"Improper Gifting"

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I've been married for close to 20 years with an aspie. I am also an aspie. But everytime Christmas comes along, my husband will ask, "Soooo....what would you'd like for Christmas?"
Soooo....I tell him and here's his reply for the last 20 years, "ah...that's dumb...you don't really want that." Soooo....for the last twenty years I get a gift I don't want. Usually, he gets rip-offed too for something that I don't want. So, about a couple of years ago, he decides to go with the gift-card idea. But then he gets cards to places I don't want to shop at. I can't understand this man! I always pick put out something nice and reasonably priced...with exacting details of where it is being sold and on what isle it's in and on what shelf...but year after year, it comes to this. It would be different if the gift card would allow you to get something small and then get money change so you can go and get what you really want but they don't. You have to max out the card and go over its value in a store that you hate, buying things you don't even want, or end up buying for somebody else. Isn't a gift with your name on it supposed to be for you?

I'd be too delighted at the precise request to do any criticising, that's for sure.

That's annoying. I used to have someone in my family like that, but they were NT and I know they were trying to enforce their own rules of what I 'should' want.

In your case, I'm not really sure what to advise...except that I think I heard somewhere about a website that allows you to sell/swap unwanted store gift cards..you might want to google and see if you can find it, if you're in that situation now...

Wow, that's kind of rude of him. It's almost like he thinks he knows you better than you know yourself! You should confront him about it.

I have no clue as to what you mean.

Tell him about it, and tell him next time you want him to actually buy you what you say, then tell him and you don't tell him you want something if you actually, in fact, don't want it. Then tell him he can't read your mind, where as you can read it.

I agree. Why put up with that kind of inconsideration? Maybe you could get the message through to him by returning the favour? If telling him doesn't help, showing him might?


I've been getting a lot of stuff I never wanted at all. In my childhood I never played with dolls, yet I kept getting more dolls and clothes for them. I never even unpacked the things!


Just last Christmas my aunt got the idea to buy me a bracelet. Thankfully my father was with her and pointed out that he had never seen me use anything like that. She gave him money in stead to pass on to me. Thank heavens!

I've had friends and family members do that to me. It's like they want me to be a certain way, even though they know that I have a personality and a mind of my own.