List combos of any two items that would freak out a cashier

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Apatura
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30 May 2007, 3:58 pm

The problem with this game is that it tends to go in the gutter pretty quickly.



nutbag
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30 May 2007, 4:39 pm

1. I know it was long ago, but Vaseline IS flamable. It is a petroleum product. You would need a wick. . .a hamster's fur would do nicely.

2. Good combo: DVDs of "An Inconvenient Truth" and barf bags

3. Aquarium fish and a box of Shake n Bake

4. muffin mix and buckshot

5. fava beans and a DVD of "Silence of the Lambs"

6. Antidepressants and ammunition

7. local restaurant guide and rat poison


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30 May 2007, 4:47 pm

A canister of Propane gas and a lighter.


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30 May 2007, 4:49 pm

JakeG wrote:
Let people make the gags they want; I find them funnier then your constant references to British comedy episodes that everyone has seen on TV about 6,000 times. It is like when I was at school and some kid I didn't know came up to me in class and said 'Oh did you see the Young Ones last night? Rick said this and then Vivian said this and...blah blah' HINT: It was funnier when Rik Mayall said it.

Oh, and whilst we are at it, you know the phrase 'omnia dicta fortiora si dicta Latina'? Well, it is meant to be ironic, so don't take it so literally in all of your posts.


I didn't know the phrase until I looked it up, but I use Latin not just to say profound things, but also as stealth insults. If you want this yourself, why don't you get a book called Extreme Latin by Henry Beard?

And as for my annoying people with British comedy references, I have had this happen in real life. However, certainly you have annoyed people in real life by constantly referring to whatever your interests are, hmm? So your annoyance at me being repeatedly quoting British comedy is the pot calling the kettle black, most likely. If you want, I will no longer post in this thread. As Apatura said, it goes into the gutter PDQ.

0_equals_true, I have long found out that people need information or they do not understand. And intent can often be relevant, though that in the case of this thread, it probably isn't. I apologise for pissing you off.


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0_equals_true
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30 May 2007, 4:50 pm

nutbag wrote:
1. I know it was long ago, but Vaseline IS flamable. It is a petroleum product. You would need a wick. . .a hamster's fur would do nicely.

I stand corrected nutty, yes it needs a direct flame. It does not produce enough vapours at room temp. Not all petroleum products are that flammable though. Depends what your classification of flammable and the flash point. A lot of things melt until much higher temperatures.



0_equals_true
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30 May 2007, 4:56 pm

Quatermass wrote:
0_equals_true, I have long found out that people need information or they do not understand. And intent can often be relevant, though that in the case of this thread, it probably isn't. I apologise for pissing you off.

That's ok. I was a bit agro, didn't get why you picked up on me especially. Yep I with you on the explaining things but usually for factual things. I can go endlessly is somebody asks me a question. My shrink said to hold back some info because if they are interested they will ask. Buts sometimes I just need to be clear can't be arsed with that NT stuff.



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30 May 2007, 5:01 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
Quatermass wrote:
0_equals_true, I have long found out that people need information or they do not understand. And intent can often be relevant, though that in the case of this thread, it probably isn't. I apologise for pissing you off.

That's ok. I was a bit agro, didn't get why you picked up on me especially. Yep I with you on the explaining things but usually for factual things. I can go endlessly is somebody asks me a question. My shrink said to hold back some info because if they are interested they will ask. Buts sometimes I just need to be clear can't be arsed with that NT stuff.


The reason why I picked up on you was a mixture of disgust and morbid curiosity, hence my wanting an explanation.


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Anubis
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30 May 2007, 5:02 pm

A razor blade and an MCR album.


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JakeG
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30 May 2007, 5:08 pm

Quatermass wrote:
JakeG wrote:
Let people make the gags they want; I find them funnier then your constant references to British comedy episodes that everyone has seen on TV about 6,000 times. It is like when I was at school and some kid I didn't know came up to me in class and said 'Oh did you see the Young Ones last night? Rick said this and then Vivian said this and...blah blah' HINT: It was funnier when Rik Mayall said it.

Oh, and whilst we are at it, you know the phrase 'omnia dicta fortiora si dicta Latina'? Well, it is meant to be ironic, so don't take it so literally in all of your posts.


I didn't know the phrase until I looked it up, but I use Latin not just to say profound things, but also as stealth insults. If you want this yourself, why don't you get a book called Extreme Latin by Henry Beard?


The point is that you can sometimes come across as a sanctimonious git. Why do you want to insult people with stealth? Do you think people can't work out what you are trying to say when you post Latin phrases? The point of 'omnia dicta...' is that by insulting in Latin; you don't sound any more intelligent or witty i.e. a rose is still a rose by any other name and so is a 'f**k you' or a 'shut the f**k up'. Nobody is fooled, they are just left wondering what the point of posting in Latin is.

I took Latin in school and have no wish to read 'Extreme Latin' or use it for the purpose of making insults.

Quatermass wrote:
And as for my annoying people with British comedy references, I have had this happen in real life. However, certainly you have annoyed people in real life by constantly referring to whatever your interests are, hmm? So your annoyance at me being repeatedly quoting British comedy is the pot calling the kettle black, most likely. If you want, I will no longer post in this thread.


