What would you do if you were me?

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I have aspergers syndrome. The problem is in my friendship group there is this one guy who gets on my nerves and the thing is I am guessing I will probably have to be friends with him for at least another 20 years which is a long time. I don't know its not good that I have to hang around with somebody that get my blood boiling if you know what I mean. I am sure I probably annoy this guy a bit as well I will admit. I have known this guy since school as well. I haven't really got a choice because if I cut him off out out my life then I am cutting out all my other friends as well.

I think the other problem could be is that there is a ring leader in my friendship group which organises everything and bascily one or two other guys in my social group find other each ohter annoying at times. The ring leader of the group is a very friendly guy who dosen't have a problem with anybody in the group and does not put into consideration if one guy does not like another. No one really has a problem with me though.

Any sugguestions on what I can do perhaps. Thank you.

why do you have to be friends with him for the next 20 years?

I've a few people i've known for that long, but probably the longest friendship i have right now, that i communicate with on a regular basis is no more than 4.5-5 years.

willa well it all depends if I stick with the same social group for that long. You see the thing my farther has stuck with the same social group for 30 years so anythings possible. Personally I don't think I could handle 10 more years of being his friend.

How about having a frank conversation with “The ring leader”? Learn how he perceives the guy who gets on your nerves. The whole issue may just be a perception problem. If you can look at him the way he looks at him then you may see him the way he sees him.

I know the ring leader likes the guy who annoys me since I asked him once "Do you like him". And he said in a positive tone of voice "Yes". The ring leader of the group is a what I call 'a people person' and yes the leader of the group is my best friend as well. That said the ring leader does find some other people (outside of the friendship group) annoying as well. What gets on my nerves even more is that the ring leader brown noses the guy that irratates me.

Every group has a "ring leader" and people who are total w*kers. Join the local tennis club or the PTA and you will find the same bickering and pecking order.

What the heck is a friendship group anyway?

Make your own close group of friends. Haven't you seen Friends or Seinfeld?

I find those kinds of questions hard to answer, since I'm not in your exact situation so I wouldn't be able to evaluate it properly...but I've had two friends that I didn't like hanging around for different reasons. I'm not particular close to either of them anymore and don't really make an effort to see them (one moreso than the other because I feel that they were a destructive influence) but once in a while I do and I just deal with it. It's hard to figure out how to deal with tension within a group. I'm no help.