how can i deal with this?

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My paretns have gone on a cruise to america and will be returning in 9 days. iam 21 and my brother is 18. we are both looking after the house for a week.

the thing is though my younger brother is getting very agressive towards me and if i make one mistake he starts shouting at me. i don't rise to the bate even though i am tempted to punch him. were both big and i don;t want to get into a huge fight with him liek we used to when we were younger.

its like living under a roof with a phycopath and his friends who he is always inviting round are not being that friendly to me either.

any advice on how i can deal with my brothers mood swings? he is also smoking as well with his friends last night at 3 in the morning in the house so maybe that is why he is getting agressive?

i think another issue is that i have AS and my brother is an NT and that intself can make us clash because i might do things which really piss him off without realising it even though i have nothing but the best intentions.

One thing I have had to learn the hard way is this: Other people do not (and likely never will) take our "best intentions" into account. So, we have to learn how to *not* do things that piss them off.

You parents certainly know about these conflicts, so did they leave any instruction or suggestions behind?

my paretns are just hopeless they did not even take into account the conflict between me and my bro.

I can totally relate to everything you said- my brother is going through an aggressive 'phase' atm too (although it's been 5 years) and he's really good at winding me up so I get angry and I hate it. He smokes a lot too and I'm sure that's one of the major contributors. I'm 23 and he's 21 so we're technically 'too old' to be fighting but sometimes he winds me up so much that I end up trying to hit him (bit pointless since he's nearly a foot taller than me!).

During the summer, my parents went away and left us on our own and it was horrible- we ended up fighting all the time and it was really draining and hard to deal with. On time, he had friends round and they were arguing at 5am which scared me a bit. In the end, my cousin came to stay because I couldn't deal with it on my own. It's really hard, especially if you used to get on (me and my brother used to get on well when we were younger but recently everything I do annoys he- he shouts at me for things like "taking things too literally" and says my voice annoys him, or gets annoyed if I get stressed or ask him to turn his music down a bit). It's really hard when he says horrible things in an aggressive way, and I get really upset.

I also find it hard with my parents around- he can wind me up so much that I snap in front of them, which causes more arguments and my parents say I shouldn't get involved and that I'm provoking him, but I don't mean to and it's hard not to get involved when you live in the same house. It's really hurtful when my parents say that what I think doesn't matter. He really gets to me though and makes me act in ways I don't like, like hitting things, shouting or crying hysterically.

Sorry I haven't got much advice it's a really difficult situation. Would there be any way that a relative could come and stay with you? It really helped when my cousin was there. Hope it goes OK.

Well then, you will have to do that yourself and learn how to avoid doing things that piss him off. Some folks will say that is not "fair", but even that does not change anything. This world is full of people like your brother, and we do not have to suffer at their hands unless we insist upon their needing to understand us.

what type of people behave like my brother then?

I agree as well that its hard with NTS becasue we do things and talk in a way that seems to strange and annoying to them but not to us. Same with my friends as well i do things which can push them away.

A bit silly as well my parents leaving an AS and an NT at home with each other. just a recipe for disaster because of conflicting views.

A few months my brother and my parents travelled away for 1 week and i took care of the house for a week, It was great i could do things at my own pace and not have my brother to contend with.