Men's Discussion

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As a male, it's really hard sometimes to keep myself calm. That's the biggest problem

Men are held to a much higher standard for remaining calm, because they are presumed dangerous. Boys also get less training in managing emotions - they are expected to just remain stunted. Once aroused, aspies have a strong tendency to re-live stressful situations, trying to understand them, or just with a persistent amygdala system always kicking in along with the memory. I avoid stress when I can, and find that meditation does a great job at cleaning up the residue, although I have to use the process without understanding it. Getting plenty of sleep is very important, too.

Lately, I've been getting dunned with an ad that starts off with the dialogue "Women will be silent no more!" Just curious, wondering if anybody can remember when women were silent?

only in "The Little Mermaid"

I go to the mountains: chop wood, have a fire, wash in freezing water, identify plants and trees

^^^how masculine

I'll pass this on to a couple of prospectors I know. I'm sure that Donna will be impressed.

it would be nice if there were masculine nice men. i'm not so sure there are any here. the ones people notice in any case, are just macho.

I certainly consider myself one. If I thought people were interested here, I'd describe masculinity, as distinct from wealth, which has been the actual focus of most of the abuse.

Hello Hello
well, how do guys cope with masculinity, but in any way)
I'm struggling and trying to be strong and I try to do everything for this

how much more is there to masculinity other than the absence of femininity? i know in my that masculine doesn't have to be macho [stereotypical strutting and preening]. my sis' hub is definitely masculine, all man. out-doorsman and mountain climber/marathoner. until recently rail thin and fit as a fiddle. but he likes cats. does that count against masculinity?

You seem stuck in superficial stereotypes from the ad world. Liking cats is fine. I'm rushed now, but try reading "If" by Rudyard Kipling.

am familiar with the work, i guess by that definition most would fall short.

^^^^ For more background, check out sociobiology, and the distinct reproductive strategies of males and females. Humans have a male-female relationship that produces 10% of children being misinformed about who their fathers are, overall. This is low enough to keep men involved in parenting, but high enough to keep the gene pool fresh, and not waste the sterile men who make good fathers, nor the heroes and traders who don't.

There's nothing unmanly about cuddling a crying little boy, nor unwomanly about camping. However, those activities are more often associated with the opposite gender because we tend to specialize in a partnership. It is easier to decipher our genetic predispositions from the simple example of one family. We evolved in small groups, but at various points, single surviving families have had all we needed to get through a disaster.
If you had a wife and three small children, she would have to stay home with them, if only for nursing. Indeed, women are better at endurance, repetition, and multitasking. You need more strength for peak moments such as defending the home or hunting, but you also need a tendency to stop and think things out. Your wife needs to work the kids up from fairy tales to reality, and be very kind to the helpless, but you have to stay in reality, making life and death decisions. You have to deal with your peers, not your dependants, so openness and honesty are needed.

it's the "keeping your head while those around you are losing theirs" part that most people fail. i know i don't have the parenting or leadership genes.