Oh crap, my narcissist cousin is coming to stay for a week

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Any advice? My American cousin is coming up to stay for a week. We rarely have visitors, and when we do they are nice, and they only stay for a day. I still fair epically when it comes to small talk, I ended up talking for an hour about beans with my uncle *facepalm*. I don't even eat beans

Anyway, my cousin is a massive narcissist, the only thing she loves more than herself is humiliating and degrading other people. I have obvious social difficulties, so it wont be hard. I can't just lock my door and pretend she's not there, as that would be "rude" (even though she is too).

I hate talking about it, but two years ago I was at a "party" (fun fun fun) with my family, and my American relations were there. I tried to stay out of the way, but naturally my aunt tried to make me uncomfortable. She nagged me to go out and talk to people (which is impossible if you don't know what to say), and started trying to get me to drink. I know that in itself in harmless, but I have OCD tendencies: when I start I can't stop. I told her I didn't want to drink, she kept nagging and nagging. I was miserable, I just tried to keep out of the way after she left. Then my wise-ass cousin says "I'm sooo introverted". Again, it was the context in which it happened that pissed me off. I don't know why, but that whole night made me feel so hopeless and inadequate that I lost all emotion and personality after it and became detatched. Again it's a stupid trigger but that's what happened.

Now my cousins coming up for a week and is going to make my life hell. Any suggestions? I'm going foreign one day that week, but after that I don't know what to do. Sit out in a field on my own? (That actually sounds like a good idea, as sad as it is: )

Just don't talk to her. And if you must, be 100% honest.

If she says you are silly (or similar) because you're not talking, be honest and say "I don't want to talk to you. You don't need an explanation, just accept it and move on."

If she says you are being childish, say "That's not a problem for me."

If she says she needs an explanation, say "Why? You don't seem to appreciate the fact that I am unable to read contextual social cues. I don't have the capacity to keep explaining myself."

If she says anything hurtful, say "Ok." and go do something else. She doesn't govern your life and should absolutely not affect it in any negative way.

Never call her stuff or be yourself rude.

Uhm...can you move?

My deepest sympathies. I have such little patience for people like that.

Why don't you talk to your parents. Tell them you don't feel comfortable with a lot of the activities that they are planning, and arrange some "alone time" every day that you can escape to. Knowing that you have an escape can help you a lot. Good luck!! !

A true narcissist will leave you alone if they get no benefit from interacting with you. Unfortunately in a social situation this will require the co-operation of the others you are interacting with.

The true narcissists will interact with you if they believe the interaction can increase their standing with a more "important" person so they can achieve their goals more easily. The nature of the interaction can be very unpleasant for the subject in question, because the true narcissist is using everybody else.

Agreed. If OP can get the people she is around to ignore any reference the narcissist make about her the the narcissist will find another target. A narcissist tries to, and in the long term must, derive a benefit from all of their interactions. If the benefit dries up the narcissist moves on.

I have, but I understand they can't just say "she's not welcome", that would look very rude to the rest of the family. If she annoys me I'll do what Kenjuudo suggested, I'm don't like her so one word answers will stop her being bratty. I have no doubt she will insult me, that's actually how that family greet you: the first thing they say to is a cold-blooded insult (e.g they said to my sister, who was overweight at the time "haven't you gone big", or they say to me "you're so skinny!" ) She'll probably be staying up to about 12, so I'll try to be gone off to 9 every day, and I'll wait around a field till 10, and try pass myself for two hours.

Stay away from her as much as possible and ignore her. Take every opportunity to be away, like go for the grocery item that got forgotten, or whatever excuse. If your parents ask you why you're avoiding her, tell them she puts you down (or whatever term suits her behaviour best.)

Loud music in head phones and sunglasses tend to help put a barrier up, but you'll probably get asked to remove them so giving your cousin the cold shoulder and not reacting to brattiness would probably be my suggestion.

ask her where her narcissistic tendencies come from, and how theyre a sign of an unbalanced mind. then ignore her stone cold from that moment on.

there are many ways to ruin peoples "flow"

An important thing to remember is to never get angry. If you do, she wins.

I have complete control over my anger, so not a problem She's only about 14, so I can't tear her to shreds or insult her or anything, but she is a mirror image of her narcissist mother (and I don't just mean that as a passing insult, her mother is a true narcissist). Luckily my parents understand that I despise that side of my family, as do they, but they can't not let her come visit. On the plus side I found out that she'll only be here a few days, not a full week I think I'll be able to deal with, as long as I can sit out in the field away from her Hope the weathers not too bad

Remember this:

Your cousin is only 14, therefore whenever
she throws a fit, it is typical teenage behavior.

u ruin people flows? OH NOOOOO*backs away fast* i liked that chick

probably a good time to look up 'how to deal with narcissists' on the net, there's plenty of stuff out there.

If someone treats you without respect, you treat them the same, I can't stress that enough. Leave your room to say hello to the family BESIDES your narcissistic cousin. Totally ignore them, and go back into your room and stay there. Lock your door, what I do cos I don't have a lock is put the chair underneath the door knob to stop people entering.

Someone of that nature doesn't deserve your time or even the energy to talk to.

Personally I would warn them and the 2nd time I would get physical. Some people just don't understand a verbal warning...