I am looking for insight into Female Aspies

Post Reply New Topic

I have yet to learn about this
As most of the stuff online is about boys
I know its harder to diagnose
But what is it like to you

Could you elobarate a bit more on your question? Are there any specific aspects of being female and on the spectrum as compared to being male and on the spectrum that interest you?

Apart from this, you might want to check out the General Autism Discussion Board. A whole bunch of threads concerning female people on the spectrum and how they are supposedly different from their male counterparts cropped up there over the last few days.

I feel like a man who has breasts and a vagina. It's not always a good feeling.

I have to admit that I have not met many people IRL of which I knew for certain that they are on the spectrum. I have met quite a number of people who may be on the spectrum, but there is other factors that I could be confusing this with like intellectual giftedness. I seem to pick up on a combination of AS and giftedness quite easily, but I'm not certain how good I am at spotting either on its own.

That said, I do get the impression that males on the spectrum tend to talk more about their special interests and their emotional issues are more obvious in them. I've not yet met a male Aspie myself who was much interested in sports or worked out himself. The guys I have come across this far were mostly textbook nerds - it was obvious to anyone that they were different from most people.

On the whole, I have met less females than males who I could identify as being on the spectrum, but they seemed to be quieter and they talked less about their special interests. In many cases their special interests were something more "appropiate" for girls like animals or art. The females came across as shy and insecure, but not as nerdy. I also have the impression that female Aspies tend to keep their emotional troubles more to themselves. Not in the sense of talking less about them then the males do, but in the sense of not showing them so obviously to the people around them.

All of this is a highly personal view and may not be what most people have experienced, but I would say that I feel like a "typical" female Aspie. I am working on my emotional issues mostly by myself and while my sepcial interests tend to be rather scientific and thus not really "girly", I have learned to talk only about those aspects of them that might hold at least some interest for others. I have picked up a lot of social scripts and I think I behave mostly like a shy NT. I reckon I would be hard to spot for most people.

Asking people whether they are on the spectrum is tricky business. First off, most NTs would consider that kind of question highly inappropiate and probably even insulting unless it were asked between close friends. Just walking up to some girl and asking her may be seen as overly familiarizing or even offensive (especially if she is NT after all).
Second, not everyone who has AS is aware of it. I only found out about three months ago that there is something called Asperger's syndrome at all. While I was almost instantly certain that AS describes me pretty well, I am just one more example that it is possible to live for a very long time and never to figure out what is different with oneself. So if you were to ask somebody if they have something that sounds like some obscure and potentially dangerous disease to them, that might scare them off.

A better course of action might be to talk to the girl in question in a relaxed, as smalltalk-like way as you can. Tell her a bit about yourself, about your having special interests that few others share, about how you find it difficult to relax in company and to talk to strangers, whatever is part of your AS that you think somebody else might be able to relate to even if they do not know about AS. If that sounds familiar to her, she will quite likely ask for details or tell of similar things she has noticed about herself. That might be the moment to bring up the term "Asperger's syndrome". If she has heard of it, good; if she hasn't, offer a bit of additional information. Personally, I think that it is important to emphasize that AS is not in itself dangerous and that it is not in any way contagious. That keeps people from worrying needlessly.
Once the conversation has progressed to that point, it ought to be okay to ask whether she feels like her mind might be working in a similar way.

Good point
Same reason I never asked my gay friend if he was gay
He came out eventually
But if I had asked who knows
I have heard of Aspergers over time
I have that walking encyclopedia thing
I just really discovered it around October
Now this may seem like its leading somewhere else
But I noticed you joined in october
And you are a veteran
And I am jealous cause I thought
I was posting at an abnormally high rate

I don't know how I earned that veteran status already. I would have expected it to take longer than just two and a half months, but I reckon the number of posts may also be taken into account for this. As far as I can tell, my status changed to "veteran" when I reached 500 posts, so that might be the magic threshold.
There's days when I post a lot on WP and days when I just read what other people wrote but don't participate myself. A good portion of my posts originated in the "Off the Wall" section of the forums. I used to post in the games threads there and that probably made my post count soar, but somehow I don't feel like participating in that forum anymore.
It's easy to make a lot of posts when each individual post only consists of a few words rather than several sentences, but I do hope that most of my posts still have some meaningful content to them.

From what Ive learned 500 is correct
1000 you make your custom rank
I realized I have probably posted like 50+
in the past few days

So I guess Im on my way

Also
My wifes fathers mother
Is from Lauf(spelling)
And her mothers brother(her mom was born in India)
Lives with his husband in I want to say Hamburg
Or some other big city ending in burg

Where is the rainiest part?

Do you know where the city of Cologne is situated? It's in the Rhine valley about halfway along the North-South axis of Germany as a whole. To both sides of the Rhine valley, on about the same "height" as Cologne, there is hilly country. Both those stretches of hilly country have a lot of rain, more than the rest of Germany. That's because the clouds have to leak some rain to make it over the hills.

