One Fine Sunday Afternoon...
The tackler crash dives Bobby Blofield, the big 47 ranger number seven draft pick from UCPTA squad region. The punter has a dab on the sideways on the forty three yard line. He pumbles the first sack with his seven iron. It's good. He's wide open. Looking to do a twenty three shut loop hole line play. He fakes. He fakes another fake. He fakes at not faking. He dummies to the decoy oft-defender. The linesman's watching. Bobby passes to Jack Muckrucker, captain of the Crompton Crawfish sponsored by the good people at Schmuck Electronics. If it's top quality electronics you're after, then you should see a Schmuck. Back to the game. It's 3rd and 10th. Now it's an option for a header by the Midwich offense runner. They take the option. It's optioned. They kick the ball. An extraordinarily original play. Hammerson charges with his lacrosse stick. He trips the Sprunklewood Defender. But the stick is now FAA approved regulation size. A seven minute red card penalty is called. A beige cloth is thrown in by the mid-field umpire. Special guest in the commentary box today, Justin Woods, who is staring in a new sitcom which is airing on this network tonight. Woods plays a big city lawyer who blah blah blah it's all the same crap you're seen before plus much much more. Midwich calls for a forty two second timeout. Coffee and tea will be served. Light cream and sugar substitute available. Crompton restarts the clock whilst nobody's watching. The full back forward kicks it. It goes through the net toward a big Y. IT LOOKS GOOD! IT IS GOOD! They score thirteen points with the limbo conversion to come. The Midwich Cuckoos convert to Scientology to score three points and collect the wooden duck. The umpire shoots off the half time bottle rocket. The score is Russian Vodkas 567 to DC Mitsubishis 2. But it's still anybody's game because points are worth double in the lightning round. Meanwhile in this game, the second half has just begun. And now it's over. God bless the Two Second Second Half rules. The Crompton Crawfish are now going to the South-North Western division play offs where they'll play the fifth ranked side based on dugout plays over the nine inning stretch. After that they're a good chance to make the Pacific Rim Cup challenge and take a shot at the World Series Super Premiership Bowl Cup. This will make the perfect addition to anyone's home and comes preassembled. Only 10,000 available. Just five easy payments of $12,999.99. And that's the game for this weekend. Stay tuned for the post game show where we just fill in half an hour's worth of boring commentary and repeat everything we just said for those who weren't paying attention. I've been some guy in a booth saying: "Goodnight and god bless".
20 Feb 2006, 9:37 pm
