question if you were parents?

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1. would you cry if you child was ever diagnosed with ____________ why would you cry, or why wouldn't you not?

2. how would you handle people other people biased tours your child?

3. medication?

4. early intervention do you believe your child would stop learning at the age of five unless they get this ( you be surprise how many people thank this)

5. your opinion on mental age? ( my opinion B.S based on what doctors said about me)

6. how old are you going to wait into potty training?

7. are you going to believe every single thing a doctor say about your child development even though you see them do things in front of you that they don't do with others?

8. Are you going to treat your child like he or she has a handicap

9. ask your own question?

10. MONIQUE IJ is -------------------------------------------- ( something nice)

Last edited by MONIQUEIJ on 11 Jul 2010, 10:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

1. Would you cry if you child was ever diagnosed with autism? Why would you cry, or why would you not?: Because, I would love my child no matter what.

2. How would you handle other people being biased tours your child due to their disability?: I would be very verbose with my anger.

3. Would you put your child on medication?: Only if he/she wanted to.

4. Early intervention - do you believe your child would stop learning at the age of five unless they get this?: No.

5. What is your opinion on mental age? I have no opinion.

6. How old are you going to wait into potty training? It depends on what the mother wishes.

7. Are you going to believe every single thing a doctor say about your child development even though you see them do things in front of you that they don't do with others? I will take it with a grain of salt.

8. Are you going to treat your child like he or she has a handicap? Of course not.

9. MONIQUEIJ is -------------------------------------------- ( something nice) She is well-meaning.

1. would you cry if you child was ever diagnosed with ____________ why would you cry, or why wouldn't you not? no

2. how would you handle people other people biased tours your child?
unsure
3. medication? no

4. early intervention do you believe your child would stop learning at the age of five unless they get this ( you be surprise how many people thank this) no

5. your opinion on mental age? ( my opinion B.S based on what doctors said about me) b.s

6. how old are you going to wait into potty training? 1

7. are you going to believe every single thing a doctor say about your child development even though you see them do things in front of you that they don't do with others? phd means little to me

8. Are you going to treat your child like he or she has a handicap nope

9. ask your own question?

10. MONIQUE IJ is -------------------------------------------- ( something nice)
hot

1. I'd be pissed, it's my child and I realize that he will go through a lot of hardships to get where he wants to be.
2. If I can't cure their ignorance, then I won't try.
3. Depends if it's severe enough to affect his functioning, side effects need to be taken into consideration though.
4. Can't say for sure.
5. It comes with the tag?
6. Wait until 2 or 3 years old.
7. Not every single thing, no, I'll use my judgment to decide what's truth or lies.
8. Hell no.
9. Do you view it as a disability or just a difference in thinking?

I am glad you have such high self-esteem.

lol not really i'm trying to build it up.

1. would you cry if you child was ever diagnosed with ____________ why would you cry, or why wouldn't you not?
Perhaps yes, only from being overwhelmed initially. Not out of anger at my child.

2. how would you handle people other people biased towards your child?
I would be upset but probably not know how to handle it.

3. medication?
It would depend on severity of the symptoms, until the child was old enough to make an educated decision for themselves.

4. early intervention do you believe your child would stop learning at the age of five unless they get this ( you be surprise how many people thank this) I don't know enough about it. My gut feeling is that learning might be slowed down but I really have no idea.

5. your opinion on mental age? ( my opinion B.S based on what doctors said about me) can differ from physical/chronological age?

6. how old are you going to wait into potty training? Not push before my child is ready, but the sooner the better.

7. are you going to believe every single thing a doctor say about your child development even though you see them do things in front of you that they don't do with others? There is no way a doctor can know a child better than their parents.

8. Are you going to treat your child like he or she has a handicap
Nope

9. ask your own question?
Will it rain this week?

10. MONIQUE IJ is -------------------------------------------- ( something nice) knowledgeable about polls.

Most of these would be joint decisions, of course. Off the top of my head, on my own:

1. Would you cry if you child was ever diagnosed with ____________? Why would you cry, or why wouldn't you? Well, it would depend on what it was. Some kind of terminal disease? Yes, for obvious reasons. An autism spectrum disorder? No, probably not, because I'm pretty sure there's like a 99.99% chance any child we had would be somewhere on the spectrum, at the very least, so it's to be expected.

2. How would you handle people other people being biased towards your child? It depends on who they are. If it's teachers or related professionals, they'd need to be sat down and talked to, of course, and if that failed to work, reported. If there were still issues, moving classrooms may be needed. Random passing people aren't really that important; they would, of course, be rebuked and an explanation would be provided. If they persisted, there would be an issue. I am not a doormat, and I am not quiet in anger.

3. Medication? That's far too vast of a question to answer. It would depend on a whole host of things.

4. Early intervention - do you believe your child would stop learning at the age of five unless they get this (you'd be surprised at how many people think this)? I've never heard that they would stop learning without it, but if it would be beneficial, of course it should be done. Why not give the child every advantage possible?

5. Your opinion on mental age? To some degree, it's valid. There is a general expectation of where people should be at certain ages; I'm not talking about jobs and school, but things like social skills and developmental milestones. I view it as a rough guideline on where the child actually is.