Where I live it is generally moist and we have swampy patches in the forests. There's lots of lakes and rivers that are used for drinking water and some of them even supply Cologne. Now in the winter there's even more rain than during the summer, but since I came to WP in late October, I have been less emotionally troubled by the rain than in most other years. Well, the fact that it's mostly snow instead of rain may have its part in that as well.

I'm sorry, I've never heard of a place called Lauf, but there's lots of small villages and towns especially in Southern Germany, so it might just be some place I've not noticed so far. I've been to Hamburg only once, for about a day. They have a huge sea port there and I visited the fish market. Hamburg is also one of Germany's current hotspots for musicals and every now and then really huge ships like the Queen Elizabeth II visit the Hamburg sea port and lots of people go there to watch the show.

Cologne does not have a big port like that, but the city is very lively. The people here like to celebrate and they gather several times a year to do so in the streets. There's also lots of museum I like to visit and a wonderful zoo with a whole herd of Indian Elephants. That zoo is a great place to spend a free day.

Lauf is a small village
I believe the family pretty much owns most of the town
My wife has 2 houses I believe that will be hers one day

Is English your first language?

Also I liked the description very much
I can see it in my head

The way you described it reminded me of lord of the rings
The way Tolkien described everything at length but with such vivid detail
That you were taken there

Are you by chance near the Alsaice
I know from Cooking School about that region sort of
I understand it to be French influenced

Speaking of
I had to make Sacher Torte in baking class
My wifes grandmother said it to be better
Because I made mine extra moist
Have you ever had it there
I believe at the Hotel de Sacher or something like that
I probably got it wrong

My first language is German, but like most people in Germany, I began learning English in school when I was ten. I've read a lot of English stuff, so I reckon I'm able to understand most things and to get my point across - in other words, I think that I'm proficient enough in English that I could live in a country where it is the official language. But sometimes I'm struggling with the details, like which preposition goes with which verb.

The Alsaice is a good bit further south than where I live. Cologne is closer to Belgium and the Netherlands and those are more present in the minds of the people living here. The local dialect of Cologne, however, was heavily influenced by the French language (and a bit by Dutch) as Cologne was conquered by the French army and they held the city for quite some time.

I've had Sacher Torte a few times and I found it delicious though maybe a tad too sweet. What I also like a lot (and what may be considered good, traditional German cakes) is a yeast dough with fruit or poppy seed on top. It may sound a bit boring compared to Sacher Torte, but it's a real treat when served fresh from the oven. Another typical German thing seem to be the many kinds of small cakes that are about the same size as an adult's hand. You can imagine them much like a little cake shrunk to a single-serving size. Typically those consist of a sweet dough with fruit filling or topping or in some cases nuts, poppy seed or marzipane. I've hardly ever seen those abroad.
Sacher Torte was indeed named after the hotel where it was first served, but that hotel was situated in Vienna, Austria, not in Germany. Austria is a lot like Germany in many respects, but with higher mountains and the people there treat each other more politely. It's also one of the countries many Germans spend their vacations in.

Lauf definitely sounds like a village in Southern Germany. They often have that kind of name there and many of them are indeed very small.

Oh my, nobody has ever compared my writing style to Tolkien. That's quite a compliment. Thank you.

So how about you? Where do you live? (You needn't mention the exact town, a short description of the region will satisfy my curiosity.) What are people like around there and what is typical for where you live?

Sure, Kölsch is the main kind of beer that is served around here. I like it as it is not as bitter as some other kinds of beer I have tasted. (By the by, Germany has a lot of different kinds of beer and most are considered typical for a certain region.) Kölsch is per definition brewed in Cologne or not too far from the city and there are several breweries in Cologne that also offer a pub where people can sit and drink the freshly brewed Kölsch and eat local specialities, most of them hearty fare. We call those brewery-pubs "Brauhaus" (literally "brewing-house") and they are very popular spots in Cologne to meet with friends and spend the evening.

Admittedly, I am not very well-informed on that kind of historical detail, but I looked up the answer to your question on Wikipedia and Germany lost control of the Alsace-Lorraine in 1918, so I reckon it was due to WWI and its aftermath. I have included a link to the English Wikipedia article on the Alsace-Lorraine, in case you have not already read that, Ackmann. And here is another article on the history of Cologne as I figure that might be interesting for you as well. Cologne has a long and interesting history to look back to. In WWII the city center was completely flattened by the Allies, as can be seen in this pic. The only major structure that was left standing was the cathedral, which has a very interesting history itself, having been under construction for more than six-hundred years.

I've not tried Berliner Weiße, but the syrup thing is true. There is also some other kinds of beer that have syrup added to them like the Bavarian Hefeweizen. Not all people do this though, but the syrup thing has become more popular in recent years. Common kind of syrup to add to bear are woodruff, which gives the beer a greenish colour and a rather sweetish taste, cherry and banana.
Woodruff is quite popular in other alcoholic beverages in Germany as well, like punch or liqueur. It's not only the taste that appeals to people, but also the bright green colour that makes things look nice.