That wasn't the point; the point was that just because you have your own favourite style of comedy, it doesn't mean you can maneouvre every comedy or humorous thread into conforming to it. Other peoples' style of comedy annoys you and I was just pointing out that not everybody finds you funny either but I guess you just have to let people post what they want to and quit trying to control threads.

I tend not to annoy people in real life, I don't really speak to that many people. Unfortunately I tend to annoy people on the internet though but not on purpose. I wasn't having a go at your interests; I like a lot of British comedy too including a lot of shows you have mentioned e.g. Blackadder, Monty Python, The League of Gentlemen etc.

Quatermass wrote:
0_equals_true, I have long found out that people need information or they do not understand. And intent can often be relevant, though that in the case of this thread, it probably isn't. I apologise for pissing you off.


Well, as the adage goes, if you have to explain a joke... :wink:



Last edited by JakeG on 30 May 2007, 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CockneyRebel
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30 May 2007, 5:10 pm

Condoms and safety pins.



JakeG
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30 May 2007, 5:21 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
Condoms and safety pins.


LOL. Reminds me of the film Parenthood with Steve Martin and Rick Moranis:

"You purposefully tampered with a contraceptive device....how dare you!"



Quatermass
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30 May 2007, 5:34 pm

JakeG wrote:
Quatermass wrote:
JakeG wrote:
Let people make the gags they want; I find them funnier then your constant references to British comedy episodes that everyone has seen on TV about 6,000 times. It is like when I was at school and some kid I didn't know came up to me in class and said 'Oh did you see the Young Ones last night? Rick said this and then Vivian said this and...blah blah' HINT: It was funnier when Rik Mayall said it.

Oh, and whilst we are at it, you know the phrase 'omnia dicta fortiora si dicta Latina'? Well, it is meant to be ironic, so don't take it so literally in all of your posts.


I didn't know the phrase until I looked it up, but I use Latin not just to say profound things, but also as stealth insults. If you want this yourself, why don't you get a book called Extreme Latin by Henry Beard?


The point is that you can sometimes come across as a sanctimonious git. Why do you want to insult people with stealth? Do you think people can't work out what you are trying to say when you post Latin phrases? The point of 'omnia dicta...' is that by insulting in Latin; you don't sound any more intelligent or witty i.e. a rose is still a rose by any other name and so is a 'f**k you' or a 'shut the f**k up'. Nobody is fooled, they are just left wondering what the point of posting in Latin is.

I took Latin in school and have no wish to read 'Extreme Latin' or use it for the purpose of making insults.

Quatermass wrote:
And as for my annoying people with British comedy references, I have had this happen in real life. However, certainly you have annoyed people in real life by constantly referring to whatever your interests are, hmm? So your annoyance at me being repeatedly quoting British comedy is the pot calling the kettle black, most likely. If you want, I will no longer post in this thread.


That wasn't the point; the point was that just because you have your own favourite style of comedy, it doesn't mean you can maneouvre every comedy or humorous thread into conforming to it. Other peoples' style of comedy annoys you and I was just pointing out that not everybody finds you funny either but I guess you just have to let people post what they want to and quit trying to control threads.

I tend not to annoy people in real life, I don't really speak to that many people. Unfortunately I tend to annoy people on the internet though but not on purpose. I wasn't having a go at your interests; I like a lot of British comedy too including a lot of shows you have mentioned e.g. Blackadder, Monty Python, The League of Gentlemen etc.

Quatermass wrote:
0_equals_true, I have long found out that people need information or they do not understand. And intent can often be relevant, though that in the case of this thread, it probably isn't. I apologise for pissing you off.


Well, as the adage goes, if you have to explain a joke... :wink:


Sanctimonious git? While I do enjoy scatological humour, it is just too damned easy to do it in a thread like this. So it is a matter of creativity instead of morality.

As for Latin, I rarely explain what my posts mean. Merae fabulae sunt, et eas esse tales scis! You could understand what that means, and when people ask, I just tell them the (sanitised) truth: that the phrase means that there is a disconnection between reality and their statements. Besides, how many times does, say, Terry Pratchett put bad Latin into his Discworld novels, or Goscinny and Uderzo put Latin phrases into Asterix, and expect little kids to catch up?

Anyway, I do not maneouvre every humorous thread into my image. Most of the time, I just ignore them.

I am glad to see we share some interests. In fact, you might be interested to know that I recently managed to purchase the entire box-set of Monty Python's Flying Circus.

Unfortunately, I am a bit of a control freak..... :roll:

Now, if only this thread were three items.....


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Anubis
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30 May 2007, 5:40 pm

A combat knife and a balaclava.


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0_equals_true
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30 May 2007, 6:37 pm

Quatermass wrote:
The reason why I picked up on you was a mixture of disgust and morbid curiosity, hence my wanting an explanation.

You reading too much into it (dangerously so). I don't actually enjoy that s**t. The joke is it can have so many explanations...or not. I blame it on recently going to some London stand up. Though the stuff they do is a lot worse than that trust me.



Apatura
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30 May 2007, 7:09 pm

A vegan cookbook and the latest issue of "Field and Stream."



manalitwist
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30 May 2007, 7:14 pm

Book about Dennis Nielson and the largest cooks knife available.


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