Everybody's Worst Jokes?

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AspiRob
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02 Apr 2006, 1:47 am

What is everybody's worst joke? You know the jokes I mean - the ones that make you groan; the jokes that make you wonder if you should laugh or cry.

I'll start the ball rolling with the worst joke I have ever heard.......

A man walks into a seafood restaurant and after perusing the menu, calls to the waitress to order his meal. "I'll have the lobster tails", says the man. So the waitress sits on his lap and says, "Well, once upon a time there was a daddy lobster, a mommy lobster and a baby lobster........."

I still wince every time I hear this one told.

Rob

renaeden
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02 Apr 2006, 1:54 am

Ok, here's mine....

Some beans went on a holiday. Guess where they went?

Cairns.

(That's a place in Queensland.)

AspiRob
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02 Apr 2006, 2:14 am

renaeden wrote:

Ok, here's mine....

Some beans went on a holiday. Guess where they went?

Cairns.

(That's a place in Queensland.)

That is a shocker!! ! I am sort of laughing and crying at the same time!

Rob

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sc
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02 Apr 2006, 2:17 am

I used to say this over and over to people as the same joke..

A dog was walking down the street and noticed some chewed up bubble gum, then started eating the gum. The dog farted out a pink bubble.

the end.

Emettman
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02 Apr 2006, 3:01 am

(told to me by a child at work)

Why are pirates, pirates?

(I don't know, why...)

No reason, they just Arrr!

Nomaken
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02 Apr 2006, 6:30 am

Picture of two ameoba wearing clothes, one of them says, "Shirt's on fire! Now it's out."

Caption reads: "Humor at its lowest form."

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Shelob
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02 Apr 2006, 7:08 am

My all-time favorite: "What is more disgusting than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Finding half a worm". :lol:

Emettman
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02 Apr 2006, 9:45 am

Nomaken wrote:

Picture of...

I have that. It's fom a Gary Larson "Far Side" collection.
That man could tune in to my planet, or the other way around.

What do you call an Aardvark that loses a fight with another animal?

Vark.

Fiz
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02 Apr 2006, 2:21 pm

Here's a real crappy joke (not sure if its the worst one Ive heard as I've heard many but there you go).

A man walks into a bar.....ouch!

Hel
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02 Apr 2006, 5:21 pm

Two oranges are sat in a bar. One says to the other "your round".

CockneyRebel
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02 Apr 2006, 5:58 pm

Here's one that I tell, just to get peoples' attention.

What do you call Drugs from London?

London Drugs!

Tequila
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02 Apr 2006, 5:59 pm

Jimmy is walking along the road and he bumps into a man with a small orange as a head.

"Wow. How did you get that small orange as a head?" he asked.

"Well, it's a long story...you still wanna hear it?" replied the man.

"Sure."

"OK. Well I was walking down this road a couple of days ago when I came across this lamp. Naturally I rubbed it and, sure enough, a genie appeared and granted me three wishes."

"Wow! What did you wish for?"

"Well, my first wish was for all the money I could ever need..."

"Did you get it?"

"Of course. My second wish was to have all the women I could ever need to fulfil all my fantasies..."

"Wow! Amazing! What was your third wish then?"

"To have a small orange for a head..."