6. How old are you going to wait before potty training? Blah, how early can that be done? It's like 2 or something where they can grasp the concept, so then.

7. Are you going to believe every single thing a doctor says about your child's development, even though you see them do things in front of you that they don't do with others? Those things would have to be discussed with a doctor, of course. I wouldn't plop a child down in front of one and assume that they view everything, so behaviors that are displayed at home and no where else would of course be brought up. Of course though, doctors are not infallible.

8. Are you going to treat your child like he or she has a handicap? I would provide a child with what they need, and yes, that depends on what they're capable of, which can be influenced heavily by a disorder. I'd never show less love to a child with a disability than one without, but if one child has a speaking problem, I will take him or her to a therapist; ignoring problems won't make them go away.

1. would you cry if you child was ever diagnosed with Autism why would you cry, or why wouldn't you not? I would not cry, because there are worse things to be, than autistic, such as a rapist, or a murderer.

2. how would you handle people other people biased tours your child? I'd probably get very upset with them, and tell them, that though my child might be a little bit slow, that he/she has a very unique way of looking at the world, that should be valued, by everybody.

3. medication? No

4. early intervention do you believe your child would stop learning at the age of five unless they get this ( you be surprise how many people thank this) I do not believe this to be true. I didn't go through long, grueling hours of ABA Therapy, and I turned out fine.

5. your opinion on mental age? ( my opinion B.S based on what doctors said about me) I think that theories about mental age, are a load of crock.

6. how old are you going to wait into potty training? I'd wait until the child is three years old, to be on the safe side, like my parents did, with me.

7. are you going to believe every single thing a doctor say about your child development even though you see them do things in front of you that they don't do with others? Not a bloody chance.

8. Are you going to treat your child like he or she has a handicap
Not on God's green Earth, would I do that.

9. ask your own question?
How many people with AS and HFA do you know in person?

10. MONIQUE IJ is groovy, because she accepts that I like the 60s, even though she's only 20.

1.Yes, because even though I would accept my child no matter what, a diagnosis of Asperger's or HFA means life is going to be harder for them.
2.I would go out of my way to educate them.
3.Only as a last resort if he/she is too unstable to function. I'd prefer happiness and comfort come from something non-pharmaceutical, because I don't want them to become dependent.
4.No, until I do more research.
5.Sensible, you need to be able to act your mental age if you want to survive in the real world on your own. Which is something I would want for my child.
6.Um, as early as possible, good confidence builder and makes life easier for me.
7.Generally yes, although if he/she says something disagreeable I will consult other Doctors on the issue/do more research.
8.People that asinine don't deserve the right to raise children.
9.Would you make a point to put your child in social scenarios if they were HFA/AS to insure they developed the proper social skills?
10.Ambitious and tenacious.

I only want to answer the potty training question

I think they should be able to use the toilet as soon as they can walk. I'm serious, there is no reason a child cannot use the toilet when they learn to walk.

i couldn't agree more.

There are actually lots of reasons. If you ever become a parent, you may discover one or more of them.

People who aren't parents have a lot of ideas about how their future child raising experience will be. This thread is devoted to those ideas. But the fact is, until you actually have a child you have no idea what your reaction to certain situations will be. You can't plan to cry or not cry because crying is an emotional reaction, not something that is planned. (Crying also has no bearing on whether or not you accept your child- for all the posters who think that loving a child no matter what means you can plan on never crying about some pronouncement in a doctor's office).

People who aren't parents also have a lot of ideas about how their kids will be (kids who aren't even conceived yet!). This thread isn't about that. But this particular answer is. Assuming that there is "no reason" that a child couldn't use the toilet as soon as they could walk is a dangerous presumption because it means you have some assumptions about how your child is guarenteed to be (guarenteed to be trainable soon after walking, in this case). Having assumptions about how an unconceived child will be is a very bad idea. It's the specific very bad idea that leads some NT parents to be at such cross-purposes with their autistic children. Until a child is actually with you, you have no idea what that child can or can't do at any given age.

Really? Then what will you do if you have a child that is not developmentally ready until age 4? What will you do if you have a child who is permanently incontinent?

This whole thread is well-crafted around the idea of parents preparing to gracefully accept whatever child they happen to have. And yet this potty training thing jumps out as a glaring exception to that. If a person is prepared to accept a child no matter what, why are differences in potty training ability an exception to that acceptance?

Just this last one then I'll stop. I think people will get where I'm coming from.

Some can. Some can't. Some children are able to use the potty as soon as they can walk. Some have a gap of a year or more and may not learn till 3 or 4. Some children will not learn until later. Some will never learn.

This whole thread is built around accepting a child for whoever they are and whatever condition they may have (that is the thread opener, after all). And yet, even with all this acceptance, there continues to be the assumption that children will potty train by a certain age and that's that. Don't you get angry when NT parents make the same assumptions about their AS children and why their child must make eye contact (or whatever)? Just because a lot of children can and do certain things by certain ages doesn't mean every child can and will. The members of WP ought to be particularly aware of that. Yet potty training is supposed to be some sort of exception- the one thing that all children can do by a certain age regardless.

What does that mean?