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xxZeromancerlovexx
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04 Jul 2016, 11:28 am

I've been doing terrible lately. I just need to pretend to be happy I guess.


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kazanscube
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04 Jul 2016, 11:33 am

Pretend to be happy, why is that?


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Lillikoi
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04 Jul 2016, 11:38 am

dcj123 wrote:
Well that was short live, crying again and the sun is started to come up here.

I think I am just going to give up, suck it in like I do every night and press on as a broken as usual.

I need to go back to being selfish, for me there are two opinions and that is care about people and recognize that I have hurt some people and not live with myself or not care and be free. I guess you can see why I try and be selfish and really its deeper then just oh I upset some people. Its that I don't intend to hurt people and a lot of times I am clueless until someone has told me they have been hurt. One of many examples was my last church, I didn't realize the pastor's family had a grudge against until there was a huge confrontation and their reason for it was valid. I just didn't mean to do what I essentially caused to happen.

This is my whole life, from school to college to work to family to church and beyond. I never see the problem with my actions until its too late. I have never threatened anyone with violence but I have however said things that would logically make people uncomfortable. I never stole until I couldn't eat. I never did anything malicious to anyone's network but I have hacked the hell out of people. I have never hurt anyone but I have stood by and done nothing in violent situations. And you get the idea, I look back and I see that I have alienated people and I hurt people and I have hurt their trust but the reason it all hurts so much is I never ever meant to hurt anyone. I just wanted a place to fit in with peers and now all my peers curse me and wish me for dead when I wanted to do right by people. I just didn't think and now I am alone.

:(

I don't talk to people much, but it makes me sad to hear people say stuff like that.
I can't relate to that exact feeling, but I know being lonely feels like s**t and I just wanna wish you a good day.

If you don't mind hugs, please accept a virtual hug from me.((hugs))


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xxZeromancerlovexx
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04 Jul 2016, 11:41 am

kazanscube wrote:
Pretend to be happy, why is that?


I try to express how I feel. I listen to other people's problems nonstop. When I talk about my problems people don't listen and make me feel guilty. If I pretend to be happy, maybe people won't have to put up with my problems when I hear about their problems all the time. They say "I'm not talking to you" when I express any emotion. Maybe I should stop talking all together.


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kazanscube
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04 Jul 2016, 11:43 am

not saying anything does not help but, exacerbates the trouble ten fold. Don't give up.


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xxZeromancerlovexx
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04 Jul 2016, 11:45 am

kazanscube wrote:
not saying anything does not help but, exacerbates the trouble ten fold. Don't give up.


Thanks :)


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kazanscube
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04 Jul 2016, 11:48 am

Your sincerely & honorably welcome xxZeromancerlovexx


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xxZeromancerlovexx
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04 Jul 2016, 12:09 pm

All we do is fight. If I had a place to go I'd move out and become estranged by choice.


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kazanscube
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04 Jul 2016, 12:12 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
All we do is fight. If I had a place to go I'd move out and become estranged by choice.



Not sure as to what to say to this except, you simply do your best as possible.


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Lantylam
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04 Jul 2016, 12:22 pm

My back aches having spent most of the day cutting my garden hedge. :(



kazanscube
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04 Jul 2016, 12:23 pm

Lantylam wrote:
My back aches having spent most of the day cutting my garden hedge. :(


You have a small garden, I take it?


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Lantylam
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04 Jul 2016, 12:26 pm

I've barely started. I leave most of my hedge to a farmer with an industrial hedge cutter attached to his tractor. I just trim up the hedge around my house. In all I've probably got nearly a mile of hedging.



kazanscube
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04 Jul 2016, 12:30 pm

Lantylam wrote:
I've barely started. I leave most of my hedge to a farmer with an industrial hedge cutter attached to his tractor. I just trim up the hedge around my house. In all I've probably got nearly a mile of hedging.



That is a great deal of custodial lawn work of sorts.


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Lantylam
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04 Jul 2016, 12:32 pm

The principle lawn mowers are sheep. :lol:



kazanscube
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04 Jul 2016, 12:33 pm

Lantylam wrote:
The principle lawn mowers are sheep. :lol:




laughs, you must live in the South of France?


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CockneyRebel
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04 Jul 2016, 12:51 pm

I can't believe that Germany is the most popular country in the world today. It's not such a dark country after all. Don't worry, I won't tell my mum. I'll be keeping that one to myself instead. :)


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