What's on your mind right now?

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i have severe depression but i don't want to be medicated.. and im having a strong episode right now..

You don't need medicine. I have been depressed and attempted suicide almost every way I could think of that didn't scare me (being paralyzed or otherwise seriously injured is a step below being depressed and healthy after all).

Just take a step back. You need to take pride in who you are, take control over your life and give yourself the respect you deserve. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks....at least not until you have a good enough grip on your own sanity to be able to deal with them without slumping back into depression.

thank you and hi Pistonhead.. well.. im not suicidal but feeling like this makes death sound like heaven but i'm not going to do anything about it. its not about other people im depressed about right now, i dont care much about it anymore, i have fixed some and i have found ways for the others.. i just automatically grieve for losing my aspie and today its very immobilizing.. (he didn't die; u know what i mean..) the only thing i feel so powerless to fix which meant a lot to me.. i'm sorry i'm still about it..

That's what you have to work past. My method for doing so is analyzing it logically. Being depressed, immobilized, etc. These things do not make me happy, they do not accomplish things that make me happy. I just refuse to do them. I think forward and I go forward. I don't think I hit too far off the mark of my assumption of why you are depressed, it's still interpersonal stuff that's got you down. Thing is though true happiness (in my experience) comes from YOU not anybody else.

I would like my husband to not be driving across the country this weekend.

i can do and i do that sometimes.. but today i just woke up again like this and it was very overwhelming. i could feel my heart starting to beat faster and heavier. and about happiness from myself, i know what u mean. my main depression about all of this is how i was not understood or given a chance then how much i failed or have gone wrong or done badly when i kinda know i could have done better..

there are like knives driving through my chest right now..
i havent eaten anything yet.. i'm hungry i want pizza.. but i dont really want to eat or move or breathe..

WRONG ANSWER. Failed is a bad word. You make mistakes, you learn from them. Order a large pizza and begin a life of self indulgence.

lol.. the all caps kinda scared me and made me chuckle.. thank you Pistonhead..
but i dont even know where i went wrong, i dont know what i should learn. though i kinda know the avenues where i could find learning but these knives! and i kinda want to know the exact or right lesson. i really want some pizza but i dunno what else to indulge upon.. depression makes me stooopid, it sucks..

I don't know what there is for you to learn either. You might not have ever been wrong. I don't even really like the concept of calling rights and wrongs in relationships, people just don't do everything right (though sometimes they cross the line, then I just call them names and don't feel sorry for it). You'll figure out what else you want to indulge in with time, concentrate on the things that you are good at and make you happy. If you don't have anything that fits that description find out what it is or they are and do these things!

yeah, me too.. though this i cant do..



i know.. thank you.. i'm just really uninterested and indifferent right now too..

maybe, i was just always hit or severely punished as a child whenever i've done something wrong that i'm so scared to make mistakes and made me take it too hard on myself when i've done them..

It's a new day.

What I'm going to do this weekend as, i'm undecided as such...

That much of the time I am never good enough for people, but the minute I show any success at anything, they get jealous.

bruce lee..

& rope. but unconnected, though there is a connection to be found.

Someone said rope, now I forgot what I was going to say.

The new 85 speed limit in Texas, and how many jerks are going to ride my bumper in the freeway going 100.