Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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I went to visit my grandma in the hospital today, but she couldn't talk because she needs to be hooked up to a respirator and it's really hard to talk when you have a hose going down your throat and can't control your breathing. She just looked at me and cried silently while we held hands. I hadn't visited her for nearly a month because it's really painful to see her in this state. On the other hand, I imagine she feels much like I did any of the times when noone visited me after being arrested so I'll be seeing her whenever I'm allowed to from now on. It made me think of the music video for One by Metallica, but unlike the guy in the video she's not in control of her movements. She's always just shaking involuntarily.

Because of that, she can't read a book, use a tablet or do just about anything to keep herdelf occupied other than look around her room and occasionally out at the rest of the ICU... just as she has for the past few months... The african woman taking care of her seems very nice though. Her name is spelled Afaf and I can't pronounce it correctly...

The people at the hospital almost didn't let me into the ICU at all because I was coughing and wheezing, but I assured them it was just lung tissue damage from sleeping in a room with strong chemical vapors and they let me in after I disinfected my hands and agreed to wear a mask the entire time I was visiting.

We all consciously understand that everyone we love will inexorably die at some point, but it's never as clear as when you actually see someone you love dying. I was just selfish enough to hope that I'd be spared from watching it because my lifestyle would kill me before my parents or even grandparents died. The first time anyone deliberately pointed a loaded gun at me (as opposed to simple lack of muzzle discipline), I was 12 years old. The first time anyone over held a knife to my throat, I was 13 years old. Once when I was 15 and the police came for me after allegations had been made against me that wouldn't be contradicted (because the person assaulting my image scares the sh** out of all the witnessess and myself to be perfectly honest) I begged an armed officer in black body armor to just shoot me... In a way this is very selfish, but I really wish I was the one dying instead of her...

it is almost saturday.......then we get a reprieve. Mine comes with a late change tomorrow arvo, yours will be a few hours after that.

This heat makes me unhappy. Today my city was the hottest city in the world.

Still one more day of heat and tomorrow works starts again after the break. Here's why I'm unhappy. My car's broken. The last time that happened I could just catch the train to work but now they've shut down the Tonsley line so I'll have to take a circuitous bus route with much waiting for transfers in unsheltered bus stops. Thanks to our wonderful government who spent millions to upgrade the Tonsley line and then just before work was completed decided to shut it down.

That's another thing that makes me unhappy, the government. I still in shock that anyone could've voted for the mad monk. The last time a country was run by a mad monk was imperial Russia and look how they turned out. Sure some of our other prime ministers haven't been all that great but this is the first time I think we've had one who's literally insane.

this is why i drive and also have a motorbike. unless you live within 10km's of the city, the transport system sucks.