually buy this stuff :lol:

Basically, is it to put down your trousers for a laugh? Or for perverse pleasure?

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0_equals_true
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30 May 2007, 7:08 am

Quatermass wrote:

0_equals_true wrote:

Quatermass wrote:

0_equals_true wrote:

ofal and a pair of tights

Are we talking some strange paraphilia, or just a more malodorous variation of the time-honoured comedy tradition of putting various messes down one's trousers?

I don't know. it's not Like I actually buy this stuff :lol:

Basically, is it to put down your trousers for a laugh? Or for perverse pleasure?

Quatermass for the second time I haven't thought it through. Why are you policing this thread? It would be shocking to a checkout girl/boy ok. :roll:

In fact why don't you try it see what happens.

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30 May 2007, 7:33 am

I do not intend to. Anyway, blue jokes with this sort of humour is a bit cheap. If you use your imaginations, what else can shock your checkout operator?

Offal and a pair of tights is funny and shocking, but I was wondering your intent. In my previous posts that I didn't explain well enough:

*Senekot and a chocolate mud cake: (well, I should've said cake ingredients) bake a cake with senekot inside, give it to an enemy. Senekot, for those of you not in the know, is a type of laxative.

*Cheap plonk and a biography of Roald Dahl's life: Ok, a bit obscure. Dahl used to drink all the fine wine, then as a prank, fill it up with plonk and watch the reactions at the later party, where guests would compliment the 'fine wine'.

*Coca-Cola and waterproof clothing: Coke grenades, 'nuff said.

*DVD of an awful movie and duct tape: Obvious really....

*Pet food and a cookbook: Obvious, but try and drool at the petfood....

*DIY Brewery kit and methylated spirits: This is to imply, rather than do, that you'll adulterate your home brew with metho.

*Tabasco and a fork: Apply tabasco to the tines of the fork. 'Nuff said.

*A pencil and a stopwatch: Well, this quotation from the Blackadder episode "Ink and Incapability" should clear this up:

Ink and Incapability wrote:

Baldrick:...I'll go to hell forever for stealing.

Blackadder: Baldrick, believe me, eternity in the company of Beezlebub and all his hellish minions will be a picnic compared to 5 minutes with me and this pencil if we can't replace this dictionary.

That's all I can be bothered explaining tonight....

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devunea
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30 May 2007, 8:40 am

emergancy contraceptive and a bige ole box of condoms.
they look at me crazy, every single time.

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blue_bean
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30 May 2007, 10:08 am

Surgical gloves and a powertool set (backyard brain surgery anyone? )

.........Sorry, that's all the ideas I got

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30 May 2007, 10:15 am

Vaseline and a toilet plunger!

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JakeG
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30 May 2007, 12:13 pm

Quatermass wrote:

Graelwyn wrote:

ChrissandraChrissamba wrote:

A vibrator and flavoured condoms.

Can we keep off the blue jokes?

Can we keep off the supercilliousness and pomposity?

Seriously, I didn't even find the sexual jokes that funny but I can't be the only one here fed up of your constant stream of condescending and patronising posts all over the forums. Let people make the gags they want; I find them funnier then your constant references to British comedy episodes that everyone has seen on TV about 6,000 times. It is like when I was at school and some kid I didn't know came up to me in class and said 'Oh did you see the Young Ones last night? Rick said this and then Vivian said this and...blah blah' HINT: It was funnier when Rik Mayall said it.

Oh, and whilst we are at it, you know the phrase 'omnia dicta fortiora si dicta Latina'? Well, it is meant to be ironic, so don't take it so literally in all of your posts.

Cryowolf
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30 May 2007, 12:42 pm

A big meat cleaver and the book "How to disperse of a body"

JonnyBGoode
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30 May 2007, 12:48 pm

Lollipops and a trenchcoat.

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JakeG
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30 May 2007, 12:53 pm

Brandy and a baby's bottle

0_equals_true
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30 May 2007, 1:09 pm

Quatermass wrote:

Ink and Incapability wrote:

That's all I can be bothered explaining tonight....

Intent is often irrelevant; I no longer have ownership people can think what they like. Actually I think your cheapening yours by explaining them. Do you think that when somebody looks at a picture they think of it the same way as the artist or somebody else? No. Why should they? Even if there is some background information your not trusting people to find out.

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